(no subject)

[majestyofthethrone]

How do you keep faith, here? How do you remember that God wants...how do you keep some kind of faith, keep from losing your mind with the things that happen to us?

My whole life I've heard God; all I had to do was listen and there He was, like music, like a symphony, and even when I was at the height of being terrified, there He was just working the notes of this great symphony. But then I followed that music, I followed Grigori, and I did something and now I can't hear anything, for the first time I've lost God and I just want Him back-

What if I did was unforgivable? What if saving another person isn't enough? What if what I did has stained my soul?

How do I keep believing that God loves me when I can't hear Him anymore?

How do you keep faith?

Comments

[private][Text]

[majestyofthethrone]

I killed something.

[private][Text]

[vivelavenir]

You- I'm sorry, what?

Killed 'something'? A monster, you mean?

[private][Text]

[majestyofthethrone]

I don't know. I think that's what it was. It looked like a dog. I could have run.

But I didn't run.

[private][Text]

[vivelavenir]

Something in the hallways, do you mean? Were you attacked by it?

[private][Text]

[majestyofthethrone]

It was in a room, not in the hallway.

[private][Text]

[vivelavenir]

I see. And it attacked you, you felt threatened?

: [private][Text]

[majestyofthethrone]

It didn't...attack me.

[private][Text]

[vivelavenir]

What did happen then?

[private][Text]

[majestyofthethrone]

It attacked someone else.

[private][Text]

[vivelavenir]

Then you were merely protecting someone.

I can think of no greater deed of honour and courage. What you did was selfless, not monstrous.

[private][Text]

[majestyofthethrone]

Then why do I feel so terrible?

[private][Text]

[vivelavenir]

Because you have compassion- even for monsters and villains.

It's a lovely trait, though it must feel dour and wear upon you heavy.

[private][Text]

[majestyofthethrone]

I don't ever want to do something like that again.

[private][Text]

[vivelavenir]

I shall sincerely hope that you do not have to.

That you get no joy from what you did, even for a worthy cause, proves how very human you are. Nothing could be more Godly than that.

[private][Text]

[majestyofthethrone]

Do you think so? Really?

[private][Text]

[vivelavenir]

With all my heart I know it to be true.