Just so it can't be said that I'm a girl who doesn't follow through- ta daaaa.



And before you think about making fun of it, consider that I am seriously hung over and still managed to make this stupid thing without using comic sans, okay? That's an act of mercy. I'm pretty much a saint with that kind of self-restraint. [ it's hard to see the girl in question, when she's busy flashing this ugly calendar at you, but glimpses of Hayley's face can be seen from time to time, peeking out from under the hood of a sweatshirt. ]

I took the liberty of arbitrarily assigning holidays after what everyone was kinda talking about the last time I asked? And then like, threw in a few of my own. Holidays are in red, because hey nothing terrible ever happens when things in red end up on the network right? Okay! Ummmmm.

Something-tember the 4th is go find a personified country that gardens and follow him around for an hour asking the most irritating questions you can think of day.

Something-tember the 14th, as every second decided upon Wednesday of every made up month, is slap a lawyer on the ass day.

Annnnnd Something-tember the 21st through 23rd is Space Thanksgiving, because I like eating and holidays built around food should always last more than one day because. Food-comas. And you know, pie. Which is a thing that frankly, should just happen more than one day a month, alright?

But there you have it. Ask and you shall receive etcetera etcetera.
Man what does this say about me and my free time.

( Private| NEW TEAM JAILBAIT FILTER| kurt hummel, wichita, john connor, tate langdon, simon silverton, percy jackson, brendon frye, isaac lahey, allison argent, heather mason, jessica hamby, stiles stilinski )

May I have a word with any of you who have been taken to a place against your will prior to this one? A place not your own world. Perhaps an island, though I will speak to others if this description merely fits a majority of what I've described, as well.

[While Japan waits for replies to that, he'll be hanging around the gardens in surprisingly modern clothing considering the katana at his waist. A scarf, too! He's taking his time, walking, enjoying the plants (as much as he can in a garden like this) and occasionally sighing to himself or making quiet, mumbled comments about not being able to observe the seasons properly and his age.

Well until he stops for lunch that is. Still in the gardens, he'll be having his lunch here, and offering an onigiri to whoever might pass by, stranger or not.]

It seems I've prepared extra, if you'd like one.

Good afternoon, Tranquility.

This is Doctor Watson from medbay with just a few, quick announcements.

First, some of you may or may not have noticed that I was absent for the greater portion of the last jump. Sorry - that's about as much as I know about it as well. Anyone who was looking for me, specifically, can contact me at this number.

Secondly, due to my absence, I don't know if anyone new has joined on to the medical team or not [ He doesn't really sound hopeful in that aspect. ] or if anyone's left, so I'd like to call for a quick headcount of our current staff, if you wouldn't mind.

I'd also like the staff to quickly jot down their availability for shifts on the roster I attach.

SHIFT ROSTER

Medbay is always looking for more staff. No experience necessary, just time and dedication to the job. If you're interested, contact me and we'll run through a brief interview with the other senior staff.

JOB SIGN-UP

Finally... I'm sure many of you have noticed we've gotten another Sherlock Holmes aboard. For those of you who don't know, there are three of them.

Two of them look completely identical and sign their texts. Those ones are Seven and Eleven. [ Go ahead and have yourself a chuckle, Americans. ]

Eleven is directly from London. He has never been on the Tranquility before this jump, so please don't try and treat him as if you know him, or expect him to act like he did when you knew him. I'm telling you this so you don't have to hear it from him - he's got a [ A soft grunt of a laugh-not-laugh. ] particular way of putting things. Some things do stay the same.

That's it.


[[ OOC: Info on John's disappearance and his jump post (for anyone interested) is here.

Also! I made a general medbay log post for anyone who wanted to write about lasting injuries from last month/just a catch-all for the area. You can find that here! ]]

Greetings, everyone. [On the camera shows an unfamiliar face to a lot, most likely, since Japan arrived with the latest jump. But he's surprisingly calm despite that fact, already looking to be settling himself into... a bar over at deck 024. Hm. There's not too much of a view of that, though, as he keeps the video fixed on himself, standing tall (as he can at 165cm) and confident in his uniform.]

