So, alright!

[ someone take Wichita's comm away. now. now, now, now. she's sitting in the back room of the bar, not exactly trashed, but on her way. there's 90s music muffled in the background, as always, though she's not paying any attention to what's going on out there at this point. she's been back here, thinking.

how depressing. ]

I know this ship is mostly all doom and gloom, hey, I've had cold proof of that fact shoved down my throat time and time again. I get it. I know. This place sucks. ... Sorry, oh-two-oh's, but it's the truth.

But listen up. It's been way over a year since a lot of us showed up, and apparently our last jump lasted an additional year, so that means.. we've all missed a birthday. If not two! Or more, if more than one jump lasted that long. Which, to me, is a reason to celebrate. And don't give me any crap about not celebrating your birthday, because no, come on. You should party, you should feel pretty damn great about yourself. You've survived. You didn't let this place ruin you.

That's definitely worth celebrating.

[ and that's definitely something she's still working on convincing herself to be true, so. here's the motivation behind this whole transmission. oh boy. ]

And so, I'm declaring that today is, officially, our universal birthday. Everybody on the ship! It's your birthday today. So, go nuts. Forget about the fact that this place sucks for five minutes and have a drink or eat some space cake - if you can find anything like cake here anymore - do whatever you want. Relax. But mostly just try and do whatever you can to forget that this place is eventually going to k-

[ woop, crashbangbam. that's what it looks and sounds like when someone drops their comm in the middle of a sentence, oops. oh well. there's a muttered just do it! before she shuts off the comm. prepare yourselves crewmates, for the best game of pretend Wichita can muster considering.. everything. she'll try and help with the whole chilling out thing. she's not a con artist for nothing. ]

[ HEY NETWORK long time no chat. have a mike ross in his room wearing jeans and t-shirt, barefoot and looking like he hasn't eaten properly in a month (which he hasn't) nor shaved or combed his hair in a month (which he also hasn't). his back is to the door of his room as he props up the communicator on his dresser and takes a step back, giving the communicator enough of a vantage point to show him from head to toe. when he deems the communicator secure enough, he smiles. ]

Hey! [ nervous energy kicking in: now ] Uh, hi. Small request.

[ and then he reaches off camera to hold up a suit ]

Anyone willing to trade a bag of funyuns for this thing? Or doritos. Or... cheetos, I guess? Basically anything in the chip family, really. I'm not picky.

[ he frowns for a moment before tossing the suit to the side again and moving to approach the commmunicator. and suddenly!!! the door opens behind him showing one (x1) donna paulsen in the doorway. donna looks as well put-together as always, but with her hands on her hips, she's definitely a formidable force. which means mike, of course, jumps in surprise. ]

Holy fucking--

Mike Ross, are you addressing the network while looking like a space hobo?

There is no such thing as a space hobo, okay.

And yet here you are.

[ so mike sighs! ] Okay, fine. Fine! [ and then, reaches for the communicator, addressing it. ] And I guess I could also use a haircut too or whatever.

[ a shrug and boom, end feed. ]

(( mike is in blue, donna in orange ))

[ From the doom and gloom of everyone's existence around here, rolls a voice that's... well okay, not very doom and gloom-y but give him a second. He'll get there. ]

Like one, that on a lonesome road
Doth walk in fear and dread,
And having once turned round walks on,
And turns no more his head;
Because he knows, a frightful fiend
Doth close behind him tread.
[ aaaand... a moment of silence. or appreciation. or both. both is good. whichever you'd prefer, because moz just needs a moment to enjoy. or quite possibly brag about this font of information in his brain. now, let's continue. ]

I'm just curious -- no one's actually shot an albatross around here, right? For fun or sport or just to see what might happen if you did, because i'm starting to hope that one of you showed up with some dice. Just, y'know, in case. And by 'in case' I mean every single day. Because those dice might just come in handy when any other frightful friends show up, and that's when i'll be there to remind you.

[ sigh, can you hear him shaking his head? ] I've begun to realize that you'll never run out of stories to tell because of this place, you'll only run out willing ears. The considerable lack of people - [ to use as underground sources ] - to play a game of parcheesi with is starting to become more of a disappointment than I ever thought it could be. What am I supposed to do with my sunday nights now? And if one of you tries to tell me to pick up Go Fish, i'll have you know that I'm only willing to sink so low.

And i've already sunk to the levels of bottom of the barrel three dollar cabernet, which is like licking the floor of a subway tunnel. [ .... er. ] Not that i've ever done that before.

