[TEXT] 001; Who put piss in my apple juice?

[zoosmell]

oh wow, are we doing this again?
yeah, i don't have anything better than to do!
i'll just be right here in some strange place AGAIN!
bluh bluh bluh, this really sucks.
unless it's been three years?
oh, wow.
maybe i'm three years older?
i wonder why three years older me decided to get a tattoo of a number.
i don't think things are adding up...
i mean uh hello wouldn't a ghostbusters tattoo be even cooler??
oh!!!!!!!!
maybe this is like the numbers for the ghostbusters!
so now when anybody asks who're you going to call, i can just show them this number!
nice going older me.
boy, i'm really smart when i'm older!

Comments

[scratched]

ok wow youve stumped me i dont even know where to begin here
this is completely unsalvageable
a full frontal assault on an innocent man barfed up out of a spacebath
and you dont even give him ten minutes to recover before you shove this in his face

[zoosmell]

hi dave!
i am not sure if i'm older than you or not.
being older means you have a lot more responsibilities.
since i'm older, i'm going to have to confiscate all your COOL THINGS and be SUPER COOLER than you.

[scratched]

hey john
okay gonna try and take this down one piece at a time
like retarded jenga
gotta be slow and careful or ill be buried under this pile of stupid bullshit
first we all have the numbers
second is there any evidence you are actually older
are you actually any taller
when you voice your deep and passionate love for mcmonaugneigh outloud do you let out high pitched squeals still

[zoosmell]

maybe we're all ghostbusters.
you have to believe.
but that's from a different movie so i guess we don't have to actually believe?
also it's hard to hear my own voice when i'm voicing it.

[scratched]

less ghostbusting more galaxy questing

look if youre still stuck just look down your jumpsuit
dont tell me about it just do it

[sermonize]

Wake up often in strange places, do you?

[zoosmell]

yeah, i guess?
this place is ok i guess.
but if someone would tell me what was going on first, that would be nice!!!
also, hamburgers.

[sermonize]

Are you one of the new ones waking up this time?

[zoosmell]

oh!
yeah, i guess!
does this really happen a lot?
that's really strange weather.

[sermonize]

I am not certain how often it must occur, since the ship itself was virtually empty when I awoke here.

Apparently, the original crew went missing. Our hosts do not seem to be too concerned with anything other than continuing their voyage.

[barkstabbark]

what the hell are you talking about
why would you be three years older

[zoosmell]

that is a good and important question and i do not know the answer myself.
but it's very important!
or is it?
i still don't have a beard, though.

[barkstabbark]

ive got no fucking clue what youre talking about kid
but this is important
do you remember anything about a facility on a space station
anything at all

[zoosmell]

i've been in space?
it's kinda cold up there and i would not recommend it.
but i'm not sure what you mean by facility!
do you mean a big ship?
maybe if you tell me what it looked like, i could help you find it.

[barkstabbark]

im not looking for it stupid
i just need to know if you know

are you wearing a collar
probably sounds like a stupid question but humor me here

TEXT

[consulting]

What are ghost busters?
SH

TEXT

[zoosmell]

only the BEST.
your life has not been lived without ghostbusters.
they bust ghosts while making wacky quips at each other!
but i guess you are not missing out on much?
just ALL THE GOOD THINGS IN YOUR LIFE.
the sequel is twice the fun.
if you haven't seen bill murray's chin in action, then you have not seen ANYTHING.

video (because who wouldn't want to see all this frenchness)

[france]

Aaaa, mon ami, it sounds like you are very nervous! [ Motioning to the space behind him, to one of the metal walls of the ship. ] Of course, this is a very strange place to be in, but clearly it is just a reflection of the absurdity of life!

[ A chuckle. ] Aaa, you are so cute. Have you met Merique yet? I think you and him are very similar. [ AND HE MEANS THAT WITHOUT INSULT?? ]

video i would personally gently dim the screen...

[zoosmell]

Is Merique someone I'm supposed to meet? Destiny and fate is hard and kinda stupid, but I guess I'll meet him... But he better not one of those people who says things in riddles.

[ no he's not disgruntled, just more distracted and staring at the walls now ] But I don't think a wall is really that absurd? It's not even covered with cool movie posters or anything. And the absurdity of life is kinda cold?

video well there's no accounting for bad taste

[france]

Yes, yes! 'Merica, America? Alfred F. Jones? I believe you would like him. [ He laughs! ] If America spoke in riddles, he would confuse himself, my friend.

I am not speaking of the wall, little boy. I am speaking of our situation: the fact we are far away from home and aboard a strange ship. Does this not strike you as absurd?

video;

[zoosmell]

Not really? It's what I thought was going to happen, but it was a different ship.

The walls of life on that ship were more kinda golden, but I dunno, we were very busy and going to take off and this happened. These walls are pretty cool too.

[rectified]

ahahaha wow are you serious
dont try being the gullible stooge that everyone knows and loves again

[zoosmell]

oh, wow, dave!
other dave!
but still very real dave!
hi dave!
it has been three very long years with you, but i think we share something that nobody can replace.
and that is EXPERIENCE.
we are so experienced, other other dave can't even keep up with all this amazing experiencey action that we have.

[rectified]

yeah very real and alive dave here
wait
what
we do
is this really a thing that happened or
oh
yeah sure totally have all the amazing experiencey action
and whatever words you come up with in egbertian

[zoosmell]

you are just jealous that you can't speak egbertian.
it is such a cool language.
it is like all the languages got into pie-eating contest and egbertian ate even the pumpkin pies AND the tin!
PAFOW!
that is the sound of all the other languages losing to the great egbertian!

also i guess i don't really know when we are?
i wouldn't really be happy if three years passed by that fast...
we could have done a whole mac and me bonding experience!