[Bilbo appears on the video feed looking a bit worn around the edges but otherwise cheery and none the worse for wear. What do you expect, though, he's Bilbo Baggins? The world could be falling apart around him and while he would be concerned for his home and his friends, he'd be taking it in stride all whilst fussing about the state of his waistcoat and how much trouble the cleanup is going to be afterwards. Because that's who Bilbo Baggins is - an indomitably positive person through and through.

And so while quite a number of folk are bemoaning their situation at the moment, Bilbo Baggins is looking forward. And Bilbo Baggins has a plan.]

I say. This is quite a spot that we find ourselves in at the moment, eh? Dreadful business, this sickness stuff. I tell you what though, whenever I'm feeling under the weather, I find that there's nothing better than a good spot of tea to help clear the sinuses, soothe the throat, and cheer the spirits! Well, that and sitting in front of the nice warm fire back home in my hobbit hole with a good book - who knows what has happened to my nice little house in my absence. [Get to the point Bilbo.]

In any case, while I cannot extend an invitation for quite such an affair, I can at least offer some comforts! [He claps his hands together, and then proclaims:] I have made tea! A great deal of tea. And it is going to go to waste if I don't find at least a fair number of you to share it with. Misery loves company, yes? I can make deliveries! Who's up for a cup?

The following is a report of the events that occured during the 32nd jump related to the reconnaissance mission into the ship's undocumented corridors lead by Commander Shepard. Perceived delays are the result of attempts to clarify information.

( After Action Report, 32 Jump Cycle Exploration and Reconnaissance and Concurrent Incidents )

--id list.

[ jenna's face is slightly pinched, but it turns into a smile now; a little strained, but genuine. ]

All right, I'm sure everyone's seen the great taunter's latest attempt to make us all crazy-- I'll let the geek squad tear that one apart, I'm pretty sure nothing I have to add on that creep is all that constructive.

[ she rolls her eyes a little. ]

Anyway. For those of you who don't know me-- I'm Jenna, welcome to space, sorry about the part where no one asked you if you wanted to come at all. And to cover the first half of the spiel: yes, space! No, I'm not crazy or lying, and you're not dreaming.

That out of the way: since I might as well make it official, if you're one of our less culinarily-inclined core and want to not starve dinners happen nightly on the far side of floor one. Rules are: under thirteen, you get to fly free. Older than that and you either help clean or cook yourself or you don't eat-- freeloaders get the boot barring special circumstances.

...bringing bribes of extra, non-space generic brand food or dessert also gets a free pass.

[ so basically give her a good enough sob story or pony up. ]

Other rules include but are not limited to 'no law at the table', 'it's not a debate if personal insults are involved', 'don't be a jerk', and 'clear your own plate, nobody here is your servant'.

It's pretty much tacos, lasagna, and tuna noodle-- but hey, if anyone who didn't mostly learn to cook real people, adult food while trying to keep a fifteen year old boy with a weed habit full wants to help fancy it up, I'm ready and willing to learn in advance.

[ her expression goes a little more serious. ]

I know the life and death stuff is... life and death, and therefore priority. But people need normality, too, so before you ask me 'but Jenna, why are you acting like anything is okay? Spin around in circles more' think about how much just having a meal to look forward to at the end of the day helps everything feel a little less insane.

It can be easy to feel like if you don't know how to... I don't know, split an atom or rescue people from burning buildings, you're kind of non-essential out here. [ she lifts one shoulder in a shrug. ] Not to be a complete hippie, but normality is just as important as making science. [ sup, hipster nerds. ] Different important, but equally valid.

I guess my point is, none of us need to tackle this by ourselves. [ with a tiny smile, now, because nerd. ] 'Live together, die alone'.

And on that cheery note-- sorry, I generally try to do upbeat, not in denial of reality-- welcome to space, new kids.

( video | 100% locked via auggie encryption to close cr )

Hey. [ HELLO, TRANQUILITY. someone appears to have found a razor since their last post. someone also appears to have not slept in the past... well, sleeping's overrated. connor's eyes are droopy and dark, and if the communicator could communicate smell, it'd probably be producing a intense odor of coffee. which is pretty much all he's been drinking lately.

off the side of the feed, there appears to be some kind of shifting, golden light—it's throwing cheerful, twinkly shapes against the walls of his room, lending a pleasant atmosphere to the feed, despite connor's obvious discomfort. the source of this light remains offscreen, but the mask is there nonetheless, sat innocently on connor's bed. despite telling abby he would... he hasn't yet locked it away. he can't seem to make himself do it. (it's got to be there for a reason, right?)

anyway. not the point. ]

Right. Couple of things. I'll try to be quick.( TL;DR AHEAD )

[ Abby's kept clear of the network despite having been on Tranquility for a month - partly because being social on a death ship wasn't her first priority, partly because most of her questions could be easily answered by Connor.

