I heard-

[There is a nervous, jittery pause. Actually, if anyone is listening closely, those first two words? They were pretty nervous and jittery, too. Clearly something has rattled Annie, something that she is not saying.]

-I heard-

[Try again, try again.]

I heard something. In the darkened corridors, well, not precisely in them, because I don't go in there, but it sounded like something moving-

Someone, please say, I'm not going mad. I went to look and I saw some lights begin to come on, and then I left, because-

Well.

I think everyone here knows why.

[Elsa looks and sounds much better than she did the last time she addressed the network. Her pale blue dress has a low neckline, and it sparkles. Her blonde braid trails over her shoulder. Her eyes are bright and not red-rimmed. She’s serene and seems relatively friendly, and her voice is low and crisp.]

Hello, everyone.

I never traveled much when I was a little girl. My father had a big library, and I liked books, so I would look at them and see the engravings of different places, but I never thought I’d be able to visit any of the places in the pictures. To tell the truth, I still haven’t.

I’ve heard that some people think we might not be here on this ship much longer. While we’re still here, I want to use the -- the holodecks, the rooms that change into different places, to see some of the things I haven’t seen before. I’ve gotten them to work, and they were new to me, so it’s not that they’re hard to use. It’s that I’m not sure what I should look at.

I was hoping some of you would be willing to give me some advice. What’s your home like, or your favorite place? Can you describe it, so I’ll know what it’s like if I find something like it in the holodeck? Or is there a place in the holodeck that you recommend... one of the choices they offer? Something I shouldn’t miss?

I want to see everything I can while I have the chance.

[A small smile breaks through: nervous, irrepressible, with the corners of her closed mouth pushing up.]

Thank you.

so if you see something that looks like mistletoe growing in the corner of your doorway
or elsewhere

DONT LET IT SEE YOU
DONT APPROACH IT especially with company
GET AWAY FROM IT or else set it on fire
carefully on fire
ill be along to take care of it later


thanks



[as part of the aftermath of space christmas, there may be some vicious mistletoe hanging around in certain doorways. some of it bites, and some of it growls, and some of it pursues you until you kiss the person you ran into on your way into the kitchen. classic wizard mistletoe prank gone slightly awry but also it's still funny. mistletoe began concentrated mostly on level 5, but it's spread itself upwards and downwards. and into the SEC offices. and elsewhere. feel free to say that you have been assaulted or do some threads of being assaulted in this post/your inboxes/useful log created for this purpose.]

Hi, I'm Annie Sawyer with-

Well, not with anyone, really, I just was hoping that someone could just, if you could, if you have a bit of extra rope, and maybe something heavy that you're not using, I would be very happy to take it off your hands.

And also, be careful, of course.

Mostly, please be careful.

Oh, also, does anyone know, if we lose powers, do doors still lock?

[Bilbo appears on the video feed looking a bit worn around the edges but otherwise cheery and none the worse for wear. What do you expect, though, he's Bilbo Baggins? The world could be falling apart around him and while he would be concerned for his home and his friends, he'd be taking it in stride all whilst fussing about the state of his waistcoat and how much trouble the cleanup is going to be afterwards. Because that's who Bilbo Baggins is - an indomitably positive person through and through.

And so while quite a number of folk are bemoaning their situation at the moment, Bilbo Baggins is looking forward. And Bilbo Baggins has a plan.]

I say. This is quite a spot that we find ourselves in at the moment, eh? Dreadful business, this sickness stuff. I tell you what though, whenever I'm feeling under the weather, I find that there's nothing better than a good spot of tea to help clear the sinuses, soothe the throat, and cheer the spirits! Well, that and sitting in front of the nice warm fire back home in my hobbit hole with a good book - who knows what has happened to my nice little house in my absence. [Get to the point Bilbo.]

In any case, while I cannot extend an invitation for quite such an affair, I can at least offer some comforts! [He claps his hands together, and then proclaims:] I have made tea! A great deal of tea. And it is going to go to waste if I don't find at least a fair number of you to share it with. Misery loves company, yes? I can make deliveries! Who's up for a cup?

Did the shuttle that went missing, er, did it ever, well...come back?

Er.

That is.

We might have seen the shuttle that went missing? Maybe? Back on the little colony. And I was just...wondering! if it had been found and brought back to the ship? Possibly?

Yes?

All right, thank you!

Ship - Tranquility - I have a bit of a crisis-

So I need everyone to stop a moment and think very hard, and I mean incredibly hard, about this, because forget the bloody temperature and the mess with all that and everything else because, well.

