I hate to interrupt you all, but I have a little question to ask. [ no, actually, ava's quite proud of herself for interrupting the Important Shit Going Down with the captain and the "suddenly jump 19 is missing" and the literal space cowboy, if her tone of voice is any indication. ] I've been—let's go with gifted a little present from home a couple of jumps ago, and I, honestly, would have been a lot happier without it. Unfortunately, our most recent visitors didn't exactly see fit to steal it, so I'm having to resort to this.

Does anyone actually want a wedding dress? 

[ she flips the camera off her face temporarily, pointing it at the… well, the top half of what is undeniably a wedding dress hanging from her closet door. it's real. promise. ]

It's an off-white silk-satin Vera Wang, size 12, from the fall 2032 collection; there's a full-length picture attached to this post just in case you want proof that it's real. If someone really does want it, you have 24 hours to claim it before I build a ritual bonfire and incinerate the damn thing, starting approximately—[ her eyes flick off-feed temporarily, checking the time on her communicator ]—now.

Attachment (1): someonetakethisstupidthing.jpg

[ joe's not so much ill at ease on camera as he is just happier off, and the lack of desire to throw his metaphorical hat in to this particular ring bleeds through into his slumped posture. he's got his actual hat off and set to the side, because this calls for company manners which means your nicest flannel and no hat, as you do. ]

Name's Joe Davis, based outta Pernambuco. [ a beat. ] That's just about on the far edge of the farms on Pasiphae, right. [ since as it's been made abundantly clear, he's the only one who knows that sort of thing off-hand. ]

Nobody's wanted to tell me too much, but I get the sense something about this whole thing makes me look dangerous. And I understand that, and whatever questions you gotta ask I'm ready to answer them. [ in part because there's only one of him and a lot of everybody else and it's the smart call, but that can go unsaid. ] I guess I just wanted to say this is all new and confusing to me, too, and seeing as I'd rather not end up pistol whipped, if it's all the same to everybody-- [ yeah, dean, he saw that-- ] I figured maybe I'd make the first move, since it's seeming like maybe I've landed in a tight spot without meaning to here.

[ he looks down, rubbing at the back of his neck with a thumb, a little uncomfortable. ]

I'm not much for speeches, but it seemed like the thing to do-- think that's about it, anyway.

[ and with that, he's out. ]

"The cure for boredom is curiosity.
There is no cure for curiosity."

[ neal's not quite back to his fighting weight, but he looks a whole lot better (and a whole lot less crazy, natch) than his last network outing.

he's also fussing with the cuffs on his devore, because you never go to battle without your best armor, right?

metaphorical, of course. ]

Wise words from a wise lady. [ and now with a slowy flip, he sets a fedora on his head and gives the camera a smile that's lovely lovely lovely and just a bit barbed. ] Résumé seemed apt, too, but a little dark given the occasion.

So, how was the month off, Tranquility? --and welcome to the new additions, of course. Watch out for Kardashians.

[ neal stop telling the ren faire kardashians are a horrible demon from your world, son, it's not as funny as you think.

also: one more hat flip because he can and we're out, tq. welcome back to the airwaves. ]