I am looking to find any spare materials both for building furniture and making clothing. It seems there is a lack of both on board aside from the, ah... provided sorts. [Which is clear in his tone he doesn't find worthy or 'enough' at all.]

In exchange for this request to the community, I'm willing to offer my services. That is to say, I am confident in my ability to sew and create clothing, at the very least, so if anyone is interested in such things I would not mind working something out.

Ah... Thank you in advance. I am Japan, by the way, and I will be here to reply to any questions or suggestions.

[If it sounds like he's rattling off meeting notes… it's because that's exactly what he's doing. Sort of. He doesn't keep to the script too well. But the last time he did the PSA for the Gardens he was a dick, apparently, and not being a dick is important (apparently), so this time he's written it all out beforehand. Hey, he tried.]

Couple-a things about the Gardens.

One: If you want something specific from 'em, place an order here.

{attachment: Order Form.}

As soon as we have it, we can take it up to the specified passenger deck. Saves you time, saves us a huge goddamn headache when we go for somethin' and it's not there. There's also a sheet by the Garden entrance, so use it. Especially if ya want potatoes. [GLaDOS.]

Two: If you pick your own stuff, fill out that form too. Inventory.

Three: If y'don't want to deal with us and want your own plot, we got a section for that. Or you can grow it on the upper levels if you like dirt. Not our fault if somethin' happens to it, though. [A pause.] Not our fault if somethin' happens to it anyway. We're not security.

Four: Tell us if you throw your animal in here, before you throw your animal in here. It ain't a farm. We're not petsitters, either.

Five: Don't smoke near the chemicals. Or the filtration systems. Or the scrubbers. An' if you smoke filtered cigarettes, don't leave the butts on the ground.

Six: There's a few of us workin' down here. If you have questions, ask.

{attachment: AGR Staff Sheet.}

Seven: That list is a sign-up sheet too. Could use the help. And uh. We're not all assholes. One-a you nice ones should do the announcement, next time.




[So yeah. GO TEAM.]

[He speaks with an English accent, corrupted by his native language and years of contact with all kinds of pronunciations from around the world - be it his or someone else's. Still, his fluency makes all those little alterations perfectly forgivable.]

I'll begin this message by letting you all know that waking up in these facilities made a week of decontamination feel like a well-deserved vacation. [For those unfamiliar with those procedures (the vast majority, he assumes):] They aren't. They're quite unpleasant, in fact. But also necessary.

Which begs the question: is all of this necessary as well? And I don't mean the healthy dose of tube - whatever that was, exactly - just the fact that we're somehow here. [Hm.] Highly doubt it. I'd at least have some memory of asking to be whisked away to a haunted space cruise.

[Pause. He doesn't sound like he's being serious, but that's up to you to decide. And he really enjoys the sound of his own voice, so whether this Space Ship Party MC's around to see it is actually rather irrelevant.]

Honestly, I'm just wondering when someone's going to show up and tell me this was an extraordinarily detailed prank. [... Well.] Hoping would be the right word, actually.

[And there you have it. But wait!]

So - who wants to tell me what we're going to do about that dragon?

[Nothing here, but your average trendy looking Asian teenager going through one of the kitchens. He has important questions though! Two of them even.]

Hey like how do you guys feel about gods around here?

[There's a pause as he opens some more cabinets and slams them shut after a quick look.]

And like where's the alcohol? I wanna celebrate you know!

...I'm stuck in the hallway.

[Talk about humiliating.]

Where are all the doors?!

Well, looks like this is it. Go out of retirement, find myself in space.

Bunny's going to kill me...

