fourth molotov cocktail made ☾ ( anonymous text )

[mathematically]

[ there's a part of lydia that wonders if this is stupid. if that after her last foray ( god, why did so many people care about her problem with peter ) with anonymous text and her problems and the network that maybe this was uncalled for, maybe she should just come clean and be herself and ask everyone if they were having problems like this. except, this is just as damning, isn't it? little miss lydia martin thinks killing peter hale will solve all her problems just like she thought doing what he wanted would solve them and yet, here she was, still sleep walking, still with nightmares and still— finding her mind in pieces she didn't know were still broken. ( they shouldn't have been why were they. ) she just wants to be normal again, she just wants to feel normal again. not like whatever this is. ]

When you get gangrene the treatment is to cut off the portion effected in order to try and save the rest of the tissue. Sometimes you have to amputate things, but that's not always what happens. You think that cutting it away is supposed to help. And it does sometimes. Other times you die anyway despite the efforts and it's bullshit.

That's morbid and— I shouldn't have started off with that. Whatever, you think something will make everything right again and then surprise the joke's on you, you still feel like a mess and it's— that's still not the point and is maudlin in ways that I don't do. I'm not even that intoxicated to justify it.

Original point of this, so you don't start laughing at the anonymous freak who can't shut up and get to the point. Has anyone been having sleeping related problems? I don't mean nightmares, because of course you're going to have nightmares here unless you're some person who thinks this is a walk in the park. But, sure, tell me about you special ones that aren't just consequences of the ship. What I mean is sleep walking. Waking up in places you don't remember falling asleep in. And I guess maybe another aspect of that is— have you had black out moments here. Where you're in one place, and then in another but you don't know how you got there. And if someone were to ask you, you couldn't answer what happened. You just were in one place and then suddenly you were in another and you don't remember even walking or running or whatever there.

God, I sound like a crazy person asking this. This is why I did this anonymously. No one wants to talk to a person after they sound crazy like this and I like talking to people for the most part. I don't feel like being shunned like that.

Comments

text;

[logicunlocked]

dunno about anybody else, but i wouldn't think less of ya. it's stress or something I bet you.

anon text;

[mathematically]

i'm actually less stressed than i've been in ages. but thank you person who is not a doctor. i appreciate the input.

and you say that now. i'm anonymous. no one ever does the same thing to someone's real face.

text;

[logicunlocked]

glad i could be of service.

and you don't know for sure that no one would do that because you don't know everyone. i'm not that cynical.

text »

[pikes]

[ assuming that this is not just for people who can walk, aha :) ]

Ever thought of speaking to a doctor? There are several of them. They might have something for that problem of yours.

anon text »

[mathematically]

[ welcome to the lydia martin show, pike, somehow that idea escapes her real easily. ]

A therapist, right? Or no, the other doctors who will give me sleeping pills. Because I so enjoy being a zombie to sleep without having to worry about whether or not I'll wake up in a pool.

[ tone it down, lydia, jfc. ]

I have, ftr. Sort of— no that's a lie, I mocked the therapist at home.

text »

[pikes]

[ who still uses sleeping pills wow. ]

Haven't yet met a therapist that didn't sprout bullshit at me, so I can't recommended them to you myself.

The more modern technology on the ship might be able to provide you with medication far more helpful than pills.


[ *ooc: he definitely had to have a therapist during rehabilitation because PTSD and all that shit, but i'm playing him like he walked out wheeled off because he doesn't need the blabbering little shits, he can do this by himself. HEADCANON ALERT. ]

audio;

[killarevolution]

Try drinking.

[THAT IS YOUR ANSWER TO EVERYTHING, HAYMITCH. To be fair, he'd probably be a lot less blunt if he didn't have a sneaking suspicion he knows who this is. Sorry, Lydia. You are very distinctive.]

anon text;

[mathematically]

[ She is going to punch you in the face, Haymitch, oh my god. ]

Maybe if someone wasn't drinking all the booze, I could.

audio;

[killarevolution]

Ought to think to ask, if you know where to find it.

[TROLOLOLO]

text | privated

[unsoldiered]

sleepwalking? I have a problem like that. I mean, walking up somewhere else. only i think i'm the crazier one, because i didn't always have to sleep for it to happen. if that even means anything.

It's getting better over time, though

anon text | privated

[mathematically]

Both. That's— what I meant. I mean. There isn't actually sleeping on some of mine, I think? The black out moments at least. I could tell you I maybe started walking and I stopped, the middle is poof.

Why?

[ how. ]

text, auggielocked;

[altercate]

Lock your door before you go to bed.

anon text, auggielocked;

[mathematically]

You can unlock doors while sleep walking.

[ seriously derek. ]

[ anonymouse || let's see how long it takes them to figure each other out ]

[thoughts]

You aren't dreaming. You're in the dream. You are the dream.

[ anonycat || this is going to be the funnest game lbr ]

[mathematically]

That's the problem. I need to be dreaming. Out of the dream.

text

[in_the_blood]

i don't think you sound crazy. sleepwalking happens to lots of people, doesn't it? i think you're being a bit harsh on yourself.

this is probably going to be an irritating question so i apologize in advance, but have you been to medbay? maybe there'll be someone there from a future century where they've actually discovered a proper cure for it.

anon text

[mathematically]

black out moments don't though. i'm not sleeping during them. i don't remember falling asleep. so no sleeping.

proper cure that they can make on the ship. and that probably means having to go there every month to take pills. just what i wanted, to be a pill popper.

text.

[ex_question191]

You're kidding, right? People write letters to serial killers in jail asking to marry them. Even the craziest of crazy people can still maintain their popularity. I'm pretty sure some of the people in charge on this ship are certifiable. Hey, maybe you're in charge. If so: it's cool, dude, we're already well aware you're not okay.

[ way to not answer any of her actual questions, stiles. also he pays enough attention to lydia and the way she speaks and thinks and writes that he feels like he could actually make a pretty good guess as to who this is, but he doesn't pick at it. the sanctity of anon, and all. ]

anon text.

[mathematically]

You managed to say a lot and completely avoid the questions. Tell me you noticed that. And not in charge, there'd be more red text if that was the case.

[ you get a brownie point for not pressing, stiles, you really do. because even if you did, she'd probably try and shove it under the rug. because anonymous!! but granted, slightly good points made despite lack of question answering. ]

I'm not even that popular here. But no one likes talking to the crazy person. It's hard to do. You don't— they're not a person. They're the crazy first, person second.

text.

[deprecate]

Disassociations.

anon text.

[mathematically]

Compartmentalizing. That's— okay, no, actually I'm a little curious where you're going with that. Other than the chemistry direction.

text;

[lockwood]

i'm not sure what it says about the life I've led where none of this sounds weird. I mean, it's never happened to me but people I know? yeah

perma-anon text;

[mathematically]

that the ship has warped your idea of weird or your life was weird before you even got here.

...were they okay?

text;

[jacked]

Blackouts and memory loss doesn't sound crazy. Sounds like you gotta lay off the booze

anon text;

[mathematically]

[ And in that moment, Zeke's attractiveness level rose up just a point. ]

That sounds like you're speaking from experience. Do we have a secret young alcoholic in our midst?