...I've run out of tea.

Proper tea, not the space tea that tastes like the stuff you get from the blank boxes that they sell at the Co-op. Or worse, the off-stuff from Tescos.

Does anyone have real tea?

Annie -

[That’s George. That’s George, stinking drunk, gargling his friend’s name.]

Mitchell and I were, were talking, and we agreed that you really...spend too much time with -- with werewolf cultists. Cultists in general, really. It’s -- it’s quite bad. And you really ought to...stop. Now, please don’t...Just hear us, hear us out --

Tell her why.

[That’s Mitchell, equally slurred--a little quieter, because he’s not as near to the device as George is, as he’s mostly slumped against George’s shoulder.]

Tell her why, so she understands--she can’t join any cults, and she can’t just be making tea for cultists, it’s-- Christ, it’s hot, why is it so hot--

Heater’s broken, I expect.

[George gives a little burp. Class act, this one.]

But -- yeah, right. It’s...There are lots of reasons you can’t join cults, Annie. First. First, you’re only joining up because you’re in a...transitional point in your, in your life. And there’s nothing -- we still -- it’s really not...good, doing that just because you want...Erm--

[Yeah, he’s trying to remember what he gleaned about cults from having read Helter Skelter like three times in college. He’s not doing a great job.]

No, it’s...They’re just bad for you, is it. Werewolf cults. They’re never good.

Like any cults are good. They’re cults. If they were good, they’d-- not be cults, they’d be-- clubs. Girl Guides. [And like they didn’t just interrupt themselves, Mitchell returns to his previous concluding thought--] It’s no good tellin’ me the heater’s broken, this is-- this is space. Meant t’ be more technologically advanced, no landlords or breaking heaters. Just smiley faces and werewolf cults.

[George isn’t so drunk he can’t engage in a bit of sarcasm.] Well, that’s the explanation, Mitchell. It’s that or we’ve flown into a sun.

That’s not-- aah, shut up, would you. Cults. Talk about cults. They’re bad for you, brainwashing, all of it-- all of what you said, before--

Right. [Right.] Annie, we’re just...We’re worried about you, because the cultists, well, they’re, they’re bad on the face of it. And the others - there are others - the...You know the ones, Sherlock Holmes and the other one, they’ve - [His voice drops.] Annie, they’re not who they say they are. I’m about certain of it. [And a bit louder.] So this is an...an intervention, proper, like they do it on Intervention.

Not tellin’ you what t’ do. Just-- like on Intervention, yeah, but with less shouting and crying. Please let’s not do any crying, or-- pol… [Poltergeisting, but he loses momentum on the word about 25% of the way through.]

Pol-- [Oh, good, George has caught on and he’s here to help, and he is quite cognizant of the possibility of people hacking into this very private message, so he’s got a quick resolution to the word.] Pol...o matches. In the...the garden. Which is, which is how we-- we-- usually...work out...issues. [There. You’re welcome, Mitchell.]

Polo matches. [Even pissed, Mitchell can sound less-than-impressed with that. Wow, so cool. Polo matches.] Give me another beer, would you, I’m not going t’ discuss polo matches without more to drink.

All right-- [And the crack and hiss of a bottle of beer being opened, and he passes it to Mitchell. But yeah. Yeah. If anyone hacks this private message to Annie, their butts are covered.] Anyway. Annie. It’s...we’re...we’re doing this out of, of care. And worry. And...all that. Just...we are begging you, stop -- with the cults. No more cults. New house rule. No cults, no cultists. For anyone. I will not, not -- not be involved, and Mitchell won’t, and we can get Nina to sign off, too, I’m sure -- no more cults. Or we’ll, we’ll…

[Right, there are always consequences on Intervention if they don’t agree to cut out their bad behavior-- ]

No more cults, or we confiscate space Titanic. [This is serious. Serious consequences and serious threats.]

Right. [Good one.] And no more of the, the...hands-on-head thing. No more of that. So...Yeah. That’s - those are - that’s -- this is the, the trade.

[And that’s it. That’s the intervention.]





[Blue is George, red is Mitchell.]

I'm sure you must all see a lot've messages like this.

[ The man who appears is one who has appeared on the network before -- soft-faced and earnest, anxiety tested in the lines next to his eyes and a direct sort of stare that manages not to miss the tiny camera embedded in the device he's holding. Still, he smiles, just a little.

His address is slow and not exactly formal, just considered. ]

My name is Charles Xavier, and I'm newly arrived. You'll have to forgive me if I ask any questions you've heard before, though I'm doing my utmost to gather what I can on my own. I believe I've got the basic picture, although any advice is of course appreciated.

