[A gruff voices comes over the network, slighty distorted and muffled by something covering the face.]

If there's any types who know your way around a ship, we could use them down below to keep tabs on things, assuming the Science or Medical crew hasn't snatched you all up yet.

Should probably introduce myself - name's Isaac Clarke. I basically live down in the ship's Engineering department, and have been half working to try and understand everything here. We're making progress. Small progress, but progress. Could always use more hands for a ship this size, though.

As for everyone who was planning to be a part of my survival teachings, those'll happen sometime in the next few days. Everyone was a little... distracted, last month. [No, he refuses to elaborate on that.] I'll be showing how to jury-rig some standard space survival equipment and go over what I've learned dealing with... well, ships like this.

I'll also cobble stuff together for anyone who particularly needs anything high-tech. I make no promises, but I've got the experience.

Clarke out. [Annnd feed cut.]

So.

[ well hey, you guys, have a new face on the feed today. he's one of the new arrivals, trying to get used to this new space lifestyle!! which means friends are... probably a good thing. maybe. he's not sure yet, but he knows he needs to meet people. the ~general populace~, so to speak. ]

Space, huh?

[ wait no. he kind of frowns at that. worst opener. but then he considers all the posts that he's seen (memorized) since he's arrived and well, this ain't so bad. ]

I was... woooonnndering, uh. How many of you are from... New York City? Circa... 2011 or 2012. Ish.

[ man this is chalking up to be one of the most awkward experiences of his life. it's just-- this is like skype alright, except when you use skype you usually know who you're talking to-- here? way different. haha posting to a network, that's weird.

he is usually not this bad but you are also all strangers so. yeah. wait, here's a good idea. i mean, he has a lot of free time now so-- ]

Oh yeah and uh, does anyone know where I could get a camera? Thanks.

[ does he end the post now DOES HE END THE POST NOW he totally ends the post now! yes! good job, mike ross. you successfully completed the goal of posting a video post to the network. next time, maybe have an idea of what you want to talk about beforehand. ]

[If it sounds like he's rattling off meeting notes… it's because that's exactly what he's doing. Sort of. He doesn't keep to the script too well. But the last time he did the PSA for the Gardens he was a dick, apparently, and not being a dick is important (apparently), so this time he's written it all out beforehand. Hey, he tried.]

Couple-a things about the Gardens.

One: If you want something specific from 'em, place an order here.

{attachment: Order Form.}

As soon as we have it, we can take it up to the specified passenger deck. Saves you time, saves us a huge goddamn headache when we go for somethin' and it's not there. There's also a sheet by the Garden entrance, so use it. Especially if ya want potatoes. [GLaDOS.]

Two: If you pick your own stuff, fill out that form too. Inventory.

Three: If y'don't want to deal with us and want your own plot, we got a section for that. Or you can grow it on the upper levels if you like dirt. Not our fault if somethin' happens to it, though. [A pause.] Not our fault if somethin' happens to it anyway. We're not security.

Four: Tell us if you throw your animal in here, before you throw your animal in here. It ain't a farm. We're not petsitters, either.

Five: Don't smoke near the chemicals. Or the filtration systems. Or the scrubbers. An' if you smoke filtered cigarettes, don't leave the butts on the ground.

Six: There's a few of us workin' down here. If you have questions, ask.

{attachment: AGR Staff Sheet.}

Seven: That list is a sign-up sheet too. Could use the help. And uh. We're not all assholes. One-a you nice ones should do the announcement, next time.




[So yeah. GO TEAM.]

[ Behold! On your screen is a whole plastic box-case thing of Reese's minis, the gold foil wrappers of each bite-sized piece winking in the horrible eye-blinding indoor lights of the ship. There's actually a reason for Isaac to be taking a video of an incredibly boring thing, though. ]



I found these in my locker after the jump. It's well over ten pounds of Reese's minis and is seriously too much candy for one person, so I'm giving a pound of these to the first couple people willing to sing Rolling in The Deep on the public network. [ No, really. He means it. ] And is there anyone on the ship who is Canadian and can play hockey and/or lacrosse? I've got my lacrosse stick and three balls to shoot, but not enough gear to really play. Or have anyone to play against.

[ There's also another thing, but it's slightly less boring. It's also a bit tricky, since it involves the monthly fur problem. ]

I'm also thinking of camping out on the gardens for a couple days, are the gardens back to being mostly safe again?