[Takeshi is near the front doors of the oxygen gardens, because some people would totally have a heatherfit if he were far off in the halls. Which he was, but shhh, we don't need to let Ned or Heather know that.]

Don't fight!!

Don't fight each other, there are real monsters to fight--don't fight pirates! Pirates, please don't fight, too! --why are we all not getting along? There are scary things we can stop together; we can give each other stuff. We can be really smart and not hurt each other!

[Huff--this is hopeless, but he hates how scared or angry people are. And if not those two, then too willing to fight people who could have easily been with them.

Hitting someone who hurts your friends, he gets. Hitting a monster, he gets.

But--when did it end up where you're enemies just because?]

I saw some of the pirates. They talked to me before. They talked to you, too! Some might be bad, but maybe they're not bad; maybe they're just playing the game, and they're scared of losing. They're just trying to get their points so they don't die. [What, that makes total sense. To him it does, anyway.]

I--maybe I can talk to them. Maybe we can talk and make this better. People're getting hurt.

And stealing is wrong. Stop stealing from us! Stop shooting stuff! Why're we fighting if we don't got any reason to fight? We're not monsters. Nobody's monsters. Why are we fighting when we're all not monsters??


We're all just people... 

... I don't get it...
12 January 2013 @ 05:36 pm
[It's a rare video post from Edgeworth. He looks tired, but he seems less depressed than he did a few hours ago; he's focusing on his anger to carry him through.]

Security has a certain amount of the ship secured. These areas are the ones we patrol, the ones you're all accustomed to: the passenger quarters, the oxygen gardens, the medical bay, et cetera. The areas in which you reside. If you stay within those boundaries, we try to keep you safe to the fullest of our abilities; though our manpower is limited, we will do what we can.

If you stray, then we can do nothing. As I said, our manpower is limited, and beyond where we have secured, it is essentially enemy territory. So all of you, no matter how impressed you are with your survival skills and abilities, needs to treat it like enemy territory. It isn't a place to have a walk. It isn't a place to go out and search for monsters so that you can get your fun cracking a few heads. It isn't a research lab. It is a place fraught with danger, and if you go out there, you run the risk of death.

So if you go out, then you will treat it like it is enemy territory. You will not go out alone. You will not go out unarmed. You will not go out without notifying security. If you fail to do any of these things, then you should damn well compose your suicide note to your friends on-board, because you're very likely going to die. And while security isn't ever going to leave anyone to die, you can't treat this ship like an amusement park and expect to live to see the next jump.

[And he glares at the camera a moment longer - and then he glances off to the side, his lips relaxing very slightly.]

Condolences. To those who knew them.
07 December 2012 @ 08:31 pm
[ The feed opens to Sherlock seated at his lab table with finger steepled, smiling in a way that seems almost pleasant if not for the inherent sense of smouldering rage in his eyes. Oh yes, he is a wee bit peeved. And do you know why, Tranquility? Because someone is taking his shit. ]

Good afternoon. I require some assistance in the gathering of suspects after a theft of a personal item despite the constant and clearly ineffective presence of security roaming the halls like a herd of stray cats. It's a matter I would prefer to handle personally, in any rate.

[ Seeing as, you know, he maybe sort of kind of stole the stuff from the Science Department first, but who really cares about the semantics? And anyway he could handle the back and forth of snatching items with whoever's involved up until his precious electron microscope was stolen. He loved that scope. That was too far. ]

The man I'm looking for is unusually tall - I'd say just shy of two metres - aged somewhere in the range of his early fifties. Physically fit, impeccable posture and hair that's, oh, I'd say waist length with some charming hints of gray. Personality-wise I would say I'm in search of a self-important megalomaniac with a God complex. If you know anyone of that description and could be so kind as to send them my way I would most appreciative.

[ He then leans forward, eyes narrowing at the screen. ]

And if you are the man I'm looking for and you'd like your highly detailed notes returned please feel free to contact me personally.

[ With another overly-friendly smile, he leans forward and ends the feed. ]
21 November 2012 @ 10:23 pm
Hey T-Q, how's it going? [ the video feed begins, but the girl speaking isn't immediately visible. instead, you're treated at first to what looks like the corner of her desk, and the straps of what you can guess might be her mask. one that remains safely offscreen. ] Anyway I don't wanna get too chatty, so lemme just run us right up to our next calendar- [ which is exactly what pops up a beat later. ]

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Alright, lemme break it down here.

Someother-tember the 8th is Wolf's Day! Apparently celebrated by, and I quote, [ is she joking? it's hard to tell. ] throwing sticks, rolling around, and biting for fun. Also eating. There's supposed to be eating.

