_{[ There's a bit of fuzziness-- chattering-- like a conversation between two people. One has a high pitched voice and seems to be dropping the F-bomb with indescribable chatter, and the other is entirely too loud. Way, way too loud. There is a bright light, and then, two red eyes belonging to an alien creature peer into the communication device-- and then, the loud voice is heard again-- ]}

Dude! What in the name of Liberty's lingerie do you think you're doing! This is like hardcore stuff, like, super way cool hardcore stuff probably seen right out of the X-Files! Tony, my number one man, don't you drop that! Give me that!

_{[ The device it jerked from the alien creature, who doesn't seem pleased with this at all. We now see a set of blue eyes and glasses with blonde hair--
aaaaaand. He's panicking.
Of course America was going to to jump to the cellular device and post to the network before anyone else are you kidding me-- ]}

Okay! OKAY! Like, I need all of my back up ASAP here pronto! We've been kidnapped-- okay, no, actually, this is like--

_{[ He pants, looking around. There is still a good amount of blue goop on his face and good lord America get dressed you're still in your star and striped underwear. ]}

OKAY YOU KNOW HOW YOU'RE LIKE MINDING YOUR OWN BIZWHACK AND SUDDENLY YOU GET THAT WEIRD SINKING FEELING IN YOUR BODY LIKE DEJA VU LIKE FREAKY WEIRD DEJA-VU, Yeah, man, TOTALLY getting that feeling and it's freakin' me out, man! Holy SHIT, this is bad! I was just jamming to Katy Perry like a boss and then I think I fell asleep on a bunch of like important government papers or something that I was supposed to do-- who gives a crap that's not serious right now-- I--

_{[ A BREATH!!!! Slow down, America! You talk like a thousand miles. And he does slow down, becoming a bit more coherent. ]}

--I-- think I've been here before, but I don't know--! What if somebody erased my brain like outta some sci-fi movie and put weird memories back in and now I'm going to be pregnant with alien children or something mondo-crazy like WHOA-- uhh-- hey! Can anybody even hear me? This isn't like an Apple product or anything I don't think so I hope I'm using it right--

Yo, uhh, France! China! Canadia! Even England-- and I guess Russia-- ANYBODY! What the hell is going on?

_{[ Welcome back, America. Your memories of this place will gradually come to mind-- but here you are-- impulsively reacting without thinking as usual. Here's a permission post for 4th walling. ]}

<sub>[ Korea is a smart enough cookie to catch onto the device and how it operates just fine. I mean, he was labeled one of the smartest countries in the world.

There's your audio post and your video post and your texting and etc. He just is confused as to why it isn't in Korean, or why nothing else was written in Korean. I mean, this was a Korean ship. It had to be! Only something this extraordinary could be invented in Korea. Anyhow, he's in his dorm and in his body suit, though he found the design rather lacking in taste. He doesn't seem to scared or freaked out about these circumstances as he usual would be. He waves to the camera, putting on a rather dazzling smile that one could easily mistake for Byung Hun Lee, but in any case.

He seems rather charming at first, but wait until he opens his mouth. ]</sub>
Anneyonghaseyo! Ahh, I understand not all passengers on this craft are capable of communicating in Korean so I will speak English the best way I can.
I do not know how I got here or where I am going but I trust the Korean craft. Perhaps it is taking us to Hyundai planet!!
I am finally in space just like America! I will be the first to eat kimchi on the moon!

Ah, neh, yes. There is one matter though..
I am questioning whether or not you have seen my brothers! I will send you an XXX rated image of accuracy! They go by Honda Kiku and Yao Wang.
Also, HK, but he isn't really that important! If sissy were here, that would be wonderful thing indeed!
Here is the detailed sketch I drew in under 5 minutes! I hope it is good enough!

