mathematically: (pic#6470466)
lчdíα ( вєttєr thαn αnч σthєr αlphα ) mαrtín ([personal profile] mathematically) wrote in [community profile] ataraxion2013-07-11 04:57 pm

fourth molotov cocktail made ☾ ( anonymous text )

[ there's a part of lydia that wonders if this is stupid. if that after her last foray ( god, why did so many people care about her problem with peter ) with anonymous text and her problems and the network that maybe this was uncalled for, maybe she should just come clean and be herself and ask everyone if they were having problems like this. except, this is just as damning, isn't it? little miss lydia martin thinks killing peter hale will solve all her problems just like she thought doing what he wanted would solve them and yet, here she was, still sleep walking, still with nightmares and still— finding her mind in pieces she didn't know were still broken. ( they shouldn't have been why were they. ) she just wants to be normal again, she just wants to feel normal again. not like whatever this is. ]

When you get gangrene the treatment is to cut off the portion effected in order to try and save the rest of the tissue. Sometimes you have to amputate things, but that's not always what happens. You think that cutting it away is supposed to help. And it does sometimes. Other times you die anyway despite the efforts and it's bullshit.

That's morbid and— I shouldn't have started off with that. Whatever, you think something will make everything right again and then surprise the joke's on you, you still feel like a mess and it's— that's still not the point and is maudlin in ways that I don't do. I'm not even that intoxicated to justify it.

Original point of this, so you don't start laughing at the anonymous freak who can't shut up and get to the point. Has anyone been having sleeping related problems? I don't mean nightmares, because of course you're going to have nightmares here unless you're some person who thinks this is a walk in the park. But, sure, tell me about you special ones that aren't just consequences of the ship. What I mean is sleep walking. Waking up in places you don't remember falling asleep in. And I guess maybe another aspect of that is— have you had black out moments here. Where you're in one place, and then in another but you don't know how you got there. And if someone were to ask you, you couldn't answer what happened. You just were in one place and then suddenly you were in another and you don't remember even walking or running or whatever there.

God, I sound like a crazy person asking this. This is why I did this anonymously. No one wants to talk to a person after they sound crazy like this and I like talking to people for the most part. I don't feel like being shunned like that.
deprecate: (in a reckless guilty haze)

[personal profile] deprecate 2013-07-29 06:41 am (UTC)(link)
In finding God, I found a reason for what was happening to me, and the capacity to forgive, and I spose as bs as it sounds i found myself.
deprecate: (on the last day you embraced me)

[personal profile] deprecate 2013-08-03 12:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Half my life. Been a rocky road. When i wsa 15 i wanted to stop believing in everything, got a bit angry at God.
deprecate: (did they sing a million blessings)

[personal profile] deprecate 2013-08-05 02:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Nah youve gotta scarequotes it. "normal". So what's normal to you mr or mrs or miss anon?
deprecate: (with a glistening sapling trust)

[personal profile] deprecate 2013-08-07 09:03 am (UTC)(link)
Fraid that's not about to return to you anytime soon onboard this ship. Better to work with what you have than get all nostalgic for your boring old life.
deprecate: (Default)

[personal profile] deprecate 2013-08-08 09:04 pm (UTC)(link)
This is a weird offer, but my bfs sort of good with dreams. in that he can kind of .......... get into them. Other peoples. Bet he'd not mind trying to help you there, though ud have to come off anon. not even to me i could give you his number??
deprecate: (for the last time drew me in)

[personal profile] deprecate 2013-08-10 01:15 pm (UTC)(link)
009 » 130. He's the most non-judgemental person I've met in my life, so don't worry about freakin him out. Gluck.