[TEXT] 001; Who put piss in my apple juice?
oh wow, are we doing this again?
yeah, i don't have anything better than to do!
i'll just be right here in some strange place AGAIN!
bluh bluh bluh, this really sucks.
unless it's been three years?
oh, wow.
maybe i'm three years older?
i wonder why three years older me decided to get a tattoo of a number.
i don't think things are adding up...
i mean uh hello wouldn't a ghostbusters tattoo be even cooler??
oh!!!!!!!!
maybe this is like the numbers for the ghostbusters!
so now when anybody asks who're you going to call, i can just show them this number!
nice going older me.
boy, i'm really smart when i'm older!
yeah, i don't have anything better than to do!
i'll just be right here in some strange place AGAIN!
bluh bluh bluh, this really sucks.
unless it's been three years?
oh, wow.
maybe i'm three years older?
i wonder why three years older me decided to get a tattoo of a number.
i don't think things are adding up...
i mean uh hello wouldn't a ghostbusters tattoo be even cooler??
oh!!!!!!!!
maybe this is like the numbers for the ghostbusters!
so now when anybody asks who're you going to call, i can just show them this number!
nice going older me.
boy, i'm really smart when i'm older!
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What so you're gonna stalk me like some creepy bird watcher, not sure if I should feel flattered or concerned for all this attention.
[... slight shift] I'm fine. [One wings curls in front of himself, moving his hand to rub at some feathers from the front to keep him busy and focused.]
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But you should sleep. I didn't want to worry anyone, but since it's you and stuff, I guess... I am just not very sure of this place? It seems weird, but everybody else seems to be really freaked out, and that really sucks for them so I can't really be like that.
But you should sleep, and I will look out for you. And I will totally beat off any monsters that might come.
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[... oh, that was indeed some opening up from egbert. he's.. huh, well he hadn't expected it, even if they are friends he figured john would feel more compelled to tell alpha dave and not him.] ...
Hey, it's fine for you too. No one is gonna blame you. Remember to keep in mind I have your back here, even in this confusing as fuck space shenanigan. [hey if he's opening up it's only right he does too right?] To be honest I'm a bit lost, didn't really expect to be here, bleeding game console where else to end up? But all patched up now so that won't stop me from trying to help guide you guys along even here.
It's what bros are for. [may or may not have brushed one of his wings against john, shut up it's a comforting bird thing who even knows god]
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Or look after us, anyway. [ he could not withhold his giggle at the warbling, but he does stroke the wing lightly at the edge, far removed from the places where he used to be petting ]
But I think it's really great you're here, anyway. We can totally play Uno as many times as we want here, even if it takes more than three years.
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Looking after is what I know to do. [he's just a doomed piece in the end. his wing shivers at the touch but easily relaxed under it, the teen emitting a light breath.]
Sure go find us a game and I'll whip your butt in Uno. You sure you won't get sick of this feathery asshole in three years?
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But that doesn't seem really fair... I mean, I guess Sergeant Egbert will have to look after you. And then you have to look after red Dave, because you know he's kinda weird like that. He is bound to get himself in deep, deep stew!
But you know you're good at other things, too. You like rapping by yourself and being ironic and posting stupid webcomics.
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Course I always have my own back, can't let a bro down. I'll watch him like a fucking motherhen and her chick.
Yeah I guess, but that's not much help here now is it. Could catch up on some comics and a good rap off would be good though.
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But if you're not into that stuff anymore, we can do something else, too. [ the unsaid words being he didn't really know how four months older dave had changed ]
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that gets a pause from him, a considerably noticeable pause and once he catches on that he hadn't responded yet does he quickly say something.] No no.. That..
[another shift, wings flexing a little before he manages to finish his sentence.] That sounds fine, good even, sounds like a plan. First shitty comic in space coming right up.
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But I'm cool with whatever! Even if you start to make actually mediocre comics, or maybe one day a good comic? I am okay with it.
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except don't really stop he can get use to this]Wow I don't know if to feel offended now.
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But you know what I mean, doofus. It's like if I suddenly didn't like bucket pranks anymore and I really liked whoopee cushion pranks, I know you'd be all behind that.
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.. Well yeah, of course I'd be all behind that. Nothing better than embarrassing a couple of goons into thinking they passed gas in a room full of people. Even if you suddenly sprouted bunny ears and said, "Hey Dave guess what I'm actually a magical bunny." I'd say shit man if that's how you roll I still got your fluffy ass backed up no problem.
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If you ever needed me to refill the feeder in your bird house, I will just have to let you know that I am on good record for being an expert bird feeder changer. I have never done it before, but I will not feed you chicken.
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Sure dump some food in your hand and I will so gracefully eat off it. [twitch of his lips] But watch out I might mistake your lanky fingers for worms and peck them.
[lanky fingers that are petting him quite nicely but he's not adding that ssssh]
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... Do birds have tongues? I know they have beaks, but I am not sure if they have tongues. [ no he curiously uses his lanky fingers to try and tickle davesprite a little... ]
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... Wow are you serious, have you nevER-- [suddenly squawks at the sudden feel of STUPID NOT GOOD ANYMORE LANKY FINGERS TICKLING HIM watch Davesprite puff up in sudden surprise and yep swatting at him with a wing before wrapping both around his own figure and GLARING SO MUCH BEHIND SHADES
fuck you john egbert how dare you take advantage of his taken down defense to do that fuck you no more chances he is so mad!!!! ok that was embarrassing shit]
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Oh, God, you actually... You're really a bird, you... [ in between his gasped breaths are the familiar hehehehe that haunts anybody's dreams ]
That was so cool! Let's do it again.
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No, fuck you. [how can you find anything as embarrassing as that cool is beyond him]
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hehehehe
laugh
john why ]
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but code word YOU'RE EMBARRASSING HIM, all those times you should consider him cool you don't except for now???
he cannot handle. he grunts and huffs, but doesn't exactly pull away from the hug BUT EYEING THOSE HANDS CLOSELY you are not getting close to tickling him]
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No matter what anyone else tells me, you do not smell like pee.
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I'm just going to point out the fact you know how it smells at all. Are you sticking your face up close to pee, is that a thing you do.
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Anyway, some people on this ship might think you smell like pee, but that is because they are strange people. [ and he may have told them but that doesn't matter ]
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Unless someone went and gave them the idea. [ DON'T THINK HE'S BLIND TO YOUR PRANKING WAYS ]
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what if i stopped failing
you wouldn't be zetsu
legit truth right there
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