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voice + text | 005
[If it sounds like he's rattling off meeting notes… it's because that's exactly what he's doing. Sort of. He doesn't keep to the script too well. But the last time he did the PSA for the Gardens he was a dick, apparently, and not being a dick is important (apparently), so this time he's written it all out beforehand. Hey, he tried.]
Couple-a things about the Gardens.
One: If you want something specific from 'em, place an order here.
{attachment: Order Form.}
As soon as we have it, we can take it up to the specified passenger deck. Saves you time, saves us a huge goddamn headache when we go for somethin' and it's not there. There's also a sheet by the Garden entrance, so use it. Especially if ya want potatoes. [GLaDOS.]
Two: If you pick your own stuff, fill out that form too. Inventory.
Three: If y'don't want to deal with us and want your own plot, we got a section for that. Or you can grow it on the upper levels if you like dirt. Not our fault if somethin' happens to it, though. [A pause.] Not our fault if somethin' happens to it anyway. We're not security.
Four: Tell us if you throw your animal in here, before you throw your animal in here. It ain't a farm. We're not petsitters, either.
Five: Don't smoke near the chemicals. Or the filtration systems. Or the scrubbers. An' if you smoke filtered cigarettes, don't leave the butts on the ground.
Six: There's a few of us workin' down here. If you have questions, ask.
{attachment: AGR Staff Sheet.}
Seven: That list is a sign-up sheet too. Could use the help. And uh. We're not all assholes. One-a you nice ones should do the announcement, next time.
[So yeah. GO TEAM.]
Couple-a things about the Gardens.
One: If you want something specific from 'em, place an order here.
{attachment: Order Form.}
As soon as we have it, we can take it up to the specified passenger deck. Saves you time, saves us a huge goddamn headache when we go for somethin' and it's not there. There's also a sheet by the Garden entrance, so use it. Especially if ya want potatoes. [GLaDOS.]
Two: If you pick your own stuff, fill out that form too. Inventory.
Three: If y'don't want to deal with us and want your own plot, we got a section for that. Or you can grow it on the upper levels if you like dirt. Not our fault if somethin' happens to it, though. [A pause.] Not our fault if somethin' happens to it anyway. We're not security.
Four: Tell us if you throw your animal in here, before you throw your animal in here. It ain't a farm. We're not petsitters, either.
Five: Don't smoke near the chemicals. Or the filtration systems. Or the scrubbers. An' if you smoke filtered cigarettes, don't leave the butts on the ground.
Six: There's a few of us workin' down here. If you have questions, ask.
{attachment: AGR Staff Sheet.}
Seven: That list is a sign-up sheet too. Could use the help. And uh. We're not all assholes. One-a you nice ones should do the announcement, next time.
[So yeah. GO TEAM.]
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