(no subject)

[majestyofthethrone]

How do you keep faith, here? How do you remember that God wants...how do you keep some kind of faith, keep from losing your mind with the things that happen to us?

My whole life I've heard God; all I had to do was listen and there He was, like music, like a symphony, and even when I was at the height of being terrified, there He was just working the notes of this great symphony. But then I followed that music, I followed Grigori, and I did something and now I can't hear anything, for the first time I've lost God and I just want Him back-

What if I did was unforgivable? What if saving another person isn't enough? What if what I did has stained my soul?

How do I keep believing that God loves me when I can't hear Him anymore?

How do you keep faith?

Comments

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[skjalf]

Would that there were a simple answer to that, my lady. My mother continues to read passages from her bible.

But I, myself have wondered whether or not my own prayers might reach the ears of the Almighty from so very far away.

permatext

[majestyofthethrone]

There aren't any answers in books, I never got a Bible, I keep playing the piano but everything comes out twisted and wrong.

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[cabins]

I don't believe in a singular God. I believe in the Lords of Kobol. Those who believe in the One God have previously been deemed terrorists where I came from.

I have spoken with the Gods. Chosen in one of their prophecies to lead the last of humanity to our new home, to the thirteenth colony. There are times when my faith has been tested. When I can no longer hear the Gods. I've come to believe that they are not literal beings, but rather, ideals. Symbols. Perhaps your God is finding ways to speak to you through others. I do not believe any God would turn their back on their people, not when they need them most.

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[majestyofthethrone]

I don't think He has turned his back on me. I think I have lost my Grace. I have lost it with an act so singularly filthy that there is nothing I can do to clean my hands of it.

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[jondrette]

HA!

God has turned his back on me. And so I have turned my back on him.

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[majestyofthethrone]

How does that help anyone?

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[20mentholkools]

If you needed to hear him, you didn't have it in the first place.

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[majestyofthethrone]

That doesn't help.

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[doggedly]

[Immediately skipping text and circular questions; this shit is too real for any of that--]

Where are you?

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[majestyofthethrone]

In the music room, I came back and I've been there since, I haven't left, really, just to occasionally get food, but I'm afraid if I leave the piano I won't be able to find my way back.

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[xerampelinae]

pray
he hears you

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[majestyofthethrone]

What if He replies and I have lost the ability to Hear?

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[dogbane]

Hello ma'am.

[He remembers her a little. Not exactly a friendship people will have written songs and poems about-- not a friendship at all, but she'd tried to help him once, when she didn't know him at all. Why not then, eh.]

I don't know fuck-all about keeping faith, but from what I'm seeing of y' post, this might be your first proper opportunity to harbor faith at all. Like courage, I'm told faith is one of those fings that've by definition got to persist in the absence of clear evidence that shit is going to work out. But there's payoff when it does. Anybody spun that rhetoric at you before?

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[majestyofthethrone]

I've heard what people say. When it comes to things like church.

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[falteringly]

[ Skipping all of the other details. If she wants to discuss faith with him at another time, then so be it. There's something more important he wants to address though. ]

What happened?

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[majestyofthethrone]

Castiel, Castiel, I can't hear anything, I feel-

Does He hate me? Can you ask Him? What if He hates me?

[ex_halberd259]

Do we need to hear the Gods to know they're all around us?

[ maybe christians are different. what this woman speaks of sounds more in line with things athelstan has said in the past. ]

"God will know", a Christian monk once told me. He believed that, and not because he could hear his God. Because he had faith.

[majestyofthethrone]

Some people need to. I need to.

I'm not good at faith. I'm good at mathematics. I deal in absolutes.

[yardbird]

Well, a lot of people spend their lives never hearing God's voice. Not really, anyway. That doesn't seem to stop them.

For me, I don't know. It's been a long time since I've tried to make my peace. I just like to think that there's a better place for... some of us.

Makes things easier.

[majestyofthethrone]

But how do they do it? Just accept it as truth?

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[atent_dead]

aint ever seen any sense in believin in gods
just encourages em to exist
and meddle

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[majestyofthethrone]

Not helpful.

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[acapriciousthing]

Belief is what gives gods their power. As long as you believe, your god has some measure of it, even here.

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[majestyofthethrone]

That's ridiculous.

[Text]

[vivelavenir]

Oh- Seraphim. Cherie, are you well?

Traditionally, it is when our faith is tested that we can best show our strength, and that when our love is far from us we miss is most. Trust that if you miss your nearness to God, he or she or it must miss it also miss his nearness to you.

You could never be stained.

[Text]

[majestyofthethrone]

I don't think I'm very strong.

video;

[stimulations]

[Josias doesn't know much about God, or faith, but he isn't inclined to just ignore a message like this when she seems so distraught.]

What is it you think you've done?

[And there, enough, is a sign that lost things can be regained.]

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[majestyofthethrone]

Your voice!