[TEXT] 001; Who put piss in my apple juice?

[zoosmell]

oh wow, are we doing this again?
yeah, i don't have anything better than to do!
i'll just be right here in some strange place AGAIN!
bluh bluh bluh, this really sucks.
unless it's been three years?
oh, wow.
maybe i'm three years older?
i wonder why three years older me decided to get a tattoo of a number.
i don't think things are adding up...
i mean uh hello wouldn't a ghostbusters tattoo be even cooler??
oh!!!!!!!!
maybe this is like the numbers for the ghostbusters!
so now when anybody asks who're you going to call, i can just show them this number!
nice going older me.
boy, i'm really smart when i'm older!

Comments

[scratched]

Yeah, good idea. I'll get every copy of Cosmo I can find, and we can quiz each other about our love life for hours, whack the daylights out of each other with pillows and be right on schedule for feuding at 2am and refusing to talk to each until 7am, when we tearfully forgive each other and exchange two halves of a BFF necklace.

[translation: "Sure."]

Jade's here too.

[zoosmell]

Does that mean I need three halves of a BFF necklace?

Oh! We probably need four, right? Is Rose here?

[scratched]

We can do bracelets instead.

No. Not yet, anyway. Probably managed to escape whatever the fuck they did to wrangle us in here.

[zoosmell]

Oh.

Is this a bad place?

[scratched]

Some mysterious force even the supposed captain of the great ship Tranquility is cagey about rips you from whatever the fuck you were doing, shoves you in a tub and spits you back out, then you're expected to fit right into the shoes of some ex-crew we know shit about?

[A pause.]

No. It's not bad. It's just a place.

[zoosmell]

Okay. That's good.

I don't want you and Jade to have to be in a bad place for a month without me!

[scratched]

Two Jades.

[zoosmell]

Oh, man.

That is a lot of friendship bracelets that I need to get.

[scratched]

Do you even have the capacity for this much friendship?

[zoosmell]

We're making this happen.

I will become a friendship robot, and assimilate all the friendships. Beep, boop, time to friend ALL the Jades, and some of the Daves, too. Boop.

[scratched]

Get ready to insert some serious straight up shit into your programming. Got some bitches you better avoid.

[zoosmell]

Are you talking about yourself?

Is this because I called you a doofus?

[scratched]

Do I look like a bitch to you? I'm talking about that fucker Jack. He'll try and get all up in your shit, but you gotta shut up down. Also lock your door.

[zoosmell]

You look pretty doofusy to me, Dave!

But I have a door? Wow, that is pretty cool!

[scratched]

Shut up and listen for a second, I'm not repeating this shit.

Don't let that guy's horseshit suck you in.

[zoosmell]

I guess you mean that Jack is actually here on this thing...

But don't worry, Dave. I have a plan. If he ever tries to attack you, I'll put myself in front of you because I'm immortal or something! I think it is a good plan. Also, if I ever see him, I will punch him.

Because I don't forgive him.

[scratched]

That's the worst plan I've ever. Like hell I'm letting you leap in front of me like a jackass.

If we see him, we take a swing at the same time.

[zoosmell]

I guess that's okay, but I'm still going to Bruce Willis your ass if you're in trouble.

Whether we're immortal or not.

also im coming back to tag this one too because i do what i want!!!!!!!!!

[scratched]

Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.

[GUESS THIS IS dave speak for glad you're here bro ;A;]

your gchat message thing is open right there you know...

[zoosmell]

I guess we are in some weird land or something?

But do they have blankets? We need to build a BIG blanket fort. It will be so big, it will be like Fort Knox meets meets a jumbo jet.

if im not having at least three simultaneous conversations with you at once i get barfley

[scratched]

We're in space. I don't think it's got anything to do with the game.

Yeah they got blankets. I got a room to myself too - you gotta call me Officer Strider now.

yes i enjoy talking to daove

[zoosmell]

Oh, no! It's Officer Strider! You are sure to get all the ladies now! You will swap all the poop decks and then sail away with a boatload of popular and beautiful ladyfolk!

Permission to build a humongiganto blanket fort in your room, Officer Strider, sir?

wow get out johnfle!!!! scarflohn??

[scratched]

I have to fight off the bitches with a goddamn spacestick and half a shitty sword. Glad you're here to be my wingman now, gotta have someone to take the freakier ones out for a spin.

Permission Granted, Sergeant Egbert, under orders that said fort must meet all requirements of Fucknormous and Plush, to be inspected upon completion.

it can be scaofle or jaohn but not scarlohn...

[zoosmell]

Yes, sir! Sergeant Egbert, ready for fort-building and wingman duty!

Ha ha... I'm really glad you're here, Dave. I am pretty sure I would still be flipping the fuck out. Also, maybe I would have gotten lost. And it wouldn't have been so blankety.

why are we combining everything with my name are we merging into one being

[scratched]

Naw man, first rule of being chill is no flipping the fuck out allowed. Flippage of shit is only allowed under extreme circumstances, like being buried in puppet ass, or finding your blanket fort isn't nearly big enough, that clear?