ataraxion | Case File #004: The Turkey Problem

YOU LOST HIM AGAIN? WOW. NO. good thing i didn't have any plans to leave my room tonight!!!!

you're aware she's not even half your size.

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Someone else gets to chase after it this time.

[NEVER AGAIN.]

But you were such a good turkey chaser.

y'know, for a stripper cop thing

not here

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totally not

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not even here just aksjhakdshdkajds

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not even remotely here

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noooope but he's laughing anyways

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text; THIS IS HERE

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and yet it's my understanding you had such a good hand in it the time previous.

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seriously, she isn't here.

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she's not here either

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...that a weird sex thing?

[ HIIIII HOLMES ]

Now I won't have you spread such rumors of Rockefeller's alleged infidelity. She's happily married, I'll have you know.

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[Slow. Clap.]

Who's up for turkey dinner?

[ hey hang on!! ]

Americans.

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Come take the dog for a walk whilst you're searching.
SH

the rules distinctly detailed your being in charge of any and all exercise and bathroom regimes whilst in control of gladstone.

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I'm sure Detective Blake could find it for you.
I heard he was rather good at it last time.

the good detective seems to have put his turkey-rallying days behind him. a pity, he was quite good at it.

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text | cat-crypt (awe sherlock, you suck at encryption but you tried)

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text | cat-crypt (HE TRIED REALLY HARD goldstar.jpeg)

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not here nope

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tra lala still not here

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At this rate I feel like I might need to loan you a leash for it.

[ Irene. ]

[ - Irene. ]

not without exact detailings of its previous whereabouts, i should think.

[ Because, you know, hygiene is top of his lists. ]

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Check with Wichita or Simon, it apparently has a thing for them.

Can't help it if the chicks dig me?

[BAD PUN IS BAD but hey at least it's a lady turkey. It'd be kinda gay, otherwise]

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Maybe the giant dog ate it.

[ The giant - ]

oh, that one's new.

...not if it knows what's good for it!

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It should be pretty close to Thanksgiving...

rockefeller was not bred for a mere delicacy!

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[ ... the hell. wow, where has she been??? ]

Hang on. A living one? Where did you even find it?!

a friend from home! misplaced aboard the ship as so many others.

it's a mystery to me how she survived that jump, if i'm quite honest.

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I've shot it. Sorry, old chap.

[ He wishes. ]

[ !!!!!!! D:!!! WHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTT MAROONIE WICHITA TOLD YOU NO YOU ARE THE WORST OH MY GOD SHE FEELS REALLY BAD ]

yeah well NEITHER IS THIS

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text; WHY THIS

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anonymous text; because tiger

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text; not everything is because tiger

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anon text; i'm sorry hannah

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text; this was a good tag to wake up to and I laughed. APOLOGIZE FOR NOTHING.

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anon text; WELL THEN I REGRET NOTHING, YOLO, E T C

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Like you need a zoo on top of the usual state of your room.

[ He starts to imagine... and just has to stop. This response also substitutes for the more obvious "What the hell are you doing with a turkey?" ]

the state is perfect, everything put in its proper place.

[ He's reading that number correctly, right? That's who he thinks it is? His text doesn't carry a tone, but if it did, it would be a little ruffled. ]

besides, i can keep remarkably better track of her than you.

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probably hanging out with my chickens in the oxygen garden

birds of a feather [ Hahahaha GET IT GET IT BECAUSE THEY'RE BIRDS wow she's bored. ]

a congratulatory pat on the shoulder for that pun.

[ what is sarcasm again, seriously, jaye, birds of a feather ]

i'd yet to have pinned down who exactly was the face behind those chickens.

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[OPEN SCENE. Ianto looks so deadpan you know he must be at least slightly put out. But his face is only on screen for a moment before the camera wobbles as he switches hands, pointing it away to the scene in front of him.

There in the oxygen gardens, Myfanwy the pteranodon and Sherlock's turkey are having a standoff. They are both stock still, staring each other down, shoulders hunched and feathers (in Myfanwy's case, metaphorical ones) slightly ruffled.

The camera wobbles again, turning back around to Ianto.

He raises a single, expectant eyebrow.]

Oh, look. They're getting along.

[ He says so nonchalantly and all, but it's as he's taking a flying leap off of his bed and probably heading in the direction of the gardens. Either to save Rockefeller or to catch a good show, he can't tell yet. ]

What in the world is that?

[ and what level of hell did it descend from oh gosh ]

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Struts like a champion, am I to believe turkey training is your expertise?

S

one of many.

she does, after all, take after her most esteemed guardian.

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Lol WOW IGNORE THAT JM WHOOPSIE THERE

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LMAO I ALMOST COMMENTED ON IT TOO i'm glad i didn't

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now where'd the damned turkey get off to?

[ Yes, that's- what he said 8I ]

it's really anyone's guess.

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we talkin "turkey" or "turkey" ?

you get what i'm sayin?

we're... talking of a turkey. quotations not necessary.

[ kane what is there another kind of turkey here ]

You really shouldn't talk about Rockefeller so behind her back.

She'll hear you.