But if there's anything that can make her come out of her shell, it's animals. Animals and dinosaurs, which apparently exist here (at least the one does). The feed opens on her face, but the gardens are easily visible behind her. ]

This is Abby Maitland with the theoretical zoology department. [ She sounds only mildly aggrieved, mostly friendly. ]

Is there an official system for tracking the animals loose in the gardens? The ecosystem has managed fine thus far, but we might want to be more careful about interfering with it unchecked. I'm not even sure what some of these animals are eating. [ Hello, Myfanwy. ]

Enclosures might not be a bad idea either. I hate to lock anything up, but it would be in everyone's best interest if we can easily find them during emergencies - theirs included.

[The broadcast is audio only, and the voice that comes across is quiet and more than a little bit ragged. But he speaks evenly.]

Good day. This is Miles Edgeworth.

These past days have been chaotic, and as such it has been easy to lose track of time; however, it must be remembered that in spite of everything that has happened we have received no indication that the jump will not go forward as scheduled. It will occur in five days. Please bear this impending deadline in mind; there will be more reminders as we approach the event, but be sure that you are prepared.

I manage a service, in which I recommend that all individuals on board to take part. It is a "buddy system," in which you are assigned someone to check to ensure that you have made it safely to the jump. For more details, please inquire here.

Additionally, if any are interested in joining the security force, please speak with me; I should be glad to direct you the right way.

[A slight pause. He's searching frantically for distraction, but this isn't enough - so he adds more.]

What languages does everyone speak? I should like to find a conversational partner; my skills are becoming rusty.

[And:]

I should also like someone with whom I might be able to discuss certain aspects of physics.

[And then another pause, and then quietly:]

Quite.

[ heeeeey network, have a video of auggie! he's at his desk in the communications office and his headphones are around his neck. the communicator is in his hand and he's looking off to the side, in a sort of spaced out way. which is probably because he's blind. ]

Heeeello, network. Your friendly neighborhood communications team with a tiiiiny bit of an update. As you all know, this ship is ... [ a wave of his hand as he tries to come up with a word before he snaps his fingers ] insane and you're probably all dealing with the repercussions of that at the moment so I wish you the best of luck!

Juuusst, to anyone actively using the network at the moment, please do not be alarmed if you hear something, uh, out of ordinary, so to speak? We picked up a bit of a disturbance and the source seems to be from the ship itself, not anyone on the network. If you do happen to hear it, you will probably be a bit alarmed at the sudden noise. Please please, do not panic and try not to go looking for the source because like I said, it's from the ship. Stay in your groups, stay in your camps, don't do anything stupid.

[ or at least, they think it's from the ship. There's not actually much of a source but he's at least sure that the screaming isn't coming from anyone on the ship. ]

Anyway, yeah, there's your warning. We'll be watching the channels from here to keep track of ... whatever it is. Good luck!

[ AUGGIE'S SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE ENCRYPTION 100%; FILTERED TO COMMUNICATIONS DEPT + EVERYONE NATHAN SENT A MESSAGE TO ]

So. Screams, huh?

[ hey, at least it's to the point ]

[ When it begins, the camera is pointed in the direction of water. Beneath it, you see the newest member of the oxygen gardens swimming around slowly — Cibo's coelacanth. It's old from the looks of it; With scales hanging from it and its color is faded. And it barely fits into the frame at the distance that Cibo seems to be holding the comm device. Basically, it's a huge fish.

Soon enough, the camera turns to show Cibo, who seems pleasantly exhausted. She's normally slept at least once since the jump by this point. But she hasn't and it shows through to her tired voice. ]

If anyone knows how to care for any sort of fish, please respond. I would like to know if there are any special requirements for a creature this size. I am in the oxygen gardens, if you wish to come.

[ She looks off-screen to the water. ]

Also, if you know the name of its species? I've named it Dhomochevsky for now. He was another... friend I had...

