[text + pictures] eridans guide to aliens

[uncodlyawwesome]

ok listen up ivve only got so much fuckin time i can wwaste on you people
theres been some confusion here wwith this wwhole alien vs human thing
by the wway humans are aliens too you knoww just think about that
an i figure its time to fuckin set some a this straight

for the record im not an artist an these are undeniably shitty i knoww that
drawwin is more neps thing but shes not here
i think
so im takin control

ok look

most a you are humans or wwhatevver an youre pretty much the reason i havve to make this announcement in the first fuckin place
wwe get it you think you are so fuckin special an unique an there are no other alien races out there
but guess wwhat swweetcheeks youre fuckin wwrong
there are thousands a races not just humans
an starin at us like wwere some kind a freakshoww is just plain incongruous
so let me set the record straight

this is wwhat trolls look like generally speakin
that includes me an like one other person on this stupid ship but wwhatevver point stands
there are twwelvve of us that are still around
thirteen actually but again wwhatevver
an wwe are an endangered species so fuckin treat us wwith some respect
wwe havve horns gray skin an fangs wwhich is apparently intimidatin but seriously
im not gonna fuckin abduct you or be a commie or wwhatevver you wwere talkin about
you knoww wwho you are

some trolls are better than others an havve impeccable fashion sense
wwhich is wwhy these jumpsuits are a travvesty
an also fins on our face an gills because wwere aquatic
seadwwellers are knowwn to be fuckin badass so just keep that in mind

this guy is also like an alien i guess wwhatevver either wway hes fuckin terrifyin
dont get me wwrong hes ok noww an is on our side so its all good
but still id shore as shit keep a fuckin distance there betwween you an him


noww i knoww there are other races around here but to be fuckin honest i havvent bothered talkin to any a you so if you wwant me to throww a heads up in here let me knoww an i think i can edit this

oh also

theres this guy im pretty sure hes some race that isnt human unless humans come in ugly colors other than pink
but either wway hes some guy
he thinks hes cool but lemme fuckin tell you there ivve met him
an the only thing hes cooler than is a belly up fish
hes got some style i can givve him that but otherwwise wwere pretty much talkin
incredibly loww levvels a cool
critically lame
this doomsday devvice doesnt fuckin wwork
it just sits there lookin vvaguely fuckin imposin until you try to operate it
then it just kinda flounders an fails
that is wwhat this guy is
a flounderin failin doomsday devvice of incredibly lame proportions


on a completely unrelated note
if anyone has any fuckin hairspray
or a brush
or gel
anyfin
i wwill trade you a gold ring for it
just one gold ring but theyre real fuckin gold im allergic to fake shit
like magic an pyrite

heres wwhere edits are goin since im gettin some fuckin decent feedback here
one
okay sometimes other races dont look too fuckin different from humans so i guess just dont fuckin judge people or somefin
two
jack noir doesnt havve a tail an hes a dersite but hes still fuckin crazy
three
if you see someone wwith a tail or fuckin wweird ears or horns or wwhatevver do me a fuckin favvor an dont fuckin tug pull or touch these
apparently this is a fuckin thing i havve to say an thats just stupid
havve some fuckin respect cod
four
theres another unknowwn race on board that looks sort a like a ghost i guess if you think ghosts look like physical beings
if you do then you obvviously dont evven knoww wwhat a ghost is
anyway his name is astral so treat him properly or wwhatevver

((OOC: Eridan's art was donated by my friend :) uhh if text+pic isn't something the comms can do, imagine that he turned on the video long enough to hold the pictures up to the camera in order? Yeah. That works.

Also, a more normal version of this post can be found here, if you don't like troll font. Took out the ww's and vv's too. Please let me know if you don't like the font, though, otherwise I'll tag you back in it. :X))

Comments

[text]

[ihavesomany.livejournal.com]

I would add to this that not every alien 'looks like' an alien. Some of us are more than averagely humanoid.