[ well..... ] I might have paid someone else to do it.

But that's not the point. There's only so much boredom one man can stand. Only so many times you can play three-card-monte with yourself before you start getting it on the money. And the payout on that's not so big, if you catch my drift.

[ my reputation's well set by now, neal says like it's not a big thing and peter can't lie and say it isn't. sure he had let the matter drop then only to half pick it up ( sort of ) later after a conversation with wichita. the lifts and their malfunction had stopped him from having his own conversation that drew off of what wichita has said until just a bit ago.

it bothers him more than usual to know that neal is somewhat keeping things from him. not because he wants to ( god he can't want to because, he's here and hadn't neal been so happy to see him when he came ) but because he doesn't know what he's supposed to say. he's in the dark and maybe he really has gotten involved in something that he can't even remotely get himself out of. and that sets peter on edge, because yes it was neal's own choice but peter could have pulled him back. maybe.

there's a moment on the feed where peter doesn't say anything before he smiles looking just a little tired, double checking that this is all filtered away from neal before he finds himself asking what might be a slightly complicated question for anyone to answer at home. let alone people who know a neal from before his excursion and know a neal from after. ]

I know this is probably an unorthodox question to ask, but if you could indulge me, what are your opinions on Neal Caffrey? I don't care if you're close or if you only know of him through what you've heard, I'd welcome any answers you all have. This is filtered away from him if you're worried about him barging in here acting affronted by anything you say, and I'm not likely to tell him it because it's more for my own curiosity's sake. I happen to know him from home and I was wondering what sort of impression he's left on all of you in the time he's been here.

[ because if neal's reputation is well set then they should all have the same answer. or something close to it. ]

[It's short and simple.]

I know all of us here have lost at least one person on this ship. So let me ask you...

When did you start feeling like you're always the one left behind?

Hi, everybody! I happen to be a new arrival here but I've been here for a few days, so I think it's about time I introduced myself. My name's Blaine.

But that's not the only reason why I wanted to introduce myself. Everybody on the Tranquility can hear this, right? See, I'm looking for some friends of mine. It's kind of a long list, so I thought it would be better just to show you.

[Hence, he holds up a photo to the feed.]

Now not everybody I'm looking for is in this photo. Their names are Joe, Rory, and Sugar. Joe has really long dreads and Rory is Irish, so you'd probably recognize them easily. Sugar is...um, money. Anyway, if you've seen any of them, I'd really appreciate it if you would let me know. Thanks!

— Oh, and New Directions, if any of you guys are here, give me a call?

[ Yes that's Nickelback don't judge me.

Up in the Oxygen Garden once again, Jaye's leaning on a tree near the pen for the larger animals. They're just out of sight, but the sound of the cow chewing cud can be heard if you really listen. ]

Well now that this piece of crap is back up [ she gives the comm a shake, making the image go blurry for a moment until she stops ] it's time for me to share what Mordecai, Lilith, and I found last month. [ Pause. ] We went wandering around the ship.

There are a bunch of super deep holes and a creepy painting with hands that follows you around. We took pictures, if you all want to go nuts.

And I guess this is the part where you can yell at me for going looking, too, but all of you people who were comatose -- if you don't remember the network being down and aren't new you were in a coma, by the way, or maybe just really stupid -- should know that I was trying to help you all. And I didn't go alone, like some people.

Anyway, pictures.

[ And now linked are several pictures of this and this. Enjoy! ]

[Michelle is in the library as usual; people who frequent it have most likely encountered this beautiful blonde bibliophile taking stack after stack of digital literary records from the shelves, parking herself at a table, and just sitting there doing nothing but reading.

That was what she was doing until she started this transmission. So if you'll excuse her, she will push aside a towering stack of records before smiling widely; for someone who was pining for her sisters several days ago, she's exceedingly chipper. And today, she is wearing her ship uniform; paper clothes can be uncomfortable, after all.]

Hello again! I've been thinking - do we give newcomers a tour of the ship? I think it would be very useful to have one, since this is a very, very big ship.

[She glances at the console not far from her, rests her chin on her hand, and pinches her cheek with her free hand. The smile is replaced by a look of longing.]

Oh, and if any of you have real books with actual covers and paper pages, may I please borrow them? I miss real books. I miss turning pages, the smell of new books, actually holding one in your hand... [Michelle lets go of her cheek, raises her head, and looks at her stack.]

I promise I'll return them, but I might borrow them again.

[OOC: Again, fourth wall permissions post for book characters!]

