(no subject)

[majestyofthethrone]

How do you keep faith, here? How do you remember that God wants...how do you keep some kind of faith, keep from losing your mind with the things that happen to us?

My whole life I've heard God; all I had to do was listen and there He was, like music, like a symphony, and even when I was at the height of being terrified, there He was just working the notes of this great symphony. But then I followed that music, I followed Grigori, and I did something and now I can't hear anything, for the first time I've lost God and I just want Him back-

What if I did was unforgivable? What if saving another person isn't enough? What if what I did has stained my soul?

How do I keep believing that God loves me when I can't hear Him anymore?

How do you keep faith?

Comments

[dogbane]

Does that bring you comfort? [There's a faint squeak when he settles back in his chair.]

'S it renew your faith?

[majestyofthethrone]

It connects me to creation.

[dogbane]

Well fuck that's awhile back.

What could you've done that was so bloody shitty it could break bond like that?

[majestyofthethrone]

I don't...want to talk about it.

[dogbane]

Oh, of course. Sorry, love.

[majestyofthethrone]

Have you settled in?

tw language

[dogbane]

In between semi-regular shipwide disasters and vaguely personal cock-ups, yeh. It's really good how many folks is volunteering here in medical. Means the ship's yet to mind-control us all into behaving like cunts.

[SOMEday he'll get told off enough about language to stop.] Wish I could do somefing about the missing time, but I guess I 'aven't really enjoyed the fings I have remembered.

[majestyofthethrone]

Do you like music?

[dogbane]

Yeh. I know fuck-all about it, but it's a place to go.

[majestyofthethrone]

Do you want to listen to some?

[dogbane]

What the fuck, re--?

--I mean yes, [he catches himself.] That'd be brilliant. Will it mind control me into worshiping Jesus and his mum or anyfing?

[majestyofthethrone]

I'm not a Christian, I really don't have any interest in Jesus. It's not working right now anyway. I've been playing Sweet Child Of Mine for two hours.

[dogbane]

I fink I heard that one a few times. [His interest sounds sharp and bright, not a trace of false interest, but there are all sorts on the Tranquility.]

Was you going to switch to audio?

[majestyofthethrone]

[And then she does, and it really is Sweet Child of Mine]

[dogbane]

[There's only one interruption.]

Works well enough for me.

[And he'll stay on the line as long as he can. Any patients who have a problem with it aren't worth saving anyway]