[text]

[uncodlyawwesome]

oh right
wwell to be fair im just tryin to clear up the wwhole
oh cod its a monster
thing evveryones gettin in on before it becomes a lampreylooza a craziness
if you look human but your an alien most a these people wwont evven knoww so wwhy bother pointin it out an freakin them out evven more

i mean dont get me wwrong
i lovve freakin people out its fuckin hilarious evvery once in a wwhale
but right noww im more interested in bein able to ask for hairspray wwithout a million fuckin comments about howw im gray skinned or wwhat havve you

[text]

[ihavesomany.livejournal.com]

A lot of them work it out eventually. Don't go around announcing it to everyone, but I don't try hard to make it a secret, either, unless there's good reason.

By the way, I like the word 'lampreylooza.' Might use it in future.

text;

[barkstabbark]

im a dersite moron
and i dont have a tail

text;

[uncodlyawwesome]

wwell excuse me
im sorry i didnt get a reel good look at you givven the fact that i wwas too busy carpin my fuckin pants
because you were gonna fuckin kill me

but look here ill fuckin put that in if itll make you happy

text;

[barkstabbark]

ugh
you could at least pretend to be less of a goddamn pansy you know
if i really wanted to kill you youd be dead already

you damn well better

text

[walksonrooftops]

[Helpful guide! Asato makes sure to keep this for future reference.]

Can you put on here that people shouldn't pull on ribika's tails? It doesn't feel very good. I can't find anything about it in this guide which is really good by the way, thank you for making it. That was very kind of you.

text

[uncodlyawwesome]

people are pullin on your tail
thats just fuckin rude
if anyone tried to touch my fuckin horns or some shit id let them fuckin havve it i hope you do the same

but yeah let me put that in there for ya

text; WOW THAT WAS EMBARRASSING FOR ALL OF US BUT MOSTLY ME

[mistercocks.livejournal.com]

um excuse me you're being really insensitive here
you forgot something very important

try not to be so alienist

text; beautiful stunning flawless etc

[uncodlyawwesome]

did you not see the part wwhere i said i havvent fuckin talked to all a you
wwhat the fuck do you wwant me to add then other than a fuckin picture

text; have another threadjack

[starstripedhero.livejournal.com]

[comment not here]

[megamind]

[Facepalming forever.]

[comment not here]

[uncodlyawwesome]

[Look, he's thirteen. Cut him some slack, he hasn't come up with a good way to completely ruin Megamind's life yet.]

Video

[gofortheoptics]

[She's not sure exactly what is going on here, but he seems very ... angry...]

Are you from Eternia too?

[She's actually tilting her head toward the screen. You exaggerate your motions when people can't really see your face.]

Video

[uncodlyawwesome]

[He goes ahead and puts on his own video because he's trying to be accommodating to people, or something. Whatever.]

No. I'm from Alternia.

[ text ]

[anomalyse.livejournal.com]

wow.

you make a lot of fish puns.

[ text ]

[uncodlyawwesome]

half a the time i forget im doin it
its a seadwweller thing

[sermonize.livejournal.com]

[uncodlyawwesome]

[UUHHHHHGHHHHH SHUT UP SIGNLESS STOP BEING SO POLITE!!!!!!]

pretty sure nobody heres fuckin complainin
so far ivve only been called fuckin helpful an nice

video;

[soulbonder]

What is wrong with being blue?

video;

[uncodlyawwesome]

[Still being all... accommodating and shit, using video when someone starts it up.]

Nothin's wwrong wwith it. I mean, in Alternian culture blue is a pretty fuckin' high rank. Not that high an' definitely not as high as mine but still.

He's just a fuckin' tool.

[bearsthevision.livejournal.com]

Just the fact that this needed to be made... [ Another trail-off. Chase is staring at the pictures intently ]

This is going to be a very, very long trip.

[uncodlyawwesome]

youre tellin me

text;

[starstripedhero.livejournal.com]

text;

[uncodlyawwesome]

holy mackerel can you not be so fuckin peppy
i mean seriously the situation hasnt fuckin changed here

wwhat the fuck do you think im really gonna do im 6 swweeps old an i havve bigger fish to fry than you
youre just like some fuckin loser wwho runs his mouth like a motorboat an thinks addin fuckin stars makes him cool

wwhat are reeses pieces

also my planets alternia but it doesnt exist anymore so