[ The video starts, with the above slammed into the screen. And then, the paper relents and moves back to show that familiar loser kid. ]

Hi, I am looking for a really good person to be a best friend for my good friend, orange Dave! He's an asshole but he's pretty nice, and he has lots of friends like me and Rose and Jade, but one of his bestest friends died a long time ago, and it is really hard to be good enough. So I am taking applications for a new best friend for him. Rose and Jade don't have to apply, but you can if you want! And the rest of you can go meet him yourself later, but he's really nice.

[ And it switches to text. ]

<b>1. Are you awesome?</b> <b>2. Are you a nice person?</b> <b>3. What are your thoughts about cake?</b> <b>4. Nick Cage is awesome.</b> <b>5. Why are you good enough to be friends with him?</b> <b>6. Are you going to play awesome pranks on him?</b> <b>7. And pretend to piss in his apple juice?</b> <b>8. I don't really know why I'm doing this.</b> <b>9. But he's a really good friend, so I hope you take care of him.</b>

[SHE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS LONG AND HARD AND she has something to say. Also yes she is completely leaving this unlocked just to make you squirm Kiku-kun. So in answer to your thought: yes, yes she is worse than you.]

Supposing... there was someone... who had a very persistent stalker. To the point he wouldn't cease meddling in her affairs-! And. Attempting to h-humiliate her!

Ah... How would. One deal with such a person? Sora-sama your advice would be especially appreciated...

[The camera turns on to reveal Japan in what seems to be the oxygen gardens. A place he can enjoy, though his face does hold a bit of concern.]

Greetings, everyone. If we have yet to speak, I will repeat once more that I am the State of Japan. That is to say, there seems to be an issue in various cases of people sharing names, faces, or perhaps identities as a whole, but... [He shifts, realizing he's rambling a little too much.]

I suppose I am trying to say that there is someone here who goes by the name of the Empire of Japan. I would like to clarify that I am no longer an Empire, but as a true Japanese man I feel I must take responsibility for these sort of actions, even if they are no fault of mine. That is to say... I hope to stop such things as annexation of the kitchen before it spreads to other rooms.

...But I will admit I am at a loss of what to do. Ah, does anyone perhaps have advice for this sort of situation? It seems she considers me an enemy, and I must consider her the same if she continues to spread my name in such a way, but I do not wish for a war.

[A brisk sigh indicates he's glad he got that out.]

On a related note, I am curious as to how many others are dealing with a similar situation, and how they choose to go about this.

And lastly... Is anyone aware of how I can return to the passenger's quarters from here? It is a very nice area, but I seem to have found it on accident. [So. He's lost.] ...Thank you. [And the feed cuts off.]

As I have been assigned a position on the team of xenobiologists here, part of my duties includes taking a sample from each and every being on this ship. I assume it is strictly for record purposes, and such information may aid the medical staff if something unfortunate should happen.

At the earliest convenience, everyone on board will come to the medical bay for a blood sample and a few questions. Each session should be brief; we wouldn't want to keep you from your other preoccupations.

( OOC details under the cut! )

YO. WHAT IS UP MY HOMESLICES. America here! If you don't know me yet, it's awesome to meet you...! I'm probably one of the coolest cats on this ship, so you should be my friend and give me all your positive attention! I carry a gun, so if you need a hero or anything, I'm the guy to talk to! I also work in the gunnery if you have any questions regarding that!
My super awesome Tony bro spoke with you all a few days ago; if you have questions regarding him or how I'm the embodiment of a country, you're being too nosy and curious, but feel free to ask! It's complicated and you probably won't understand jack-shit!

Right! So, how is everybody recovering from that jump? It seems like we're going to be doing that a lot and I really don't appreciate being excluded from shit happening by being put in a chamber all the time; do you? It's like all secretive and bull crap and I don't like it. We could be literally ANYWHERE in space or time or worlds or WHATEVER with stuff like that happening! That's right! You should totally be freaked out about all of this!
Once you're done soaking that slice of info in, I'll tell you a way you can make the stress and panic level go down.