_{[ Then, he texts the rest of the information. ]}

( text under cut )

[ Behold! On your screen is a whole plastic box-case thing of Reese's minis, the gold foil wrappers of each bite-sized piece winking in the horrible eye-blinding indoor lights of the ship. There's actually a reason for Isaac to be taking a video of an incredibly boring thing, though. ]



I found these in my locker after the jump. It's well over ten pounds of Reese's minis and is seriously too much candy for one person, so I'm giving a pound of these to the first couple people willing to sing Rolling in The Deep on the public network. [ No, really. He means it. ] And is there anyone on the ship who is Canadian and can play hockey and/or lacrosse? I've got my lacrosse stick and three balls to shoot, but not enough gear to really play. Or have anyone to play against.

[ There's also another thing, but it's slightly less boring. It's also a bit tricky, since it involves the monthly fur problem. ]

I'm also thinking of camping out on the gardens for a couple days, are the gardens back to being mostly safe again?

[HELLO, EVERYONE. Nice and trauma-filled from that horrible vacation?

Haymitch isn't here to make it better.]

Judging by all the unhappy faces, I take it didn't go well down there. Maybe next time you'll take a lesson from those of us who were smart enough to stay behind. Might not be the best place, but at least we know the ship wants to kill us all. [Snicker.

Annnd there's a pause, because while he knows Peeta's gone, because he hasn't checked in, and that stings after losing Katniss, (and with Finnick and Annie in bad shape) shock of shocks, he has other people he cares about.]

Anyone happen to notice a little girl tagging along down there? Goes by Mattie Ross. She'd be the one with braids, preaching justice to the locals and making a damned fool of herself. Hard to miss her. 

[Filtered away from Annie and Finnick; 50% Encrypted]

[AND NOW HAYMITCH GETS TO BE AWKWARD.]

Don't know which one of you yanked Annie Cresta out of all that, but it's appreciated. Finnick's in no state to thank you, himself, so I'll save him the trouble. 

[Filtered to Jack Sparrow and Russia; 50% Encrypted]

All right, talk. I know at least one of you went down there and both of you can't be in as bad a shape as the rest of them. How bad was it?

[ The video is switched on, yeah, but there's complete darkness right now on the screen. Silence too, except- the scrape of something like wood against steel floors.

Then a click. Smokers, you should know this sound. A lighter. Then there's the crackle of burning paper. An exhale.

When the voice finally comes, it's dry, more than a little taunting, and very, very Russian. ]

Looked through this. [ A tap on the side of the comm. ] Think I've got list now.

Idiots. [ Tap. ] Show-offs. [ Tap. ] Strange fuckers from past. [ Tap. ] People making PSAs. [ Tap. ] Corpses. [ Tap. ]

Thought space would be more interesting. Looks like people never change. Still can bleed. [ Completely, utterly casual. ]

[ Another soft click. He tips the comm over. There's just a glance of his right hand, with the Russian north inked to the back. Then he switches hand, smoke trailing over his fingers- but it doesn't obscure the symbol of St. Petersburg on his fourth finger or the three dots below the thumb. Or the other two symbols on his forefinger and pinkie. He lets the camera linger slowly on the tattoos before he reaches out with the St. Petersburg finger and tips the camera further up.

If there's anyone who looks less like Aragorn when he has the same face, it's this man. ]

Anyone else on this ship? [ Beat, and he smiles. With teeth. ] Not me. [ Oh yes, he knows he's showing off. ]

As pointed out in a recent transmission, there are some individuals here who resemble one another. There are others whose worlds are similar to others', while others still have worlds that differ radically.

The following is a survey designed to attempt to determine whose worlds are most similar to whose. As a full disclaimer, I am not a trained sociologist/demographist, nor do I claim to be. My credentials extend no further than merely dabbling in disciplines related to those and having studied the science of writing the census briefly when I was younger. Nevertheless, I believe this may be a useful diagnostic tool.

I would encourage everyone who sees this to take a look at others' responses. If you see something familiar, please discuss with the other individual what that similarity is; from there, please try to determine just how similar/different your worlds are.

This is completely optional.

( The survey can be found after this break in the text. )

[While it sucked to sit in his room, useless and feeling worse by the hour, he wasn't an idiot. He was feeling worse by the hour. It was obvious that if he tagged along on some creepy sadist's idea of a quest, it would only hinder the effort.

