[Video cuts on a little erratically, a rather loud sound of giggling heard before the video calms down and the screen focused on Hungary with a rather perhaps familiar bottle lying at her side and a shot glass clutched in her hand.

Once she realizes it's going she coughs a little, smiling but trying not to go back to her little giggling fit. No, no she didn't just raid the alcohol for a time out of her mind, what are you talking about. Except that she kind of did and considering the bottle is more than half-empty and there's a few others around... well.]

You know! I haven't properly introduced myself to you new people yet, that's a shame.

[She pauses for a moment, taking down the shot in her hand before continuing. A proper role model she is, clearly.]

And I may as well. I'm Hungary, yes, the country, and I've been here as long as the others from the first go-around. And, by the way, boys and girls, you aren't allowed to touch this. I know I'm irresistible, but I don't think my boy-... ex-husband would much appreciate you doing so. Unless you want to talk it over with him, I'm sure he wouldn't mind too terribly much if you asked nicely.

Though beware, we do tend to cause bruises and bleeding even when having fun, so you have to have an absolutely tough constitution to keep up~

I may as well do a little bit of explaining, too. The other countries around here that you need to be wary about... You have Russia who's a communist asshole and thinks the world belongs to him, America who never shuts up and thinks he owns the world more, and Belarus who is a total crazy bitch who wants to fuck her brother Russia. Just a friendly notice~

If you have any more questions, feel free to ask. I'm feeling quite chatty today.

Hello? Is this contraption working? I -- ah, alright, it seems to be recording.

Do forgive me if I'm still a little confused, but you see, this is a little beyond my realm of expertise; and that, in itself is new to me! So, a question, if someone would be so kind...

Where am I, exactly?

[backdated to yesterday, by the by!]

[ GOOD DAY TRANQUILITY. The screen flickers on to show a rather attractive albeit very naked Frenchman holding up one of the standard issue jumpsuits. ]

All right. Fine, I am obviously far away from home. I cannot feel the strong connection to my people, and the air tastes like metal. That is not my biggest concern. My biggest concern, to whomever put me here, is what am I to do with these? [ He shakes the jumpsuit in his hand, the material flopping over his wrist. ]

I will not wear it. I can not wear it. The colour is agreeable but the general design? It is worse than someone Chine would come up with. [ The jumpsuit is dropped and the video is moved to offer a little decency. At least now, the current inhabitants of the ship can only see him from the extremely hairy chest up. ]

So then, my question is this: is there any material in this place I may use to craft a new outfit? I will not wear clothes until then. [ And then a smile, a brilliant smile, one he's practiced many times and seems to walk the border of charming and creepy. ]

Aaa, and I should introduce myself, to any and all who may be listening: I am France, the country of romance, of love, of desire. I like to go on strike and make food for people! Perhaps if one of you would help me, I could help you in return? [ He doesn't really know how to use technology, so after a bit of fumbling and him jabbing at random things, the video finally ceases. ]

[the video begins with a bit of jostling as the figure in the background works to get his tablet steady. some might recognize him as the man in the background of this previous post - while some might not recognize him at all. he hasn't introduced himself as formally as his teammate.

he clears his throat, opens his mouth to speak.] I think I've been here long enough that it's going to be considered rude if I don't introduce myself. [there's a small chuckle. going for humor, north?] I've never been much for formalities, but for the sake of ease, I'm Freelancer Agent North Dakota - one of the Tranquility's newly-appointed security officers. Just .. call me North.

[there's another pause, and he looks off to the side before bringing his gaze back to the camera.] It's come to my attention that most of you that have been brought here are civilians; and while no one has encountered anything that can pose as a threat just yet, it's been mentioned that should the need arise, we're going to need to know how to protect ourselves. If anyone aboard this ship is interested, Agent Carolina and I - as well as the other security officers - are opting to begin holding training sessions for those of you that want to learn a few things. It never hurts to be prepared, right?

All of the specifics haven't been worked out just yet, but as for a general outline, you'll be learning basic self-defense as well as some general combat tactics. Hand-to-hand, that sort of thing. [military training is a go, here, people.] If you're interested, feel free to get in touch with me any time and we can start trying to set things up.

[Greetings, Tranquility passengers. It's your resident 51st century flirt, Captain Jack Harkness, and just from the video, with the broad white smile and the twinkle in his very blue eyes, it's obvious that he's laying on the charm. He's looking for answers, and he knows that he can pretty much flirt them out of anyone if he tries hard enough, so that's exactly what he's going to do]

So. We're stuck on a ship. How many of you out there have gone exploring so far? What have you found? I think we're pretty much all aware of the stasis tubes and the passenger's quarters, but what else is there out there on the ship? It's not like there's a map or a guide or anything. And for those of you who're interested... Anyone wanna go exploring? It could be fun. You know, you and me. We'll have ourselves an adventure.

Speaking of passengers quarters, by the way, I don't know about the rest of you, but as much as I love the setup, I'd give an arm and a leg for a private bathroom. [He makes a face as if whoever designed the ship is listening] I'm just saying...

_{[ Hi Tranquility. Are you ready dor a mouthfull? Cause you're getting it. Feed clicks on to show America, apparently just out of his jumpsuit and in his boxers. He's just seated on his bed, hair tousled a bit, evidently not very concerned about his appearance even though he's addressing who knows how many people. He's too lazy to get up. He's eating out of a bag of chips that he found aboard the ship when exploring the facilities; that is what he spent all day doing.
Giving the communicator a bit of a salute, he says something incoherent with his mouth full before flashing a grin. ]}

HEEEEEY YOU GUYS. EVENING, DUDES, THIS IS YOUR HERO SPEAKING. GOT SOME IMPORTANT TO SAY. You better listen up, I've also got a surprise for you all! _{[ He adjusts his posture, throat clearing. ]}

Hahaha, righto! SO! If you are unfamiliar with EARTH, or whatever, I've been awesomely awesome as usual and drew myself a map for you dudes so you can understand the very, VERY, important things about the Earth I've graciously drawn out for you. Yeah, I'm a nice guy! Hahahaaha! So, here we go! It looks something like THIS, are you ready?? Tony, bro, if you will please!