[ a very brief pause. ]

--Okay!! So, I've seen people asking around as to what there is to do around here besides solving what our purpose is here. As important as that is, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, right? Am I right or am I right? I need a stress reliever or something; not like I'm weak or anything. Hahahhahaa! But you know what I mean! Anybody feeling antsy? Sort of bored?

That is why I am proposing something here! What if we started a sports team or something?
A good American sport! I'm talking about BASEBALL. Surely there's a place on here large enough for some baseball or something, right? Anybody interested in forming a team?
If not baseball, weekly poker night somewhere should happen! Or any other suggestions! The ones you give me will probably be stupid, but I'll listen anyway!
You see, I get really bored and creative when all I'm doing is work... and I have a chainsaw. And it works really well, I have found out. I'm sort of really wanting something else to occupy my time right now! Cocaine and drawing dicks only does so much!

ATTENTION COUNTRIES: On the topic of work, I've been arranging our second world conference for the nation representatives (you know who you are!) and it is scheduled for tomorrow night. There is still some information lacking, so I did the liberty to fill it out cause a few of you guys are jackasses and wouldn't do it! Look, I did a kickass job cause you guys are dicks; you should thank me for doing your work for you! Hahahahaa!

Here I go:

[ And here, America sends out a text. ]

( Cut for France's application )

( Cut for Russia's application )

Alright! Thanks a lot for your time! And all you countries, I'll see you tomorrow in room 176!

[click!]

[[ ooc; a log for the countries will go up tomorrow night at 7 PM EST. don't worry if you can't make it for some reason!
EDIT: i lied. IT'LL ACTUALLY GO UP TUESDAY NIGHT, ROUGHLY AROUND 9 PM EST. hope you all can make it. ]]

[The video turns on to a small Japanese woman in formal military dress. Very formal. Are those epaulettes? Who even wears those anymore? Well regardless of her fashion sense, she will give the screen a small, very shallow bow of her head. There is a very serious air of business here. If you are expecting a forthcoming announcement of a death the mood would not be indicative of you being wrong.]

Good day! It is a pleasure to meet all of you, surely. You may call me the Empire of Greater Japan. I feel it should be announced that as of today the forward kitchen of deck 251 is now its own autonomous state under the protection of the Japanese empire.

Food will of course still be served, your basic rights will be observed. But in return I ask you observe the rules clearly posted on the far wall of the kitchen. As well as the simple stocking directions located on the inside of each cabinet door to maximize cabinet space and present a system of order. If these can't be maintained I am... afraid you will not be allowed within the territory of Dai-koku.

Other basic rules include no destruction of property, theft, murder or public indecency. Thank you!

Russia-san, I know you're on this vessel. Please know any aggressions against these borders will be taken as a declaration of war! ...So. Um. Please maintain your manners! ...Your better manners.

[There is a pause where she looks rather uncertain.]

Ah... And if there are any who would wish a meal who would rather not cook themselves or cannot. ...Whatever your dietary needs. Please inform me and I will see to it you receive the proper nutrition in an... appetizing fashion.

Thank you for your time!

[Another bow, this one more flustered than her opening one and the communication ends.]

[ And the video flips on to a man in need of a shave, perched on the floor in front of a veritable pigsty. It's hard to make out what's behind him, but the bed appears to have been successfully flipped over, the mattress askew. The wall, already, is absolutely littered with notes, and though the amount is paltry so far - he's only been here a week - it's still a bit impressive. Encoded, likely, though none of it is particularly legible on the camera, especially in his chicken scratch. ]

Observe.