[Ianto is sitting in the oxygen gardens, back against a tree. Lovely day, isn't it? Of course it is, the temperature is regulated. Apparently he's having trouble keeping himself busy, because he has a question.]

I'm curious. What are some of the things you've all received in your lockers? Interesting things, weird things, the unexpected. Boring things that were exactly what you wanted or needed and were therefore uncanny and more than a bit creepy. Sharing is voluntary, obviously.

[This has absolutely nothing to do with the interesting presents he got in his locker last jump.]

[ when Wichita's video cuts on, it's clearly recording from somewhere on the bar, what with the wall of bottles behind her and the lights and the music going on in the background. her mask is off ( but nearby ), because she can't wear her fox face while also wearing her bartending sombrero because of the ears and- well, you understand. but she's got both hands on the bar, not because she needs to hold herself up, but because she wants to be leaning like this. damnit. ]

I'm bored, and this bar is pathetically empty, so here's what we're gonna do.

We're all gonna stop going out into the doomy unknown, and stop getting our asses kicked, and stop worrying about the next big Stupid Thing to ruin our lives- [ lol spoiler: her mask is already ruining her life, what with her paranoia skyrocketing and the recent seeing zombies thing. hence the whole practically living at the bar development. ] - and you're all going to come here, come hang out, have a few drinks, and freaking relax for a while. Alright? That's the plan. That's our next thing.

And it starts right now.

Get your asses down here and order a drink. Dance a little. Meet somebody new, make some stupid decisions that result in good times instead of space horror blahblah. Maybe have some fun, for once. Just an idea!

Unless you're like, under sixteen. Then your order is automatically a space Cola. Which tastes nothing like Coke or Pepsi. Sorry.


[ ooc: open for network posting or action spam. I was going to put up a separate log, but this is easier and less spammy. <3 ]

[ the feed opens with a bit of a sad sigh coming from it, and it's almost as if lydia sounds like she's going to report that someone left. but for those of you who know how to fake sadness, it might not be nearly as genuine as it could be. and really, as soon as she opens her mouth, it should clear up your confusion on how much she really cares. ]

I realize that it's fascinating that we're all becoming insane, like Neal and whoever that one very depressing anon is, and stressed and we're all still trying to recuperate from whatever that whole thing with the the locked doors and all of us being shoved into the Oxygen Garden and nearly freezing. Have you guys finished cleaning that up, by the way? I also think a jump should be coming up soon. The days may have blurred a little.

All these things are horrible, but, there's a silver lining, because according to Hayley's calendar, that maybe she flipped a date or two around on, today happens to be be Slap a Lawyer on the ass day. Now, personally I know of a few, and I imagine there might be more, because I haven't talked to everyone. The point is, I propose we actually embrace the spirit of this great holiday. [ no lydia, please sound more amused about this. please sound more amused that you're sending everyone to just go slap a bunch of asses. ]

So, I'll get everyone started. I know Edgeworth, number 007 » 114, is one, and so is Mike Ross, number 011 » 002, even though he can't do math at all, and Harvey, his reasonably attractive boss and also number 011 » 001, is one. And Nathan, number 006 » 078. I think might be. At the very least he's a politician and most of the time, those people went to law school. That's four, out of however many there really are. And I know I missed people, but does that mean they're off limits? No, I, Lydia Martin, by the power invested in me by me actually remembering that Hayley even put this on her calendar, hereby declare that everyone who has not gone crazy and might murder people, should go forth and slap a lawyer's ass. And I expect to hear all about it. I might even join in the fun myself. 

Go forth and slap away, Tranquility. Might actually do wonders to make the ones of us still having trouble feel a little better.


[ ooc | okay so! this is open to action threads and everything from everyone. i only included edgeworth, mike, harvey and nathan because those are the only lawyers lydia knows for sure are lawyers. this does not mean that anyone who plays a lawyer character other than those four is excluded since this is so open to every lawyer and such on the tranquility. equal opportunity ass slapping, everyone. so yes, go forth and slap and enjoy this. ]

Just so it can't be said that I'm a girl who doesn't follow through- ta daaaa.



And before you think about making fun of it, consider that I am seriously hung over and still managed to make this stupid thing without using comic sans, okay? That's an act of mercy. I'm pretty much a saint with that kind of self-restraint. [ it's hard to see the girl in question, when she's busy flashing this ugly calendar at you, but glimpses of Hayley's face can be seen from time to time, peeking out from under the hood of a sweatshirt. ]

I took the liberty of arbitrarily assigning holidays after what everyone was kinda talking about the last time I asked? And then like, threw in a few of my own. Holidays are in red, because hey nothing terrible ever happens when things in red end up on the network right? Okay! Ummmmm.