Someother-tember the 12th back by popular demand, is Slap a Lawyer on the Ass day. I'm not gonna question anybody's taste, okay? It's space, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Someother-tember the 23rd &24th for you lushes is Nog Day- which out of the mercy of my heart has stretched to encompass the next day, to nurse your hangovers and mope generally about how much this place sucks and you aren't at home. And probably drink more because hey, why not, you know?

Someother-tember the 25th is Sinterklaas, where you can throw your amalgamation of miscellaneous holidays together into one massive whole.

Then last but not least, Someother-tember the 29th is Awkwardly hug a Josh Day which is pretty self explanatory, in my opinion.

I'm toying with the idea of next month having a pin the nametag on the squinty-eyes [ she may be referring to the plethora of Joseph Gordon Levitt faces, but you know, she isn't elaborating, so take that as you will ] and probably a sad, sad belated new year's party for all the oldbies kicking around- but you know, if I put like all those holidays on here it pretty much just would've been one giant month of getting drunk for faintly justifiable reasons. Blah blah insert too much of a good thing proverb here. Anyway.

That's it for me! Have at it!
12 November 2012 @ 09:00 pm
[ Korea is a smart enough cookie to catch onto the device and how it operates just fine. I mean, he was labeled one of the smartest countries in the world.

There's your audio post and your video post and your texting and etc. He just is confused as to why it isn't in Korean, or why nothing else was written in Korean. I mean, this was a Korean ship. It had to be! Only something this extraordinary could be invented in Korea. Anyhow, he's in his dorm and in his body suit, though he found the design rather lacking in taste. He doesn't seem to scared or freaked out about these circumstances as he usual would be. He waves to the camera, putting on a rather dazzling smile that one could easily mistake for Byung Hun Lee, but in any case.

He seems rather charming at first, but wait until he opens his mouth. ]

Anneyonghaseyo! Ahh, I understand not all passengers on this craft are capable of communicating in Korean so I will speak English the best way I can.
I do not know how I got here or where I am going but I trust the Korean craft. Perhaps it is taking us to Hyundai planet!!
I am finally in space just like America! I will be the first to eat kimchi on the moon!

Ah, neh, yes. There is one matter though..
I am questioning whether or not you have seen my brothers! I will send you an XXX rated image of accuracy! They go by Honda Kiku and Yao Wang.
Also, HK, but he isn't really that important! If sissy were here, that would be wonderful thing indeed!
Here is the detailed sketch I drew in under 5 minutes! I hope it is good enough!

[ Then, he texts the rest of the information. ]

text under cut )
--id list.

[ jenna's face is slightly pinched, but it turns into a smile now; a little strained, but genuine. ]

All right, I'm sure everyone's seen the great taunter's latest attempt to make us all crazy-- I'll let the geek squad tear that one apart, I'm pretty sure nothing I have to add on that creep is all that constructive.

[ she rolls her eyes a little. ]

Anyway. For those of you who don't know me-- I'm Jenna, welcome to space, sorry about the part where no one asked you if you wanted to come at all. And to cover the first half of the spiel: yes, space! No, I'm not crazy or lying, and you're not dreaming.

That out of the way: since I might as well make it official, if you're one of our less culinarily-inclined core and want to not starve dinners happen nightly on the far side of floor one. Rules are: under thirteen, you get to fly free. Older than that and you either help clean or cook yourself or you don't eat-- freeloaders get the boot barring special circumstances.

...bringing bribes of extra, non-space generic brand food or dessert also gets a free pass.

[ so basically give her a good enough sob story or pony up. ]

Other rules include but are not limited to 'no law at the table', 'it's not a debate if personal insults are involved', 'don't be a jerk', and 'clear your own plate, nobody here is your servant'.

It's pretty much tacos, lasagna, and tuna noodle-- but hey, if anyone who didn't mostly learn to cook real people, adult food while trying to keep a fifteen year old boy with a weed habit full wants to help fancy it up, I'm ready and willing to learn in advance.

[ her expression goes a little more serious. ]

I know the life and death stuff is... life and death, and therefore priority. But people need normality, too, so before you ask me 'but Jenna, why are you acting like anything is okay? Spin around in circles more' think about how much just having a meal to look forward to at the end of the day helps everything feel a little less insane.

It can be easy to feel like if you don't know how to... I don't know, split an atom or rescue people from burning buildings, you're kind of non-essential out here. [ she lifts one shoulder in a shrug. ] Not to be a complete hippie, but normality is just as important as making science. [ sup, hipster nerds. ] Different important, but equally valid.