_{[ A little grey alien jumps into view, holding up a piece of paper which looks like this: ]}

( Cut for stereotypes )

HAHAA. RIGHT, so that totally accurate cause I drew it! Everything circled is MINE, and I pointed out my dick cause it has the HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH! This is for you slackers that didn't pay attention to American geography class for whatever reason!! Hahaha, so! On the subject of my dick, _{[ pointing to the map as he say all of this ]} I'll just segway as to why THIS IS MY DICK. If you don't know what the shit I'm talking about, I'M GONNA EXPLAIN. _{[ A brief pause to stuff some chips in his mouth and he speaks, lips smacking before swallowing. ]}

( Cut for large-ass shitty explanation!! )

[ It wasn’t the first time she’d been confused over her identity, though this was the first time she had woken up in her underwear in a tube of goo. At least, from what she could remember… Hell, she didn’t remember large chunks of time, but she hoped this wasn’t some taboo hobby lurking in the weeds.
 
She just knew that the sight of the number tattooed on her arm had given her the chills that she had done her best to suppress for more pressing matters. Clothes, mainly. Things were slipping back into place slowly; enough that she could tell whatever had happened was troubling…
 
The lockers had caught her eye, namely when she saw the 025 that matched the number on her arm, opening it to find items that were mainly sentimental; a few books, an elastic or two… and blades to match. She’d slipped into the suit and slipped the blades away. If anything those were familiar.
 
When the screen flickers on there is a pretty – well, paranoid looking blonde on the other side. She’s not quuuuuuiiiiite remembered that ‘line’ is the only face she allows most of the time, though bluntness has not evaded her yet!]
 
If there is anyone here that can point me in the direction of an obnoxious blond child I would be appreciating it. He is having a hero complex and lacks the ability to speak over a shout… [chewing on her cheek, she straightens; the bare but familiar walls of a sleeping quarters providing the setting for this witch hunt. She seems to reconsider, then:] This STINKS of him.
 
[And now it’s directed at America, because she knows you, you little ass – she can sense yoooooou. Eyes narrowed and she looks downright mean for such a pretty girl] I do not appreciate lacking certain things, Amerika. Clothing... Memories. Nyet, I do remember most of it, enough to know that you mess everything up so this must be your fault. The least you could be doing is directing me to where you rudely put my brother and sister!
 
[now it’s open access once more – which is disappointing because she’s slipped in to looking mildly concerned, skin turning a rather ashen tone] Is there anyone out there at all? [Shh, she has an issue with being alone. Quietly. Stiffening her posture, she seemed to collect the stray scraps of whatever emotion had been displayed before, expression falling into a practiced blank slate, her voice matching. Ah, better.]
 
Whoever is doing this must be found. This ship [as she’d assumed it wasn’t some Hollywood set] is hardly looking safe and is NOT home. This is nothing more than petty kidnapping and you are a coward.
 
[There may have been a few slurs in there, in Russian – to save the kids’ virgin ears, I’m sure. She’s not someone you want angry toward you, though as there are only what, two actual crewmembers anything she COULD do is pretty useless. Good thing she doesn’t know that yet.]

( Narration. )

[Sup, Tranquility. Today we bring you the eerie but oddly soothing sounds of an old, old man. Doesn't he look silly with that cravat on over his jumpsuit.]

So it would seem that not all of us are human. How curious that you should all be so open about it... One has to wonder what sort of worlds you were all transported from. I have had more than a passing interest in the idea of traveling between worlds.

[More like he's devoted HIS ENTIRE LIFE to doing it, and most of it trying to get back home.]

Tell me. Do any of you non-humans possess any supernatural abilities? I wonder if perhaps they could be of use in our current situation.

...Ah. I nearly forgot. My name is Alexander. These devices are not my usual style of communication... I look forward to being able to meet you all face-to-face whenever possible.

[GREETINGS, NETWORK. Some loser's got his coke-bottle lenses way too close to the camera. Back up, bro, you're fogging the screen, and that is gross.

Turns out he's just trying to make the device stay upright. After a few moments, success! Wheatley (who looks extremely nervous) takes a step away, hovering over the communicator as if he expects it to fall, like it did the past seventeen times.

He is not wearing any clothes.]

Hello! If anyone is there and I'm not just--not just talking to this little black box, which, by the way, could stand to be a little clearer in the "what does this button do" department...

Not that I had any trouble figuring it out. Fiddled around for a bit, and boom, there we go, video feed on. Not a problem. But, you know. Instructions. Just in case anyone's a little...technologically impaired. Couldn't hurt.

[Wait. Where was he?]

Right! Uh…show of hands, if you would, seeing as we've all got hands now. Who's an AI? That's Artificial Intelligence for the aforementioned technologically impaired. Robots count too, I am also a robot.

And--and I know what you humans are thinking; Wheatley, you're not a robot, you're squishy and inefficient just like the rest of us but that, humans, is where you're wrong. One hundred percent robot, right here, just as soon as I get my body back.

Point is, if you see someone in an orange jumpsuit or...or a lab coat, maybe hear them talking about Science or Apertures, or some combination of the two…go ahead and let them know that Wheatley's looking for them and also that...it is important.

[A small pause as he fidgets, suddenly looking that much more uncomfortable.]

Actually. Don't tell them that. Tell me, instead! If--if you meet anyone with that description and. I will go. Find them.