003 | video | gunpowder & lead

[bribed]

All right, here's the thing.

[ "Here" is punctuated by one Jayne Cobb leaning forward and poking at the camera lens. ]

Lots of you are terrible shots. Since Wes is gone [ grumpy bastard; Jayne liked him anyway and will pour one out -- or drink it -- for him later ] that means no one's probably goin' around pointin' out that the gunnery crew'll teach ya how to be better shots or else make sure you stop touchin' weaponry 'cause we don't want to get shot in the ass.

Anyway. You want to learn to shoot an' take care of your gun, you let us know. That's me an' Ric an' Natasha an' Wichita. I got a few people who've asked me already, so I figured I'd extend the invitation out. Some of us can probably help ya with other weaponry, if ya ask nice. If one of them don't want to teach it... I don't know. Hit 'em until they say yes or until they knock y'out, whichever comes first.

[ And this is why no one should let Jayne anywhere near his communicator. ]

Comments

video »

[steeled]

[ so jax is going to be all over this.

great. ]

Do you take anyone?

[ please say no. ]

video »

[bribed]

[ they took him, didn't they ]

There's four of us. If you can shoot I don't think we're gonna be all that picky, 'sides the regular stuff like "help people with guns" an' "don't be a dumbass with guns".

video i guess

[mindtricks]

I already know how to handle a gun.

[ a beat. she has been thinking about this ] You're down to four people?

yeah let him see that face

[bribed]

Yeah, but are you any good?

[ Nod. ] Yeah. Was four when I joined up, so five, but with Wes gone now... four.

[ Congratulations Jayne you can do math. ]

An' I think I'm the only one who's been on a spaceship outside this one, so that's somethin' real special by itself.

video »

[unparental]

So you work with Ric.

[ chinhands. ]

video »

[bribed]

Yeah. He's the one who I talked to 'bout joinin' up, actually.

[ On accident. ]

video;

[naytheist]

[So Cesare had to do a bit of research to find out what the hell a gun was in the first place but they sound great.]

I was unaware that there was more skill to it than simply to point and fire. I would be keen for you to teach me.

video;

[bribed]

Oh yeah. Gotta be able to aim, different guns react different ways -- an' not just types, individual guns. They got a personality, of sorts.

[ things jayne waxes poetic about: guns and his dick ]

I'm guessin' you ain't got one of your own?

[werewolfing]

We frequently in need of guns?

[bribed]

You're new, ain't you?

[ video ]

[flyflyfly]

Is there a place to practice shooting around here? Like a range or something?

[ video ]

[bribed]

Yeah, actually. I can give ya directions.

NOPE I CHANGED MY MIND.

[kutte]

Four people? Seriously?

[ judging u ]

What if I said I was a great shot and a decent teacher?

LMAO

[bribed]

No one 'round here appreciates these things.

[ don't look at him man he hasn't been here that long ]

Then I'd ask what the hell you're waitin' for.

video »

[swedge]

So now you're teaching?

[ jo just looks kind of amused at this. sorry, jayne, but think of all those poor bastards who will want to learn how to shoot a gun who probably shouldn't be anywhere near one. ]

video »

[bribed]

I guess.

[ Well, at least Jayne won't be sparing their feelings. ]

You lookin' to do a little more than hang out at the bar all day?

( voice. )

[carbonite]

You know what? If you find those people who can't shoot a gun, let me know? I want to be as far away from them as possible.

( voice. )

[bribed]

[ A chuckle. ]

Yeah, sure.

video; because this is cr i need real bad reeeachess

[cons]

Did you just tell people to hit me until I agree to give them shooting lessons? Seriously?

video; SORRY FOR HIS EVERYTHING WICHITA

[bribed]

Well it's your job, ain't it?

video

[okayokay]

You can teach me.

video

[bribed]

You were one've the ones I was thinkin' might reply. Sure.

video;

[cutemupgirl]

Yes, please make sure people don't shoot each other in the ass. That is not something I want to deal with.

[IS THIS SPACESHIP FULL OF CHILDREN?] Or hitting each other. We are not five.

video;

[bribed]

Don't seem to recall askin' you for your opinion on it.

[ person he doesn't know!!! ]

video;

[thebreakingwave]

I don't know if it'll help, but I'm good with dueling. Magically, I mean.

If not, I've never used a gun but I think it might not hurt to learn.

video;

[bribed]

[ uh. ] Yeah, it don't help.

An' of course it wouldn't hurt.

voice

[doc_pompous]

You're still offering, then?

voice

[bribed]

Yeah, I'm still offerin'. You need it, doc.

video;

[gothchicklit]

Hit 'em until they say yes? [ October looks a mixture of amused and hesitant at that (not to mention exhausted, but that's not exactly abnormal for anyone here right now). ]

video;

[bribed]

Or don't, not like it bothers me none.