[ The sight of the coelacanth seems to have drawn her attention away from the feed. After realizing it's been on for a long minute, she quietly shuts it off. ]

Unlike my predecessor I have the benefit of knowing better than to demand to know if any of this is some kind of terribly unfunny joke. That being said, the sorry state of these so-called uniforms is the worst kind of hilarious. I don't suppose anyone on board has the good luck to have a spare set of clothes (of a decent standard, if you don't mind) and the good grace to share?

100% PRIVATE TO CHAPEL HILL ( + OXFORD FOR ENTERTAINMENT VALUE )
Mr. Sinclair, you do realise we put the LHC where it is for a damn good reason, don't you? Namely because nobody in the Order would split a bollock if Switzerland was blown to hell, least of all the Swiss themselves. So what in God's name ever convinced you and that Temple fellow that it was a good idea to build your own? No matter how redeemingly phallic it must be for you to have control over something that size and shape that doesn't mean you can play with it whenever you feel like it, you know.

And maybe when dear Aberdeen's skills as a hacker matched her arrogance then perhaps getting your sticky little fingers all over those nanites would have been a good idea. Perhaps.


( ooc: rather than clog up the ooc comm with another intro from me I thought I'd pop a quick note here! This is an alternate universe version of the previous Cambridge that was on board before, except this one has 100% more penis but roughly the same amount of terrible attitude. Enjoy, or not. )

[ There are a few things everyone might notice about this video post. One is that there's no way Jaye could have gotten from the medbay to the kitchen on the 001 passenger floor this quickly. Two is that her hair looks both dirtier and longer than usual, and instead of either happily mussed or neatly groomed, it's just a complete mess. Three is that, judging by the way Jaye sort of seems to be wobbling back and forth on the floor and has burst capillaries in her face, she was just rather sick and might be so again. Likewise, anyone who looked around before or after the jump may have noticed that Jaye wasn't there -- didn't go down, didn't go into the gravity couches, and that Faith Lehane was looking after her animals. ]

So. [ Her voice is hoarse, quiet, and the rasp is completely new and sounds painful –- in fact, she has to pause, clearing her throat for a moment. It doesn't go away completely, but she's a bit louder, at least. ] I-- [ and she winces ] sat out during the jump as an insect. Don’t do that. It was a month. Everything was red, copper and salt, until it ended.

[ It hurts to talk, and Jaye takes a moment to rub at her throat. ] Want a shower, food.

[ She pauses, glancing away from the camera for a moment. Her eyes aren’t exactly wet, and maybe it's from her earlier vomiting, but either way... ] Missed you guys. [ And she cuts the feed. ]

((ooc: MCU!Tony will be getting her from the kitchen and carrying her down to medical. Her replies will probably come from after she's there and probably be in text form. If your character wants to go visit her there (or fuss at her or whatever), I'd be up for it, but be warned that she's having a bit of a hard time talking at the moment and will set Faith on you if she feels shitty.

Also someone might want to clean up the 001 kitchen. ))

[ it's been a rough couple months for everyone, and the mystic fall contingent no less so. still, when jenna opens the feed she looks more alert and cheerful-- not to mention: less inebriated-- than she has in a while. the locker full of things both useful and frivolously, uselessly cheerful made a few conversations come back in stark relief, and with new light.

she waves a little, shoving her hair out of her face impatiently after. ]

Hey. Okay, so. If you're new, hi, I'm Jenna. Everyone else-- yes, this is what I look like without a bottle in my hand.

[ she rolls her eyes a little, ducking her chin. ]

Bad joke, but that's part of my point. I've been here since jump one, and it really doesn't take a genius-- [ sup, tony. ] to see that the stress has been getting to me. And while my method of coping ended up being attached to a few too many embarrassing in retrospect public posts, I know I'm not the only one. Whether we've been here almost ten months or a little over a week, this is a stressful situation and I hate to be that person, but it's not getting less stressful.

The point is, nobody wants to be Steve Buscemi in the asteroid movie. Not the Morgan Freeman one, the less intellectual... disaster movie. Anyway. [ she exhales, waves a hand. ] Sorry. The actual point is high pressure situations lead to people breaking down, and we've already started down that way. We need to pull back on that, keep ourselves as healthy and happy as we can be.

[ or we'll end up like gallagher, is what she doesn't say, but for the well-informed the subtext is clear. ]

I have a list. Of suggestions, pretty much. I'm not nominating myself leader for change, I'm really not, but if they help... [ she trails off, then taps a few keys. ] It's not very long, just a few basics.