By the time he felt shitty enough to haul himself to Medbay, though, a problem he hadn't thought of presented itself: rabbits require delicate handling. He might be fine with falling into walls and doors (and floors), but Lodewijk might not live through the same.

So it's a weary, feverish, blue-tinged Netherlands who appears on the screen.]

I need someone who ain't sick to carry Lode - my rabbit. Down to Medbay.

[With that the view whirls around to show a small, sleeping rabbit curled up at the foot of the bed, and then the feed cuts off, replaced by text.]

Use text. Hearing is fucked up

( To Russia, Asato, all of AGRICULTURE: )

[ It's the third day that passengers aboard the Tranquility have shown up in medbay with symptoms of some kind of illness. Taken individually, none of them have appeared life-threatening -- physical weakness, loss of coordination, nausea and a mild fever, some ringing in the ears. Things that could be attributed to any number of minor ailments.

When they started presenting with a blue tint to the eyes, lips and nails, that got the medical staff more worried. When someone put it all together and realized that the symptoms all seemed to be linked...well that has the earmarks of an epidemic.

How McCoy ended up with the task of making a general announcement he's not certain, but maybe everyone figures his general doom-and-gloom attitude when it comes to space travel will convey the sense that it's probably not as bad as it sounds, more so than if it came from someone less prone to pronouncements about how they're all likely to die out here.

When the video begins transmitting, it shows him in his blue Starfleet uniform, the wall of the medbay behind him. He isn't smiling, but he isn't looking too worried either. Those who've served with him, however, might recognize that he's wearing his 'CMO' demeanor. ]

I'd like your attention, please. My name is Dr. Leonard McCoy, and I'm one of your medical staff. It's come to our attention down here that there may be some kind of virus makin' the rounds. Before you all start to panic, it doesn't look serious, but it would help us come up with a treatment if anyone exhibiting the following symptoms would kindly stop by for a check-up.

The symptoms are a general weakness or loss of coordination, nausea, fever, ringing in your ears. You may notice a blue tint to your lips, eyes, or fingernails. If you find you have any of these symptoms, get yourself down to the medbay. Could turn out to be nothing, but better safe than sorry.



[ The public transmission ends, but it's followed by two filtered transmissions. ]

( Filter to Medical Staff + Betty Ross + Sue Storm + Aragorn | MED Filter 80% )

( Filter to Enterprise | McCoy Encryption 80% )



[OOC NOTES: Any of the people currently listed as being on medical staff are more than welcome to threadjack here. At this point, although there may be suspicions and conjecture on the part of the medbay staff, no one has pinpointed a specific cause of the symptoms.

Medical Types: If you're not on the medical staff list or specifically named by McCoy, but you have medical/science skills you want to contribute, please feel free to respond to the general transmission and make an offer. He'll add you to the filter.

Enterprise Crew: Feel free to up Bones' encryption if your skills are better, which most of them probably are. ;) ]

Right.

[Good day, good night, good afternoon Tranquility! If you haven't noticed him stealing rum in every single one of the kitchens yet (Yes, I'm quite serious. After each jump, he steals the rum. As of now, there is a suspicious lack of rum in the kitchens), well, he's on your feed now! Yes, that's right, a real life pirate with dreadlocks and trinkets out of the wazoo is staring back at you.]

So, it seems like between jumps, I've missed a whole lot of...

[He waves a hand.]

...happenings. I've found meself with no knowledge of what between blue-alien man [That'd be you, Megamind.] failed t'take over the ship and now.

So. Who's still here, and what've I to make up for?

[And with that being said, Jack will reach to the side to grab a bottle of rum, take out the cork with his teeth, and then take a long, long drink of his precious rum.]

At least I've still got me rum.

[He will now... proceed to struggle to end the feed. Which button was this again--]

 [In a sea of panic, in a sea of blind finger-pointing, and mystery-solving, and hackers hacking, and people screaming, and red text being creepy.

There is one man

who still believes

in alcohol.

Which is to say that Haymitch has limped his way to the kitchen, found himself some vodka and poured himself a drink. Not that you can see this if you're just listening in on the network, hunting down any clues. But if you wanted a cryptic message.

