[Like the rest of you, this woman looks sleep deprived and possibly a little bit deranged. Her eyes are glassy, she seems a little fidgety, as though she's anxiously awaiting something. Anything. A few deep breaths, and she finally stops staring blankly forward and speaks.]

I have a very important question. Very. I'd appreciate any help you can provide.

[Another pause.]

What does "love" mean to you? And what does it feel like? Rapturous? Terrifying? It's a concept to me, nothing more. I've been curious, though. And now that we're all half-incapacitated and sharing things...

[Her attention span seems to weaken for a moment, and she looks away at the wall...]

Also, if anyone knows how to cook something manly, I'd like your help with that, as well.

[Text]

Will eating a burnt cake make you sick?

[Video]

[There is then a shot of the cake in question. You can see Chell in one of the kitchens as she arranges the screen to show off the burnt chocolate thing in a pan. Nope, doesn't look edible. She may try anyway. Because her cake.

No really this is important.]

All right, here's the thing.

[ "Here" is punctuated by one Jayne Cobb leaning forward and poking at the camera lens. ]

Lots of you are terrible shots. Since Wes is gone [ grumpy bastard; Jayne liked him anyway and will pour one out -- or drink it -- for him later ] that means no one's probably goin' around pointin' out that the gunnery crew'll teach ya how to be better shots or else make sure you stop touchin' weaponry 'cause we don't want to get shot in the ass.

Anyway. You want to learn to shoot an' take care of your gun, you let us know. That's me an' Ric an' Natasha an' Wichita. I got a few people who've asked me already, so I figured I'd extend the invitation out. Some of us can probably help ya with other weaponry, if ya ask nice. If one of them don't want to teach it... I don't know. Hit 'em until they say yes or until they knock y'out, whichever comes first.

[ And this is why no one should let Jayne anywhere near his communicator. ]

[It's his first time talking to everyone, and he's actually sleepy for once but he's not really acting it. Except to you know, be a little more grumpy then normal not that you can tell because he has his helmet on.]

Whoever taught a certain person how to only make green gelatin can you please teach her something else? She's smart, she can handle something more complex then that.

Or you know maybe things you can do with it. At least if you can't sleep it's something to do and I'll even see if I can do something for you in return for teaching her.

[Wait a minute he's forgetting something here...]

And if you've dealt with a woman who says she's a goddess I'm sorry.

[No he's not going to expand on why he's sorry he just is.]

Usually the ship goes quiet at some point, but since the Jump everyone's been bustling and out and about-

[And for the first time since she died she's been so tired]

-so I thought, maybe, I don't know, is there some soft music we can pipe through the speakers, you know, jazz or something, I don't know, something so everyone relaxes and for a while, honestly-

[She may be just talking, now. Really. What is this tired.]

Or, oh! I know! Does anyone have a copy of a John Grisham novel? That used to put me right to sleep...

[There's a moment of fumbling before Perion's frowning face pops up onto the screen. Things have been explained to her, but she's still pretty sure that this is a dream and any day now she'll wake up back in Arizona, tucked into her bed.

That would be really nice.

Also, sleep would be nice. This insomnia business is balls, but she's, again, chalking it up to spaaaaaaace. Like the nosebleeds. It's just pressure, right? ...Right?] Uh... Hello? Is this thing -- oh. [Yep, it's on. Okay, now that she's done making an idiot out of herself.]

I'm sorry, I don't really know what to say... Um. I'm Perion. I'm from Earth, if there's anyone else here that knows the planet. [Oh god, please let someone else here be from Earth.] I'm one of the new nurses and I suppose if you have any questions concerning your health, you can direct them to me. I'll do my best to help.

I really hope you'll all be okay, however. [That sounded kind of rude, oops. She adds:] Since we're all... here, I suppose, and I haven't heard very... nice things.

I, er, look forward to spending time on the ship and getting to work with everyone.

[It's very clear by the look on her face that she doesn't. This is not okay, this is not okay, this is not okay.

With a pause and another frown, she awkwardly ends the feed there, lacking anything else to add.

BEST FIRST IMPRESSION.]

[Seth has gotten about two hours of sleep in as many days, and he's getting super bored of laying face-down in bed trying to pass out. Also maybe slightly delirious from sleep deprivation but those are just details.

So instead he has settled for dragging everyone who looks at the Network down with him. He's sitting up when he starts the video, his hair is sticking out in all sorts of crazy directions and the fact that he's shooting from the shoulders up makes it obvious that he's bare-chested. Look, it's not his fault Werewolves are naturally allergic to shirts, okay?]

Does this spaceship ever land on planets? If it lands on a planet and there's nobody there, do we get to name it? I'd like to know where to formally submit my suggestions, because I'm thinking Sethtopia.

[For someone who is dead tired, he sure is disgustingly chipper. In fact, he practically bounces in place when he remembers to ask:]

Hey, are there any aliens here?