( ( IC TEXT ATTACHMENT | CUT TO SAVE FLISTS ) )

And I had one more idea, but this one is a little more personal. Godric and now that guy with all the meat got me thinking-- yes, okay, we're all in space and no one can remember signing the kidnapping permission slip. But we're from a million different worlds and times, and-- maybe some kind of organized story swap? Like a culture exchange. [ she's more animated now, moving her hands as she talks. ] Like, okay, for example. I'm someone's bannerwoman, but until Alayne explained the reference to me I didn't get why the word 'banner' came into it at all. And forget knowing what Jersey Shore is, there are plenty of us who have never even seen a tv.

Even just vocabulary is so different in places, seeing us all mix together would be a cultural anthropologist's dream. [ oh right, not just babbling. clearing her throat, jenna shrugs. ] Anyway. I don't have a framework, but before I try that is anyone interested? I thought a place where talking about home is the whole point might be helpful for some people, too.

...I never know how to end these things. Over and out? I guess.

[Ianto is in the oxygen gardens, cooing softly at a pteranodon in Welsh. It's taller than he is, and its wingspan is huge as it spreads them wide to keep its balance as Ianto tosses what appears to be a piece of chocolate into the air. The pteranodon waits for him to do so before snatching the treat mid-air with its long beak and gulping it down happily. Inquisitively, it steps closer when there appears to be no more on its way, and Ianto pats her on the beak before addressing the communicator.]

Right, hi. Ah, some of you probably saw Doctor Ross's discovery of the dinosaur last night. She's actually a female pteranodon named Myfanwy. [He pronounces this Mee-vahn-wee, more or less. Welsh, go figure.] We kept her at my workplace back home, and I was mostly the one responsible for taking care of her. While she's not precisely tame, I can promise she isn't going to hurt anyone unprovoked.

[Myfanwy nudges at Ianto with her beak insistently, and Ianto pauses to stroke a hand between her wide-set eyes and murmur that he doesn't have any more. Clearly understanding the sentiment of the statement, if not the language, she comes as close to pouting as is possible for a dinosaur, making an irritated sound in her throat and rustling her wings.]

She likes chocolate, as you can see, so it's probably best not to go wandering about the oxygen garden with chocolate in your pockets. I can't be billed for drycleaning here. And it's probably best to keep any house pets out of the garden as well.

[He looks a bit sheepish at that.]

We taught her only to eat fish and anything we covered in a special barbecue sauce, but we don't have either here. We're having to resort to feeding her things from the kitchens, so it's lucky she doesn't eat much more than your average person. Unfortunately, we never did manage to break her of the habit of going after cats and small dogs, and the occasional flock of sheep. Retraining is always a hassle, so we don't want to tempt her.

[Clearly bored of the attention now that the chocolate has run dry, Myfanwy allows Ianto to pet her a few more moments before shuffling backwards and spreading her wings. With two powerful beats, she's airborne and flying away.]

Anyway, if you see her in the rafters somewhere, please don't shoot her, or throw things at her, or scream and run. She's perfectly content to ignore you unless Jack or I introduce you to her.

[ This video is rather frantic compared to the rest of Betty's posts. Once again it's in the science department, but this time the camera is facing the ceiling and Betty appears to be crouched behind a cabinet, her voice rushed. ]

There's something in here.

[ Something large and with wings, judging by the movement the camera picks up in the rafters. ]

I think it's-

[ And then suddenly something large slams down onto the floor, wings spread. ]

...Is that a dinosaur?

((ooc: So Betty just found Ianto's pet. ... Yup.))

[ the feed switches on to reveal connor’s face in fuzzy close-up, staticked and blurred. after a moment, it focuses, and he leans back until his shoulders are visible, one arm held out to grasp the camera, which now is recording with a slight worm’s-eye view. his hair is longer, curling around his ears, nearly touching his shoulders, and his stubble's taken on about a month's worth of growth. (he's in his jumpsuit, the sleeves rolled up, so he looks more like a scraggly pilot rather than the mad scientist he actually is, which wouldn’t be such a terrifying thought if he didn’t live up to the stereotype at least 60% of the time.)

hope you guys like handheld shakycam, because this is being filmed more like a horror movie nature documentary than an actual network post.

the background is quite clearly the science department, banks of computers and jumbled heaps of overturned machines stretching on and on for yards behind him. there's an oddly-shaped outcropping of metal jutting out behind his head, but with the angle of the camera, it's difficult to see exactly what it might be—or if it’s anything at all. spoiler: it is. ]

( she blinded me with science! )

When I signed up for Starfleet, I figured I'd be seeing a lot more stars.