[ As he says the word, he leans in, and even on such a small screen, his eyes are very clearly wide, dilated. He's beginning to set the communicator down onto a bureau, cradling it gently in his hands as though it's an egg. ] An ingenious way of recording one's processes, far more convenient than the written word, faster as well. Now- You'll see-

[ And he takes a flying leap away from the phone, jumping atop the opposite bureau in one fell swoop and spreading his arms wide. The camera isn't panned correctly - his head is cut off - and he takes a deep breath as though he's about to say something absolutely brilliant -- !! ] I am now taller. [ What follows is a small giggle that can hardly be construed as masculine, as he leaps back down from the bureau, catlike. ] Perhaps a rudimentary test, but one must jump before one can fly. Fly before one can fall-!

[ He stumbles on his way back to the dresser, and jars the thing, the communicator with it, and consequentially knocks the feed offline again. ]

Anybody else feel like solving puzzles ain't the most fun you can have on a spaceship? [Sorry, puzzle club, but Dean doesn't appreciate your idea of fun. The question doesn't really require a response from any of you, either. Clearly the answer is absolute agreement.]

Me 'nd Jim got to sparrin' every so often. Fights're to keep in shape. [Though there's now a list of douchebags he thinks need handing their own asses.] Couple rules to fight by, mostly 'cause Jim didn't want me to break his pretty little face. [A joke. Banter, as a certain English asshole Dean knows would put it.]

Anybody else interested? We can organize somewhere to host this little party if other people who want in.

[The video comes on to show... well. It’s hard to see just yet with how Japan keeps shifting. But he eventually straightens himself and angles the communicator towards himself and Netherlands, who are squashed together awkwardly on a couch, Netherlands obviously attempting to stay perfectly still as he smokes. Japan gives Netherlands a certain sort of look (probably meaning to express “It’s on!”) before addressing the camera again.]

Ah, hello to those who are seeing this. I am Japan. [He even gives a little bow of his head to the camera before looking to Holland with clear expectation.]

[Netherlands, for his part, barely inclines his head - that’s all he’s willing to do at the moment.]

...Hm. [Japan seems to realize this with a sort of troubled face and just faces the camera again.] And this is Holland-san.

[Netherlands abruptly straightens up at that, throwing over a flustered glance as he huffs.]

Introductions are only polite... [Another look from Japan, this one almost scolding.]

[A low mumble that’s lost to anyone other than Japan, and he relents.] Yeah. I’m the Netherlands. [That’s really all he wants to say.]

Ah, so, forgive me if this message is rather unorganized, as we are still doing our best to find a way to deal with such a thing, but it seems that this sort of situation is--

We wanna know what the hell is goin’ on, here.

[Japan visibly stiffens at that, whirling his head to stare at Holland. How blunt... He’s obviously a bit... offended.]

[Netherlands shoots him a small look out of the corner of his eye - what?]

I suppose if it must be put in such a way... [He glances away from Holland with an exaggerated sigh.] Yes, we would like to know such a thing.

An’ if there are ashtrays here.

...Thank you in advance. [Japan’s looking just plain flustered by now, but he shuts off the feed to end that.]

[Fiddling about with the device, Kabuto couldn’t help a tiny laugh of all things. This was different from the technology he knew, but nothing he couldn’t figure out with some fiddling about. Managing to get the video to switch out he gave the most genuine smile he could muster, trying to make it seem as if he was totally innocent and just some kind of silly man that’d ended up in this nonsense. It usually worked with him, usually.]

You know, it’s rather interesting, to be thrown into this situation with technology that is so familiar and yet so much different from your own. I have to say that I’m rather intrigued with how everything around this place works, and even a lab to work in. I haven’t had a chance to have a proper lab with proper light in such a long time that it feels almost like a blessing.

[He pauses for a moment, messing with his hair for a moment, undoing and redoing the pony tail to get rid of the stray hairs in his face. How obnoxious, honestly.]

So! I figure since we’re all stuck here that I should introduce myself and offer my services as they may be needed. My name is Kabuto and where I came from I was one of the best medics and scientists we had, so if you happen to have any questions or need some medical help, I’d be glad to help you out. I may not look it, but I assure you that even at such a young age that I have surpassed the greatest medic we have back in my home.