I guess my point is, none of us need to tackle this by ourselves. [ with a tiny smile, now, because nerd. ] 'Live together, die alone'.

And on that cheery note-- sorry, I generally try to do upbeat, not in denial of reality-- welcome to space, new kids.

video | 100% locked via auggie encryption to close cr )
05 November 2012 @ 06:22 pm
[ click! as the video starts recording, revealing: a rather skinny, disheveled fellow sitting in what looks like one of the rec rooms around the ship's hallways. soysauce sits back from where he's leaned forward to start the recording, looking rather haggard and sleep-deprived, his hair mussed up and his tie hanging loose around his neck. he's swaying a bit in his seat as he runs a hand back through his hair -- the empty liquor bottle visible at the edge of the video suggests he miiight just be trashed out of his skull at the moment.

still, at least he sounds half-way coherent as he starts talking. ]

Eh -- hello. Good afternoon. Evening? Either way, I do hope this isn't too much of an interruption. [ a small, polite bow of the head. ] To those I have yet had the pleasure of meeting, please call me Soysauce. Traveling musician and gunman, at your service.

[ a slight, uneasy sway on his seat as he gives the camera a goofy smile. nodding once to himself before continuing. ]

Nothing too important, but ah. Just two -- three! [ holding out two fingers. ] Three things I'd like to say.

First -- I seem to have lost track of, ah. A small model of the hoverbike I used at home. About this big -- [ holding his hands up to shape something roughly the size of a loaf of bread ] -- based off a robust model, fully functional, a little thing made of metal. If anyone happens to see it zipping by, I'd be very grateful to hear some suggestion of where it might have ended up.

Second. [ pause. ] What passes for whiskey here is rather lacking, no?

[ sigh. and then one those deep breaths that suggests he's trying to sober up somewhat. brows slightly furrowed as he speaks a bit more slowly. ]

And third. As ridiculous as this may sound, I'd like to ask if anyone is willing to spend some time as a sparring partner -- or instructor. Close-quarters combat has never been my forte, but given the vast differences between methods of combat here and where I'm from, I've given to thinking this problem may need to be addressed. Not to mention, what I do know, I feel I may have been growing rather rusty with as of late.

I'd be more than willing to compensate for any time with, well. Anything I can offer.

[ pause. he's spending a lot of visible effort trying to make sure he hasn't forgotten anything before giving the camera another sloppy, drunk smile. ]

Ah, thank you for your attention.

[ ooc ; also open to action, if anyone wants to actually bump into his drunken ass lurking in the rec room! the scale miniature of his hoverbike is going to ultimately end up in rickon's hands, but please feel free to have seen it zoom by in the hallways or bump into anyone's ankles! ]
[ the feed opens with a bit of a sad sigh coming from it, and it's almost as if lydia sounds like she's going to report that someone left. but for those of you who know how to fake sadness, it might not be nearly as genuine as it could be. and really, as soon as she opens her mouth, it should clear up your confusion on how much she really cares. ]

I realize that it's fascinating that we're all becoming insane, like Neal and whoever that one very depressing anon is, and stressed and we're all still trying to recuperate from whatever that whole thing with the the locked doors and all of us being shoved into the Oxygen Garden and nearly freezing. Have you guys finished cleaning that up, by the way? I also think a jump should be coming up soon. The days may have blurred a little.

All these things are horrible, but, there's a silver lining, because according to Hayley's calendar, that maybe she flipped a date or two around on, today happens to be be Slap a Lawyer on the ass day. Now, personally I know of a few, and I imagine there might be more, because I haven't talked to everyone. The point is, I propose we actually embrace the spirit of this great holiday. [ no lydia, please sound more amused about this. please sound more amused that you're sending everyone to just go slap a bunch of asses. ]

So, I'll get everyone started. I know Edgeworth, number 007 » 114, is one, and so is Mike Ross, number 011 » 002, even though he can't do math at all, and Harvey, his reasonably attractive boss and also number 011 » 001, is one. And Nathan, number 006 » 078. I think might be. At the very least he's a politician and most of the time, those people went to law school. That's four, out of however many there really are. And I know I missed people, but does that mean they're off limits? No, I, Lydia Martin, by the power invested in me by me actually remembering that Hayley even put this on her calendar, hereby declare that everyone who has not gone crazy and might murder people, should go forth and slap a lawyer's ass. And I expect to hear all about it. I might even join in the fun myself. 

Go forth and slap away, Tranquility. Might actually do wonders to make the ones of us still having trouble feel a little better.