Something-tember the 4th is go find a personified country that gardens and follow him around for an hour asking the most irritating questions you can think of day.

Something-tember the 14th, as every second decided upon Wednesday of every made up month, is slap a lawyer on the ass day.

Annnnnd Something-tember the 21st through 23rd is Space Thanksgiving, because I like eating and holidays built around food should always last more than one day because. Food-comas. And you know, pie. Which is a thing that frankly, should just happen more than one day a month, alright?

But there you have it. Ask and you shall receive etcetera etcetera.
Man what does this say about me and my free time.

( Private| NEW TEAM JAILBAIT FILTER| kurt hummel, wichita, john connor, tate langdon, simon silverton, percy jackson, brendon frye, isaac lahey, allison argent, heather mason, jessica hamby, stiles stilinski )

So.

[ well hey, you guys, have a new face on the feed today. he's one of the new arrivals, trying to get used to this new space lifestyle!! which means friends are... probably a good thing. maybe. he's not sure yet, but he knows he needs to meet people. the ~general populace~, so to speak. ]

Space, huh?

[ wait no. he kind of frowns at that. worst opener. but then he considers all the posts that he's seen (memorized) since he's arrived and well, this ain't so bad. ]

I was... woooonnndering, uh. How many of you are from... New York City? Circa... 2011 or 2012. Ish.

[ man this is chalking up to be one of the most awkward experiences of his life. it's just-- this is like skype alright, except when you use skype you usually know who you're talking to-- here? way different. haha posting to a network, that's weird.

he is usually not this bad but you are also all strangers so. yeah. wait, here's a good idea. i mean, he has a lot of free time now so-- ]

Oh yeah and uh, does anyone know where I could get a camera? Thanks.

[ does he end the post now DOES HE END THE POST NOW he totally ends the post now! yes! good job, mike ross. you successfully completed the goal of posting a video post to the network. next time, maybe have an idea of what you want to talk about beforehand. ]

[ There are a few things everyone might notice about this video post. One is that there's no way Jaye could have gotten from the medbay to the kitchen on the 001 passenger floor this quickly. Two is that her hair looks both dirtier and longer than usual, and instead of either happily mussed or neatly groomed, it's just a complete mess. Three is that, judging by the way Jaye sort of seems to be wobbling back and forth on the floor and has burst capillaries in her face, she was just rather sick and might be so again. Likewise, anyone who looked around before or after the jump may have noticed that Jaye wasn't there -- didn't go down, didn't go into the gravity couches, and that Faith Lehane was looking after her animals. ]

So. [ Her voice is hoarse, quiet, and the rasp is completely new and sounds painful –- in fact, she has to pause, clearing her throat for a moment. It doesn't go away completely, but she's a bit louder, at least. ] I-- [ and she winces ] sat out during the jump as an insect. Don’t do that. It was a month. Everything was red, copper and salt, until it ended.

[ It hurts to talk, and Jaye takes a moment to rub at her throat. ] Want a shower, food.

[ She pauses, glancing away from the camera for a moment. Her eyes aren’t exactly wet, and maybe it's from her earlier vomiting, but either way... ] Missed you guys. [ And she cuts the feed. ]

((ooc: MCU!Tony will be getting her from the kitchen and carrying her down to medical. Her replies will probably come from after she's there and probably be in text form. If your character wants to go visit her there (or fuss at her or whatever), I'd be up for it, but be warned that she's having a bit of a hard time talking at the moment and will set Faith on you if she feels shitty.

Also someone might want to clean up the 001 kitchen. ))

[ everything in neal's life right now depends on coming off as better-- healing, masking pain maybe, but better. as such: time to get back on the network socialization horse.

he's in his devore, this time, and a fedora to boot; armor, but whatever. hot armor. ]

You know what I've noticed? Space is actually pretty boring in between it trying to kill us all.

In that vein, here's something I haven't done in a while. Pick a or b and try your best.

( ic attachment )

That's a, here's b.

You're on a road-- let's say to the nearest drycleaners. If you don't understand why we need one of those, you're going somewhere else that's very important and exciting, all right? You come to a point in the road where the path is blocked by three guardians; their names are Knight, Knave and Chaos. Knight always tells the truth, and Knave can always be trusted to lie. Chaos just blows whichever way the wind is strongest, that day.