Well. You're getting one.]

Waste of time.

[Panem Filter]

Any of you still alive?

[ Chase does not look comfortable. Not spooked, per se, but when the video flickers on the little girl looks tired. Less burdened and more concerned.

This is something she genuinely doesn't know the answer to. ]

Hello, everyone--I regret to be the one to point this out.

[ A beat--she's worryingly playing with the paper bow tie she's made ever since the Doctor disappeared, and with a lick of her lips she's speaking again, eyes darting down to something on her lap. ]

It's funny. This list--it's amused. Laughing at us. I don't--I don't like it. And that's not everyone on the list. It's a fraction of it.

But the laughter. It's ringing in my ears and they're so, so, giddy.

[ when the video feed begins, asa is apparently deep in the oxygen garden, dressed in the clothing he arrived from his world with. his little black antlers have been wrapped in ribbon and pretty silver charms that chime when he moves his head, and there's a vine covered in unusual bright orange flowers that seems to be growing around his fingers. it's weaved between them, the flowers opening slowly as he finds a tree-limb for it to cling to instead.

he glances back at the video, then, smile a little breathless as he pushes his hair back from his face. ]

The gardens are really very pretty for a-- a spaceship. I.. [ a small, embarrassed twitch, burying his hands in the hem of his tunic self-consciously. ] It made me think, though, that.. this is the only place on the ship that-- that seems to have anything growing. And.. um. I know it's only a little thing, but.. if anyone's interested, I think I could set up little indoor gardens for the rooms. I.. have an extremely green thumb.

[ his hands go white-knuckled, self-conscious as he glances down, away from the camera. ] It's.. nice, not having to.. to be ashamed of-- [ he trails off, then blushes, shaking his head. ] Well, nevermind.

[ he reaches up, then, turning the feed off. ]

[ the video is shaking when it comes on, a view of the ceiling, the walls, and finally a face as its owner props it up somewhere to hide trembling hands. the figure in the feed is a rather pretty redhead whose gender isn't immediately apparent, with wide gold animal-like eyes, deer-like ears, and a small set of jet-black antlers curving back from the hairline. ]

I-- H-Hello, I-- [ a pause, throat working, and he passes the back of one long-fingered hand over his brow, shaking and trying in vain to control it.

after a moment, he takes a deep breath, tries again. ]

Hello. My name is Asa. I-- [ he worries at his lower lip, an ear flicking as if catching a sound somewhere beyond his room. ] I don't.. really know all that well what's.. going on, but-- but I'm looking for some people. [ if he's been kidnapped for what he is, then he can't really expect his friends to be there--other than perhaps his brother--but it can't hurt to ask for them. ]

There would.. be a very tall man. I guess-- I guess he's almost eight feet? He'd have gold eyes like mine, but his hair's black and he answers to Heartwine. And.. a-- a blond girl with the nicest voice you've ever heard, and a guy around my age who looks like a sky full of stars, and.. a.. tall.. blue person with fins.

[ he offers a polite nod. ] .. Thank you. [ and ends the feed. ]

[ Video feed clicks on and shows America, looking rather heathy and munching on some sort of space chips or something. Who knows.
Tony is around too, popping in an out in the background of the video, occasionally making little cooing sounds and swearing. With a salute and wink, he begins to speak: ]

HEY GUYS, IT'S AMERICA.
OKAY!!!
Since like EVERYBODY for the most part is all honky-dory here, this has crossed my mind SEVERAL times. Like even if my priority task list is TOTALLY IMPORTANT, you know the back up plan that I made a few weeks ago, I was thinking more about like a judicial system here. It came up in a conversation I had with the Frenchie, but I don't think he really gives a shit cause he's French and they're known to do that... you know, give a shit about nothing and just go on strikes.
So!!
Thoughts, people? Should another fiasco arise, what are we going to do about it, huh? How should we find people guilty as charged and punish them?  Has anybody talked about this and I've missed out? Cause that ain't cool, cats and dogs.
I mean, it's really important people going nutsy here are punished! So there needs to be like.. a band of KICKASS AWESOME POLICE FORCE PEOPLE.

