ataraxion | mark iii suit ❦ [ text + two encyptions ]

we might have a problem.

[ normally tony wouldn't bring this up at all, but creepy red smile thing is really fucking creepy and this is some shit out of a horror film. ]

not a demon problem, because unless i'm wrong winchester and the angel thing have that dealt with. was going to mention this before that came up, but not all of us can split our attention between two things. actually most of you can't. right, though, problem of the ship variety.

[ and then an attachment entitled i am a smile and i am creepy is sent to everyone's device. ]

i know what you're going to say, tony you made the creepy smiling thing mad. you're going to get us all killed. no, i'm not. what i did was discover something kind of important. the good ship tranquility is watching us. and as much as i'm cool with being watched, kind of want to know who the fuck is watching me on this huge ship. weirdly enough.

i know you two are watching everything. what do you say about this?

[ finally tony adjusts his device to video and if they pay attention, they see that he's in his suit. it's a bit of a way to intimidate them, but he's not going to come right out and say it. ]

Okay, whatever, you two are in charge along with Kirk. I don't care, if that's one of you two, I want to know. Everyone does, but I'm the one who asked the questions and got the answer so I get the first answer.

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[The most nervous laugh] You saw 2001, right? Wouldn't bet on it, no.

[This would be a lot less funny if Topher had any idea that HAL was on the freakin' ship.]

[ ...a w k w a r d. ] Yeah, I've seen it. Talked to him. Not actually the worst guy. Despite any refusals to do what Dave wanted.

[ tony, for once, topher, is not shitting you. ]

[.....

OH GOD. YOU'RE NOT KIDDING.]

I'm gonna... assume that he's... gotten on his meds and has no intention of letting the air out of the cabin or anything.

[ LOOK HE'S SORRY SOMEONE HAD TO TELL YOU. ]

Harmless. On his meds and everything and human body, remember? Little hard to do stuff in it.

You'd be surprised. [He's friends with Wheatley, okay. Wheatley talks to doors. He's not sure how much damage that could cause, but he also doesn't want to put money on it being harmless.]

Okay. HAL and certain other parties who shall remain nameless aside... If the ship's got an AI and we've got AI's who would probably jump at the chance to do something useful.... Why not send them on a-a diplomacy mission? Assuming we could get the go-ahead from Mom and Dad on the bridge. And assuming the ship's even got a functioning AI, but what big creepy ship doesn't?

Call me an optimist. [ Wheatley is an idiot tho. Sorry, in Tony's ranking he's like way down at the bottom. ]

Wheatley. You can say his name, I'm the annoying guy who just reads everything a lot. I mean, in this hypothetical situation, that's not the worst idea. And if something bad happens...it's not like we lost any of...us.

And don't call them mom and dad.

Iiiii wasn't gonna name names. [TRY TO BE A BRO, MAN. But yes, he is an idiot. But... Topher has dealt with Paul Ballard who henceforth should be known as the Moron King of the Mountain, so he's gotten used to being a moron wrangler. AND ALSO HE'S FASCINATED, DON'T JUDGE HIM.]

You can say humans, Stark. It's not a bad word. [And also... Kanye shrug. He'll deal with the moral implications of what he just said later.] They might as well be.

You weren't and I was so, oops. [ OKAY NO, HE WANTS TO CHOOSE WHO HE'S BROS WITH. sorry to say wheatley is not someone he wants to be friends with because dumb ai. how is that even possible. ]

Yes it is. It's totally a bad word. [ ...no really it's not but w h a t, topher. ] That means I flirted with mom.

[Sadly, that is precisely why Topher wants to befriend him. It's fascinating.]

I'm just saying, that's kinda how the race wars start. That whole... us vs. them thing. And I for one, don't wanna be here when Skynet becomes psychotic. [A beat] Not that your... logic isn't sound. Most of the AI's don't wanna be in human bodies anyway. We make back-up copies of their minds with plans to put them back inside their robo-shells, they won't care what we send the human versions into.

[Oh. There is JUDGMENT.] Dude.

[ that is sad and tony expected better from you topher. ]

No, race wars start because programmers were idiots who either didn't put in failsafes, or if they did, they put in the wrong ones. Also. Seriously, Skynet was shit. [ a beat. ] And tell me when we're making those back-up copies. Because those don't really exist.

[ YOU HUSH YOUR FACE, TOPHER. ] Oh come on, she's attractive and she knows how to deal with mechanics of things. It's a winning combination.

If they existed and if I was making them, I'd be making them as soon as I can get harddrives that can hold an entire brain worth of data and the tech to do a full brain download.

[No.] Yeah, she's super-sexy, but she might be a praying mantis woman for all we know.

...The fact that you've thought this in depth about it is creepy, Topher. Just saying. People might actually think you really want to do this and are just waiting for the right time.

[ ... ] Is the best you can come up with seriously praying mantis woman?

Neural mapping's nothing new. I just... used to dial it up to eleven.

[...WHAT? WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO OFFER, TONY?] You weren't coming up with anything better!

One day, I'm going to get you to tell my that story. I'd say now, but eh, I don't feel like listening to it. But you're going to explain that later. Just for the record.

[ YES HE HAS A LOT OF THINGS TO OFFER. MAYBE. ] We're on a fucking spaceship. Killer android, creepy alien a la Species? Do I need to go on?

Duly noted. [He's not reminding you and is, in fact, hoping you forget that.]

Hey! The creepy alien from Species was pretty much a praying mantis woman.

I can come back to this later. Just...fyi. [ nope sorry topher, never forgetting this. ]

No she wasn't, oh my god, praying mantises- mantisi, aren't like she was.

Insanely hot?

[LOOK AT HIM MOVING ON FROM THAT TOPIC THAT YOU WILL NEVER COME BACK TO.]

[ HAHAHAHAHA. THAT'S CUTE TOPHER. HE'LL COME BACK. LATER. ]

No, actually vaguely trustworthy looking. The mantises always have something about them.

mark iii suit ❦ [ text + two encyptions ]

voice; stark encryption 100%; LET'S GO WATCH THE GOLDEN GIRLS AND EAT CHIMICHANGAS.

voice; stark encryption 100%; IS THERE EVEN GOLDEN GIRLS IN SPACE? THERE SHOULD BE IF THERE ISN'T.

voice; stark encryption 100%; Someone ask for a TV next jump. And a satellite dish.

voice; stark encryption 100%; MAYBE THEY'LL PICK UP THE ALIEN VERSION OF IT.

voice; stark encryption 100%; And Betty White is inexplicably unchanged. O_O

voice; stark encryption 100%; ...i always knew there was something about her.

voice; stark encryption 100%; And this is it.

voice; stark encryption 100%; if she comes to kill us, i blame you.

voice; stark encryption 100%; If I die by Betty White, I will... have died a good death.

voice; stark encryption 100%; yeah, but then we- actually no, she's a fair one to lose against

voice; stark encryption 100%;

voice; stark encryption 100%; /quietly tags this back

voice; stark encryption 100%; /touches the butt

voice; stark encryption 100%; where is the butt though

voice; stark encryption 100%; ask clint

voice; stark encryption 100%; i'm not asking ms. new booty about where it is.

voice; stark encryption 100%; then we are at an impasse.

voice; stark encryption 100%; we are not. you could easily tell me.