(no subject)

[majestyofthethrone]

How do you keep faith, here? How do you remember that God wants...how do you keep some kind of faith, keep from losing your mind with the things that happen to us?

My whole life I've heard God; all I had to do was listen and there He was, like music, like a symphony, and even when I was at the height of being terrified, there He was just working the notes of this great symphony. But then I followed that music, I followed Grigori, and I did something and now I can't hear anything, for the first time I've lost God and I just want Him back-

What if I did was unforgivable? What if saving another person isn't enough? What if what I did has stained my soul?

How do I keep believing that God loves me when I can't hear Him anymore?

How do you keep faith?

Comments

video;

[stimulations]

[Josias doesn't know much about God, or faith, but he isn't inclined to just ignore a message like this when she seems so distraught.]

What is it you think you've done?

[And there, enough, is a sign that lost things can be regained.]

permatext;

[majestyofthethrone]

Your voice!

[stimulations]

Ah, yes.

[Chagrined, though not completely knocked off course from his concern.]

I apologise, I should have let you know. We had some success with the virus in my implant a few months back.

[majestyofthethrone]

That's great! It's really good, I'm really glad you got your voice back, Josias.

[stimulations]

Thank you.

[He smiles, though it's tinged softer at the corners.]

You were a great help to me, in coping with the loss. I'd hope that I could somehow return the support, someday.

[majestyofthethrone]

I'm so used to this now, but I'm glad you didn't have to be.

You don't owe me anything, though.

[stimulations]

Then let's not talk about it in terms of owing.

[majestyofthethrone]

...yeah, okay. I'll agree to that.

[stimulations]

So, would you like to talk? I can't claim I've ever been religious, but I might be able to help.

[majestyofthethrone]

I'm afraid.

[stimulations]

That you won't hear him again? Or that you're... unforgivable?

[majestyofthethrone]

Yes. Both.

[stimulations]

I may be wrong, but my perception's always been that God is meant to be merciful and loving. Do you really think you could have managed anything dreadful enough to break that?

[majestyofthethrone]

Sometime I listen and think he can't...just be love.

Maybe that's blasphemy.

[stimulations]

[His eyebrows lift slightly, not really one to be able to say what was blasphemous or not. Instead, he just considers her words.]

If he really is all he's meant to be, then it could be incredibly simplistic to call him just love. But then, love is incredibly complex in itself. Forgiveness is just a facet.

[majestyofthethrone]

Maybe the one who can't forgive is me.

[stimulations]

[That gets a more gentle look.]

That's something you can work on. Should work on.

[majestyofthethrone]

I don't know if I'm good at forgiveness.

[stimulations]

It can be hard to learn. But we're all capable of it.