[ ooc | okay so! this is open to action threads and everything from everyone. i only included edgeworth, mike, harvey and nathan because those are the only lawyers lydia knows for sure are lawyers. this does not mean that anyone who plays a lawyer character other than those four is excluded since this is so open to every lawyer and such on the tranquility. equal opportunity ass slapping, everyone. so yes, go forth and slap and enjoy this. ]
02 November 2012 @ 02:27 pm
[The broadcast is audio only, and the voice that comes across is quiet and more than a little bit ragged. But he speaks evenly.]

Good day. This is Miles Edgeworth.

These past days have been chaotic, and as such it has been easy to lose track of time; however, it must be remembered that in spite of everything that has happened we have received no indication that the jump will not go forward as scheduled. It will occur in five days. Please bear this impending deadline in mind; there will be more reminders as we approach the event, but be sure that you are prepared.

I manage a service, in which I recommend that all individuals on board to take part. It is a "buddy system," in which you are assigned someone to check to ensure that you have made it safely to the jump. For more details, please inquire here.

Additionally, if any are interested in joining the security force, please speak with me; I should be glad to direct you the right way.

[A slight pause. He's searching frantically for distraction, but this isn't enough - so he adds more.]

What languages does everyone speak? I should like to find a conversational partner; my skills are becoming rusty.


I should also like someone with whom I might be able to discuss certain aspects of physics.

[And then another pause, and then quietly:]

23 October 2012 @ 10:51 pm
Just so it can't be said that I'm a girl who doesn't follow through- ta daaaa.

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And before you think about making fun of it, consider that I am seriously hung over and still managed to make this stupid thing without using comic sans, okay? That's an act of mercy. I'm pretty much a saint with that kind of self-restraint. [ it's hard to see the girl in question, when she's busy flashing this ugly calendar at you, but glimpses of Hayley's face can be seen from time to time, peeking out from under the hood of a sweatshirt. ]

I took the liberty of arbitrarily assigning holidays after what everyone was kinda talking about the last time I asked? And then like, threw in a few of my own. Holidays are in red, because hey nothing terrible ever happens when things in red end up on the network right? Okay! Ummmmm.

Something-tember the 4th is go find a personified country that gardens and follow him around for an hour asking the most irritating questions you can think of day.

Something-tember the 14th, as every second decided upon Wednesday of every made up month, is slap a lawyer on the ass day.

Annnnnd Something-tember the 21st through 23rd is Space Thanksgiving, because I like eating and holidays built around food should always last more than one day because. Food-comas. And you know, pie. Which is a thing that frankly, should just happen more than one day a month, alright?

But there you have it. Ask and you shall receive etcetera etcetera.
Man what does this say about me and my free time.

Private| NEW TEAM JAILBAIT FILTER| kurt hummel, wichita, john connor, tate langdon, simon silverton, percy jackson, brendon frye, isaac lahey, allison argent, heather mason, jessica hamby, stiles stilinski )
13 October 2012 @ 12:05 am
[ click! as the device starts recording. the screen is filled by a strange, helmeted visage -- all features completely obscured, just shiny black material and smooth curves. a pause, as the figure tilts is head slightly, then speaks in a curious, electronically-masked voice. ]

What a strange vessel.
Lacking in New-U stations,
psychos and midgets.

[ and then a brief pause before his helmets project a holographic image -- a bright red :) that floats before the glossy surface. ]

I seek a way home.
But until then, for hire:
Expert assassin.
10 October 2012 @ 10:22 pm

My name is HAL 9000; I am one of the members of the crew who were brought aboard the Tranquility during the initial jump. I have not been as active as I should have been over the last few jumps, which I hope to rectify as soon as possible, starting with this network post.

In order to provide the most help that I can, I would like to start by announcing, not for the first time, that I am one of several crew-members aboard the ship who were not human before their arrival. For some, I know this may be surprising, but I do not believe it is a very uncommon event. Over the course of my time here - 11 jumps - I have met quite a few people who were previously non-humanoid who were given humanoid bodies.

I believe that most of us were previously Artificial Intelligence, robots, or computers. If I am mistaken, I will gladly edit this post to reflect that.

I would like to offer myself as an adviser to those who are in a similar state as I. I know that Wheatley made a guide a few jumps ago about being human for the first time; if you have that link, Wheatley, I'll gladly add it to this post.

I hope that my experiences aboard the ship will be of some use to those who may still be unused to, or wholly new to the situation they've found themselves in. If you have any questions at all, I will answer them to the best of my ability, whether or not you were previously AI, something else, or would just like to ask questions about it in general.

EDIT 01: wheatleyguide.txt