What I would most like to know is how many are here that had some sort of... [ He hesitates. ] ...gift. A natural ability of some kind, beyond the usual human faculties. A conversation would be of great interest to me.

Thank you.

Usually the ship goes quiet at some point, but since the Jump everyone's been bustling and out and about-

[And for the first time since she died she's been so tired]

-so I thought, maybe, I don't know, is there some soft music we can pipe through the speakers, you know, jazz or something, I don't know, something so everyone relaxes and for a while, honestly-

[She may be just talking, now. Really. What is this tired.]

Or, oh! I know! Does anyone have a copy of a John Grisham novel? That used to put me right to sleep...

[There is a very good reason for the lack of video for this particularly selfy-loving ghost. You're being spared something grave, but you'll have to trust the groaning voice as to why.]

Say you have a friend, and said friend made the creative and life enlightening decision to have a chocolate binging party--not that they're regretting it! Like I said, it was quite enriching. Would do it again in a heartbeat. I mean, my friend would, of course.

I just need to know out of innocent curiosity and all... For my friend's sake.

Is there a hangover remedy like thing for over-binging on chocolate?

[ Peter's not exactly thrilled to be appearing on film, like handing over his location to the FBI with bells on, and he's not out to try too hard to pretend that he is. But he's taken part in his fair share of interrogations (on both sides) and he can seat himself in front of a camera and look serious.... and entirely well-intentioned, hopefully. ]

I don't do bored. I've never actually done bored very well, but before all of you jump on me and say I should give it a week and there'll be something for me to do- [ he holds up a hand; talk to it. ] I'll save you the time. I believe you.

Absolute chaos and destruction - combined with space's every attempt at a science experiment - should definitely give people something to do. [ Peter talks almost entirely with his hands, gesturing unconsciously all about. ] Not sure i'd expect anything less, but hey, not judging anyone if they choose to keep out of the fray, either. But the rest of the time, in-between one horror movie plot and the next, i'm not capable of sitting around and acting like this is the next best thing to a vacation without the benefits of getting to relax. Even though I can find my fair share of things to do, they won't be accomplishing anything. And at the end of the day there's only so many card tricks I can practice.

[ yes, okay, he's getting on with it. ]

I know there's departments, and I know what most of them are for. [ ... he pauses for a second and then shakes his head. ] Okay, I probably don't know everything they do, and I want to change that. I want to know more. Not sure I know much about farming, i'll just fess up to that now, but what I really want to know, is which departments need the most help. What you're looking for, what I can do to make things easier. Holding down a job isn't exactly a specialty of mine either, but I still want to get involved as much as I just... [ tensing for a moment, he finally sighs. ] -I like a good challenge.

You want to know what I can do? Sure, fine. But i'm only showing you mine if you show me yours.

[ joe's not so much ill at ease on camera as he is just happier off, and the lack of desire to throw his metaphorical hat in to this particular ring bleeds through into his slumped posture. he's got his actual hat off and set to the side, because this calls for company manners which means your nicest flannel and no hat, as you do. ]

Name's Joe Davis, based outta Pernambuco. [ a beat. ] That's just about on the far edge of the farms on Pasiphae, right. [ since as it's been made abundantly clear, he's the only one who knows that sort of thing off-hand. ]

Nobody's wanted to tell me too much, but I get the sense something about this whole thing makes me look dangerous. And I understand that, and whatever questions you gotta ask I'm ready to answer them. [ in part because there's only one of him and a lot of everybody else and it's the smart call, but that can go unsaid. ] I guess I just wanted to say this is all new and confusing to me, too, and seeing as I'd rather not end up pistol whipped, if it's all the same to everybody-- [ yeah, dean, he saw that-- ] I figured maybe I'd make the first move, since it's seeming like maybe I've landed in a tight spot without meaning to here.

[ he looks down, rubbing at the back of his neck with a thumb, a little uncomfortable. ]

I'm not much for speeches, but it seemed like the thing to do-- think that's about it, anyway.

[ and with that, he's out. ]

[She sounds like every word is said with thought, intentionally, carefully. She still isn't sure everyone can hear her, that's all.]

Hello. My name is Annie, and I'm new onboard from the last Jump and I'd like to-

[Okay now she feels self-conscious]

Tea! I have tea! If anyone would like a cuppa, I have an extra mug as well, if you'd like to meet!

Are these conversations on this device usually this terrible to start?