[ one ✚ video ]

[fraud]

So.

[ well hey, you guys, have a new face on the feed today. he's one of the new arrivals, trying to get used to this new space lifestyle!! which means friends are... probably a good thing. maybe. he's not sure yet, but he knows he needs to meet people. the ~general populace~, so to speak. ]

Space, huh?

[ wait no. he kind of frowns at that. worst opener. but then he considers all the posts that he's seen (memorized) since he's arrived and well, this ain't so bad. ]

I was... woooonnndering, uh. How many of you are from... New York City? Circa... 2011 or 2012. Ish.

[ man this is chalking up to be one of the most awkward experiences of his life. it's just-- this is like skype alright, except when you use skype you usually know who you're talking to-- here? way different. haha posting to a network, that's weird.

he is usually not this bad but you are also all strangers so. yeah. wait, here's a good idea. i mean, he has a lot of free time now so-- ]

Oh yeah and uh, does anyone know where I could get a camera? Thanks.

[ does he end the post now DOES HE END THE POST NOW he totally ends the post now! yes! good job, mike ross. you successfully completed the goal of posting a video post to the network. next time, maybe have an idea of what you want to talk about beforehand. ]

Comments

voice;

[fraud]

Really.

[ you are getting a chance to explain yourself before he tells you he doesn't believe you, edgeworth. go forth! ]

voice;

[jurisimpudent]

[Scowling and still irritable:]

We have a security force here. If you tell me you pursued the law for money, then I'll know I've no way to appeal to you to help out with it; if you have other motivations, then the conversation will go differently. That's why I asked.

voice;

[fraud]

Wait, you want to put me to work?

voice;

[jurisimpudent]

That's what I said, isn't it?

voice;

[fraud]

But I don't wanna work!

voice;

[jurisimpudent]

...That's a lie.

voice;

[fraud]

How-- What?

[ what. ]

voice;

[jurisimpudent]

You're a lawyer. There is no such thing as a lawyer without drive. Your goal might be money; you might enjoy your leisure time and wish to maximize it - but you can't sit around and do nothing. By nothing more than your profession you've shown yourself incapable of it.

voice;

[fraud]

My goal isn't money--

[ ugh, this pretentious fuck of a guy doesn't even know him. he doesn't like being judged through a fucking phone call. ]

You know what, it's not even really any of your business, dude.

voice;

[jurisimpudent]

[Ugh.]

I'm not saying your goal is money, I'm saying that even if it is, you're not one to sit idle. I'm saying you have personality traits divorced from what you want. You made it through law school, did you not?

voice;

[fraud]

I know I'm not but that doesn't mean I want to work with no incentive and just because some guy I don't even know the face of said so. Working here is optional, isn't it? Because we're all trapped anyway and all of what I've read has been volunteered work produced by a volunteered system. So if I choose to join it, it will be on my own and not because you said so because of what you "inferred" from me over some random one time conversation, got it?

voice -> video

[jurisimpudent]

[...Ugh well this has all gone to hell. He ill-temperedly moves his communicator from where it sits at his elbow to before him and engages the screen. His face comes into focus, and it is...most certainly the face of a kid, about college age. And yet it's also the face of a kid who would be perfectly ready and willing to criticize Mike for his age and lack of experience, because that is how he does.]

Does this at least resolve one of those issues?

video;

[fraud]

[ . . . ]

You're just a kid.

video;

[jurisimpudent]

[And Edgeworth scowls, indignant.]

I might be younger than the norm, but that does not diminish my competence! I'm as adept a lawyer as any other. [And, irritably - ] And how old are you, anyway?

video;

[fraud]

Twenty-nine but that doesn't matter -- did you even go to law school? Did you even graduate yet?

video;

[jurisimpudent]

[Not precisely answering that question - ]

Sir, I am a prosecutor. How, precisely, could I prosecute if I were not qualified?

video;

[fraud]

Irrelevant, you didn't answer the question. Did you go to law school?

video;

[jurisimpudent]

[His frown deepens.]

I did the California law office study program. I studied under an attorney for ten years - well exceeding the minimum four necessary for the program - and then sat for the bar examination, thereby becoming an accredited attorney.

video;

[fraud]

All I'm hearing is "no I didn't" because look, I can pass the bar exam in my sleep -- that's nothing. So you did a quickie program and now you think you know everything, huh?

video;

[jurisimpudent]

Did somehow ten years fail to work its way past the blockage in your ears? I had a decade-long course of study with the foremost prosecutor in Los Angeles. Do you consider that a "quickie program," sir?

video;

[fraud]

You look no older than twenty-one or twenty-two, so no, it doesn't really count because that means you've been there since you were eleven? FYI, bro, actual law school is three years after you study as an undergrad.

video;

[jurisimpudent]

Yes, that is correct; I have been studying since the age of ten. And I know perfectly well what the normal course of study is. Do you not know what the law office study program is? I'm trying to understand whether I'm having trouble communicating the rigor of my studies or whether you are simply abominably stupid.

video;

[fraud]

[ he waves a hand dismissively, rattling off the information without a second thought ]

The California State Bar Law Office Study Program allows California residents to become California attorneys without graduating from college or law school, assuming they meet basic pre-legal educational requirements. (If the candidate has no college degree, he or she may take and pass the College Level Examination Program otherwise know as the CLEP.) The Bar candidate must study under a judge or lawyer for four years and must also pass the Baby Bar within three administrations after first becoming eligible to take the examination. They are then eligible to take the California Bar Examination.

[ a shrug ]

Not the point. The point is, you're a kid. Either the person who let you study under them at ten years old is a crackpot or ... really, that's kind of the only answer I've got here! Also, don't call me stupid. A hundred bucks says I'm smarter than you on my off days. Either way, I don't like being judged on my own self-made proficiency or told what I should and should not do by some sanctimonious little brat.

video;

[jurisimpudent]

[Edgeworth's eyes narrow and his jaw clenches with sheer outrage.]

You will not call my mentor a crackpot.

video;

[fraud]

[ there's a click of the tongue and he grins ]

Sucks to be you, I guess, because I kind of did.