[ one ✚ video ]

[fraud]

So.

[ well hey, you guys, have a new face on the feed today. he's one of the new arrivals, trying to get used to this new space lifestyle!! which means friends are... probably a good thing. maybe. he's not sure yet, but he knows he needs to meet people. the ~general populace~, so to speak. ]

Space, huh?

[ wait no. he kind of frowns at that. worst opener. but then he considers all the posts that he's seen (memorized) since he's arrived and well, this ain't so bad. ]

I was... woooonnndering, uh. How many of you are from... New York City? Circa... 2011 or 2012. Ish.

[ man this is chalking up to be one of the most awkward experiences of his life. it's just-- this is like skype alright, except when you use skype you usually know who you're talking to-- here? way different. haha posting to a network, that's weird.

he is usually not this bad but you are also all strangers so. yeah. wait, here's a good idea. i mean, he has a lot of free time now so-- ]

Oh yeah and uh, does anyone know where I could get a camera? Thanks.

[ does he end the post now DOES HE END THE POST NOW he totally ends the post now! yes! good job, mike ross. you successfully completed the goal of posting a video post to the network. next time, maybe have an idea of what you want to talk about beforehand. ]

Comments

text; locked IT'S HOW SHE ROLLS

[unparental]

How about something like, "you're right, strange nosy lady-- I should probably be nicer to the kid, even if he was an active participant in the fight."

But instead of strange nosy lady, go with Jenna.

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[fraud]

Tell him to stop bothering me.

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[unparental]

I will. But I should probably point out if you told this story at a bar later? Nobody's going to high five you for being badass enough you managed to upset someone almost a whole decade younger than you.

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[fraud]

That wasn't my intention!!!

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[unparental]

Intention doesn't always pan out in outcome, unfortunately.

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[fraud]

I didn't even want to argue, it just happened.

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[unparental]

[ magic words, mike. jenna is not a fan of unrepentant assholes; people who screw up or antisocial people who mean well are her soft spots. have a sympathetic face instead of judgey text, now. ]

Edgeworth is a great kid, but he's-- let's call him stubborn and a little aggressive. Like I said, he does mean well.

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[fraud]

[ he switches to video because it seems like the polite thing to do. he's kind of way less geared up than before and sort of deflated in a way. 8( kicked puppy syndrome at its finest. ]

I'm sorry about it but it's just been a weird ... everything. [ day, week, month ] And I didn't appreciate what he was doing.

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[unparental]

[ NOT KICKED PUPPY mike come to jenna ;; ]

You're new, too. Look, I'm going to do you a favor-- you tromped on a sensitive nerve without meaning to a little with him. He won't tell you, but that's part of this.

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[fraud]

Ah.

[ a pause as he considers this ]

Oops?

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[unparental]

It happens. Don't beat yourself up, okay?

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[fraud]

I won't.

[ uhm. ]

This is pretty awkward for me though so maybe I should... go...

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[unparental]

...before you go, do you like lasagna?

[ jenna no stop people are not pokemon. ]

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[fraud]

... Yeeessss, why?

[ side-eyes so hard ]

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[unparental]

I hold dinners, just about every night. Nothing fancy, and I will put you to work helping with dishes-- but you should come anyway.

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[fraud]

Oh.

[ a long pause ]

... Can you make it for two?

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[unparental]

I'm already feeding a small army depending on the night, two more is no big deal. Just make sure your plus one knows that they work or contribute food from their personal stash, or they don't eat.

...unless they're underage, kids fly free.

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[fraud]

I would kill to see Harvey wash dishes so, you got it.

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[unparental]

...Harvey. Wait, okay.

You know someone named Harvey and you're new. So, taking a guess that he's not a rabbit-- please, tell me he's not a rabbit-- would Harvey be tall, hot in a smug way, and wearing a suit even I can tell is expensive?

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[fraud]

[ . . . hot in a smug way. a slight cringe at that. ]

Harvey's definitely not a rabbit. Would not be surprised if he's actually in the shark family so -- yeah. That's the guy. He's my, uh, friend.

[ that's still such a weird word to use towards harvey ]

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[unparental]

[ what, he is. his face practically screams 'you know you want some, i'm fucking awesome.' ]

I can buy shark off him-- we met, after the jump. Tell him the overly nosy veteran said hey.

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[fraud]

The overly--

[ a long pause. ]

Uhm, he'll know just by that?

[ casually wonders how hot she is ]

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[unparental]

[ YO MIKEY

giving you a wave, sir. ]

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[fraud]

[ HITTING VIDEO FOR HIS RESPONSE have a bemused look

and then a tiny wave ]

Okay, cool.

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[unparental]

I figure there's no way to describe myself without sounding like a jerk or like I'm fishing for compliments-- now you can go forth and do it yourself.

[ aw lookit the wave. ]