HELL. FUCKING. YES.

[ He clears his throat then runs a hand through his hair. Taking in a breath, he speaks with a little more seriousness. He doesn't bother to filter, just talk. ]

Also... if you're a nation, do you mind telling me if you're still here or not? That'd be, uh, nice.
So, HEADCOUNT:
Communist dickwad! Creepy Frenchman! Sexy Belarussian! Bat-shit Hungarian! Dickbuddy Austrian! Dutch Stoner! Anybody else!
Oh, and uh.. Canadia too I guess.

Good morning, Tranquility.

For those of you who don't know me, I'm Doctor John Watson. I, along with a handful of others, represent your medical staff.

Everyone's aware that there's been a recent incident due to the, ehm, machinations of a passenger trying to seize control of the ship.

[ There's a brief tightening of his lips, but he continues on. ]

There were quite a few serious injuries, but I'm happy to assure you that no casualties have occurred.

However, I do feel the need to tell you that we have a problem here in the medbay.

The passenger in question was a non-human individual, and as such had some special needs to be fulfilled. However, we did not have these things on file because the patient didn't feel they ought to inform the medbay of their conditions and did not come in for screening, despite repeated requests over the network and within the new arrival letter. We very nearly lost them.

[ Straightening, tilting his chin up somewhat, jaw flexing before he addresses the feed with some levity. ]

Medbay is here to provide for all passengers in need, not just those that are human. We do not discriminate between any race, creed, or species. All that matters is that you are being provided the best possible care and, to do that, we need to be informed of any and all differences in your biology. We can get this by a simple, painless screening at your leisure or by a simple questionaire, for those of you who are already familiar with the difference between yourself and a human.

Health records are completely private and may only be accessed by the medical staff. It's really important that we be informed of any known health conditions in humans as well. I know some of you out there have been avoiding disclosing any facts about yourself either due to... shame or paranoia or just bad experiences with doctors, and that is natural. However, I'm asking you to consider the alternative: that in a state of emergency, we cannot assist you to the best of our abilities, and that your chances of surviving anything major are slim to none. We have powerful technology and we're all very capable, but we're not infallible.

This was a scare for all of us. While we can make steps toward making sure this never happens again, we also need to plan for the possibility of another crisis scenario.

I'm attaching a form to this message. Anyone who wishes to avoid speaking to doctors need only fill it out and send it to me, 001 - 197. I will put it into the medical archives and erase my device of it after.

[ medical.txt ]

( More Information )

[There is a blue man in dramatic lighting. Bedecked as befits a comic book villain. A heavy mantle defines his shoulders, spikes all across it, an arching collar framing his slender neck and large head. A body suit, where the start of his trademark blue lightning bolt starts it's path down across his body.]

[He sits somewhere, in what appears to be some sort of strange mess of wires, panels and montors, all ablink with light and readings.]

CAPTIVES OF THE TRANQUILITY.

I an Megamind, and-- I am now in control of the ship.

[A gesture, and the power flickers for a moment.]

You have thirty minutes to surrender, or I will handle any further insurrection with harm to my hostages, Dr. Jane Foster and Miss Roxanen Ritchi. Where are they, you've been wondering. Hard at work? Lost to the warp?

No, no no. They've been in my tender care. [Obligatory, rolling villainous chuckle; confident in his smugness.] All this time.

You are to head straight to the med bay and engage your grav couches. Any resistance will be met with force. I have measures in place to protect myself -- do not test my patience, captives!

I am doing you all a favor. I'm not pretending to be your friend while assembling a team of close operatives to insinuate into key positions like the good Captain Kirk is while suggesting that we let someone feed on you, nor am I silent like Ward and Resnik in the depths of the ship. I'm giving you what the captain must: Someone to hate, while he does something no one else would:

Act!

No, go to the med bay! It's the only clear path you'll have. Any other places will be met with resistance... And I don't want to have to start destroying important facilities to cow you into submission, either.

But I will.

[He rises, flourishes.]

Thirty minutes. Grav couches. Don't squander it.