[ there's a pause and then a quiet sound that veers just along the edge of embarassment before ]

You know, I used to say I'd see the entire Argo Navis. It's this giant constellation--or it was a constellation, before it got broken up into six different parts. Six parts of the ship Argo from Greek myth, I bet it was something to see, if you could swing it. You can't even see all of it unless you head out to a certain latitude point, so I guess when I was little I thought getting closer to the stars themselves would be a good way to skip that step.

[ another pause. there's the tap of fingers along a countertop. sulu's shrugging, but it's a voice transmission, so. ]

Just strange to think it's not out there, even if this ship did have windows. Hard to gauge how far we've gone without...well, windows and stars.

[ dear tranquility, you really do not want to even know this exists. your life could be so much better if you knew this didn't exist. tony's life (and sleeping patterns) would be so much better if he didn't know this existed. basically, this shouldn't exist but it does because tony stark likes poking his nose in things he shouldn't. alas.

in any case, tony has been sitting on this since he watched and listened to it after he got out of his pod and presented it to his ragtag team of superheroes + people who...aren't superheroes. if he's being honest, he thought about keeping this information to himself, because what good is it going to do. it's just going to make people panic when who knows what it actually is. then tony remembers a time when he didn't know something, he remembers when obidiah didn't tell him about that situation and he remembers how much it sucked to find out after the fact. so after a talk or two (or three) with individuals whose opinions he trusts (well not so much in riddick's case, but eh) he's finally decided on what to do.

before tony says a word to the network at large, he sends an audio clip entitled: that's not just static. what everyone will hear if they choose to listen to it is a loud screaming static that you'd think would come from the jump, nothing particularly scary, but when you listen closely you can hear actual human screams over the static. needless to say it's not a good thing. ]

Tranquility. Hi. I'm going to take a wild stab at guessing and say that we're all not blue and...most of us are alive except for that one dude who made the mistake of being stuck outside the pods when we jumped. Sucks to be him, obviously. By the way, new people, hi, those pods that you tumbled out of, yeah those are kind of important. Kirk will give you the run down on that because I'm definitely not the approved greeter.

What I am here for is to send you that little audio clip. For those of you who just hated that screaming static and shut it off before the interesting part, there's human screams in that little bit. I don't know how in the fuck they're there, but trust me, that's some human screaming going on right there. I'm ninety-nine point nine positive that's not from the dead guy if only because that seems way too obvious. [ also because his suit was nowhere near him at the time. ] So do us both a favor and don't try to even claim it because, yeah no.

That being said, I believe we can all safely say that this ship just a little creepier and I, for one, am kind of hoping we avoid any of the nice and devastatingly interesting occurrences that have happened on this ship like fucking clockwork every month. Seriously, one month of downtime wouldn't go amiss right now, I'm just saying.

[ private voice, stark encryption 100%, sent to natasha romanoff, thor, topher brink, captain america, jarvis, bruce banner, and riddick, and betty ross ]

None of you are to even breath a word about the video portion of this. This is already going to make people panic, and I'm not in the mood to be tossed out of airlock because someone decided to think that this was all my fault because our resident creepy shadow thing looked in the direction of where I was watching him. Until any of us know what the fuck that thing is, that's staying on the downlow.

And that goes for you too, Riddick. I know, shouting disclosure but mass panic not exactly what we're going for here.

[ sup, fellow space kidnapees. a considerably more relaxed jenna, here. ]

Okay: so here's a question that doesn't have anything to do with your spaceship related skills or why we shouldn't wander off by ourselves.

If we're all stuck here together-- the together part is key-- doesn't it make sense to get to know each other a little? I'm not saying we need nightly family dinner, but maybe one time so everyone can meet, exchange names, mingle, develop basic connections?

...And make a roster, maybe. Because asking if 'that really taciturn guy I met by the elevator' is okay doesn't have the same ring as a name. [ sup spock. ] And not to be looking at the negative already, but that way people without someone they already know here don't end up slipping through the cracks.

[ she spreads her hands wide and grins, teasingly. ]

So, are we in? Because if we all have to shower together, we should probably have dinner first.

Oh, and one more thing. [ jenna holds up an iPod, waving it a little. ] Can anyone in the science club tell me they can recharge this? I have an almost full battery, but that's not going to last forever. I can trade... I don't know, something for it. We can work it out.


( filtered to alaric saltzman | private | hackable )