voice + text | 005

[handelaar]

[If it sounds like he's rattling off meeting notes… it's because that's exactly what he's doing. Sort of. He doesn't keep to the script too well. But the last time he did the PSA for the Gardens he was a dick, apparently, and not being a dick is important (apparently), so this time he's written it all out beforehand. Hey, he tried.]

Couple-a things about the Gardens.

One: If you want something specific from 'em, place an order here.

{attachment: Order Form.}

As soon as we have it, we can take it up to the specified passenger deck. Saves you time, saves us a huge goddamn headache when we go for somethin' and it's not there. There's also a sheet by the Garden entrance, so use it. Especially if ya want potatoes. [GLaDOS.]

Two: If you pick your own stuff, fill out that form too. Inventory.

Three: If y'don't want to deal with us and want your own plot, we got a section for that. Or you can grow it on the upper levels if you like dirt. Not our fault if somethin' happens to it, though. [A pause.] Not our fault if somethin' happens to it anyway. We're not security.

Four: Tell us if you throw your animal in here, before you throw your animal in here. It ain't a farm. We're not petsitters, either.

Five: Don't smoke near the chemicals. Or the filtration systems. Or the scrubbers. An' if you smoke filtered cigarettes, don't leave the butts on the ground.

Six: There's a few of us workin' down here. If you have questions, ask.

{attachment: AGR Staff Sheet.}

Seven: That list is a sign-up sheet too. Could use the help. And uh. We're not all assholes. One-a you nice ones should do the announcement, next time.




[So yeah. GO TEAM.]

Comments

text

[mutelunatic]

have to sign up again?

permavoice

[handelaar]

Guess so. [Uh.] Thought y'already did, though.

[ voice ]

[fourseasons]

Holland-san helps with the Gardens?

[There's just a bit of amusement on his face that can't be seen here. Mostly at that. Assholes comment. Was he admitting his roughness... Ah but he saw the gardens earlier and they were nice. He figured Holland would be fond of them.]

Are there many job opportunities here? Ah, something to keep busy with, I suppose I am asking...

permavoice

[handelaar]

Yeah...

[Japan, he hears that. Which is why he sounds so unsure about that "yeah" where he normally wouldn't.

But, where he wouldn't bother telling Hong Kong about the other jobs before, he can't help but be up-front with Japan.]

The ship's understaffed everywhere.

[video]

[birdhousesoul]

[One of you nice ones, hm?

Since he works in the gardens nowadays, Anders is a wee bit familiar with Ned and his bunny rabbit. Not very familiar, as Ned's taciturn and the bunny is not a cat, but enough to know about the bunny. And to determine the bunny's probably a better ambassador for the gardens than anyone currently working there, Anders included.]

What about Vice-Admiral Muffintail? Er, I mean Ludwig. He could do the announcement. With signs and things! And someone talking behind him, in a little rabbit voice.

[Yes, this is what Lodewijk has been dubbed by Anders. He has something like this in mind, but no graphic skills, alas.]

voice to video

[handelaar]

About -

[He switches to video just so he can get across how offended he is at that stupid-ass name. Vice-Admiral What? Lud-

the mic is assaulted with an explosion of huffs and curses and grumbles, all going to static for a few moments before, well, more curses and grumbles come through.]

His name ain't fuckin' Ludwig, ya moron! Call 'im - Vice whatever - don't call 'im Ludwig! Anything but Ludwig.

[Sorry what was the rest of that it got buried in huffy Germany-grudge.]

[text]

[testgasm]

asato says you have a rabbit

permavoice

[handelaar]

Yeah.

[The "and?" is implied.]

[video]

[dwellsonthe]

[Guess who hasn't gotten a hold of the other functions yet? This cat is who. So Netherlands, have a video full of perking ears and bright eyes, Bardo's pleased to hear there's some form of vegetation aboard this floating city at least.]

What sort of help do you need?

permavoice what's new

[handelaar]

[... okay, there's a really obvious pause, because. Cat person. But because he's a paranoid sort of bastard, he decides to ask the other catboys about it and focus on the now. And the now is recruiting.]

Depends on what y'know about gardening.

[andblockbuster]

You're intense about the strangest combination of things and I mean that as a compliment.

[ECONOMICS.

AND GARDENING.

AND WEED.]

[handelaar]

How is that a compliment.

[...also.]

You're in the science department, right.

voice.

[tofindthesun]

I thought you did rather well. [can you hear the mental clapping, ned.] Next time you need only ask, Master Netherlands.

[but do you really want to subject the ship to middle-earth speech metaphors.

...lengthy pause.]

...You have a-- rabbit?

fff I was hoping you'd show

[handelaar]

I -

[Wat. So he swallows down the "master" thing because after this long even his most insistent protests have gone unheeded. Master Netherlands it is. Even if it's weird as hell.]

Yeah. Didn't bring 'im around for a while, with the Myfanwy flappin' around.

[Video] I apologize for nothing grandpa

[genkigal]

I like guess this is what they call an obsession. Have you seen a medical professional about it, old man?

voice; as you shouldn't because it just got worse

[handelaar]

You always a little asshat? Don't remember it, but maybe China and England were too busy screechin' over you.

video;

[stimulations]

I'd be more than happy to, though in these particular circumstances, efficiency might be more important than 'niceness'.

voice;

[handelaar]

...


I got bitched out last time. [Awkward pause, there.] You'd prob'ly be better at it.

text;

[puppydogeyes]

Not security's job either.
Unless it's major damage.
Like we know fucking anything about plants.

permavoice

[handelaar]

Didn't say it was.

text;

[tumbleweeds]

you forgot "don't light things on fire"

also "don't shoot the tiger"

voice;

[handelaar]

First is obvious.

Second thing, s'dumb of you to sleep like - y'got shot?

voice;

[angerissues]

You should work out a volunteer sign-up sheet since those of us who are already working for another department can list their names, too. If it's necessary. [ Mason can't be part of both departments officially; apparently things don't work that way up here. ]

permavoice;

[handelaar]

Dunno if anyone would sign it. Not like y'get anything for helping. Officially.

[Netherlands could you not be a pessimist for five seconds.]

voice;

[jilt]

What a neatly arranged list. You should be commended.

permavoice;

[handelaar]

Is that sarcasm.

[How offended should he be, here. Because right now he simply sounds guarded.]

voice;;

[throwsdown]

Do you have things like apples and grapes?

[shut up this is the most important thing]

I can't write anything. But can I come get some?

voice right back!

[handelaar]

We can, yeah.

[Wait





Wait

Wait wait.]

Why not.

NOT HERE

[still_alive]

[Sorry Ned, but guess who totally skips over this post in the feed because anything about the Oxygen Gardens pretty much bores her to death?

GLaDOS.]

GDI

[handelaar]

[Well, good. Sort of.

Good in that she can't watch them all trash-talk her. Bad in that she still doesn't know the rules.]

text. (latest of the late)

[verylittlesugar]

I would like to return to the work I was to do before I left, if I may, please.

voice; nah don't worry I've been sick all week anyway

[handelaar]

'Course you can.

[Does he ever sound pleased.]

There's a couple-a people who do it part-time - one of 'em is sick. You should prob'ly teach 'em. Both of 'em work in different departments.

[And with that he texts her both Mason's (003 » 062) and Murphy's (006 » 073) numbers.]