To get past them, you only have to do one thing: by asking three yes or no questions (one to each guardian, double dipping not allowed) figure out which one is Knight, which one is Knave, and which one is Chaos.

There is, as always, one catch: the guardians understand English but will answer you back in their local language, so 'da' means yes and 'ja' means no. Or maybe it's the other way around-- probably should have read the guidebook closer.

So. How do you do it?

And hey, why not one more for the math geeks living among us. Finish the sequence:

4, 6, 12, 18, 30, 42, 60, 72, 102, 108, ?, ?, ?.

( locked to matthew keller )

[ and now, a quick word from Wichita; ]

For anybody that's interested, I've set up a shooting rage on the eleventh floor, in one of the recreation rooms. I'm sure there's some kinda protocol I'm ignoring by doing this, but whatever, that's why I'm giving everybody a heads up here. If you hear gunshots from that hall, it's just me. I've left a chair outside the door so you all know exactly which room it is, so nobody should come bursting in or whatever when I'm shooting. [ lookin' at you, cop and hero-types. no need to get all huff-puff "I've come to save the day" on anybody. ] I know I'm usually kind of a goofball whenever I show up on the network, but this isn't something I'm taking lightly. I can't dictate who comes and goes, but don't disrupt unless you've got a good reason to.

Basically, this is a PSA to not be a dumbass and wander into the room I'll be open firing my gun in. [ shrug ]

If you wanna join - as in you've got your own gun and you wanna practice and you aren't a jackass about it - then by all means, stop by. Just knock first, yeah. And bring your own targets, I only set up about a dozen for now and I'm not exactly swimming in stuff to shoot at.

[ sigh. ]

Right.

-- Oh yeah, Colonel. Guess now's your chance to show me what you got.



[ ooc: and here is the open log. ]

WHY IS THERE A MONSTER TURKEY VULTURE TRYING TO ATTACK ME FOR GOING INTO MY OWN ROOM HOLY SHIT NO SOMEBODY PLEASE COME CLAIM THEIR HIDEOUS PET BEFORE I SHOOT IT

THANKS




[ ooc: she's in talk-to-text mode. or... text to talk.. whatever. she's yelling at her communicator and it's translating it to text, right. ]

[ on flips the feed, and the sleeve of someone's jumpsuit is the first thing that is seen. It’s not exactly intentional, just Ariadne attempting to situate herself on the floor of her cabin before she addresses the network properly. ]

Um…I guess I should start by saying; Hi. [ she starts out casually, letting her device finally focus up on her face, as she offers the network a ghost of a smile. ] I know some of you don't exactly know me – which happens – it's a big ship. [ a beat, her hand going to the back of her neck as she unconsciously starts to rub it, quickly thinking out her next few words. ] But I've been here…going on ten months, maybe? [ she's honestly not exactly sure the exact time frame anymore, but whatever it is now, it's been a long ass time and she feels like she can at least say something about things now. ]

Anyway... [ she sighs, her head bobbing slightly as she lets out a small hum at her next few thoughts. ] I know we have security and all – I honestly don't see any reason to change that - but we shouldn’t be expecting them to be looking out for everyone – it's not possible – there's too many of us for that.

So…[ on to the point of her actually even addressing the network. ] has anyone thought about maybe creating floor monitors - people that could honestly focus their attention on the people on their own floors? [ a beat, her nose crinkling slightly ] And no, not someone that pries into everyone's business - just someone that at least would know the goings on with their floors. And yeah I know people have mentioned the buddy system - which is a good idea to a point. But I still think floor monitors might be something we should look into.

I don't know. Maybe this has already been mentioned as a thought. But it just seems like a good idea to know your neighbors.

[ she stops there, again offering the network a faint smile, shrugging a shoulder slightly as she does, figuring if people honestly had thoughts to add or questions, they would. so she doesn't exactly feel the need to expand further on her thoughts here.

but not a second later and another thought occurs to her, and she is adding: ] Also, I'm looking at redoing the maps – adding things and what not – if anyone has anything to offer with that, I'd welcome the help.

Good day. My name, as many of you know, is Miles Edgeworth. I have been present on this ship for approximately two and one half months at this point; at home, I was a prosecutor.

I've a pair of proposals for your consideration. Each will be posted first via the text function, then read aloud for those who avoid the use of text.

( The 'buddy system'. )
( Mediation service; still in its beginning stages, looking for volunteers/input )



[OOC: If people sign up for the buddy system, I'll be matching them up next weekend sometime! An opportunity for forcing your character into new CR. :>]