ataraxion | 001: text;

GIVE YOURSELVES A PAT ON THE BACK.
JUST QUIT WHATEVER MUNDANE AND UNDOUBTEDLY RETARDED ACT YOU'RE FUCKFIRST IN THE MIDDLE OF COMMITTING, REACH AROUND, AND JUST PAT PAT PAT.
YOU (AND BY "YOU" I AM REFERRING TO WHOEVER CAN READ THIS WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE INVOLVED IN THE BULLSHIT OCCURRING THIS VERY MOMENT) DESERVE IT.
YOU'VE CLIMBED THIS WHOLE MOUNTAIN OF CREATIVITY AND BRAINSPONGE FAMINES, YOU HAVE EMBRACED THE DRAMATIC SCENERY, AND WHISPERED A STOUT BUT AFFIRMING "YES" INTO THE INFINITE DEPTHS OF METAPHORICAL VICTORY.
YOU ARE THE CHAMPION, MY FRIENDS.
YOU HAVE GONE WHERE NO MAN, WOMAN, TROLL, OR BABBY HAS EVER DARED TO GO BEFORE.

YOU HAVE TAKEN ME
KARKAT MOTHERFUCKING VANTAS
FROM A SPACE STATION
AND IN A FIT OF UNTOLD BRILLIANCE THAT WILL BE SUNG ABOUT FOR EONS TO COME
YOU HAVE MOVED ME TO A GODDAMN SPACE *SHIP*.

I AM STRAIGHT UP SHITHIVE ASTOUNDED.
WE ARE STILL IN SPACE.
IS IT THE SAME SPACE???
IS THERE SUCH A THING AS "SAME SPACE"???
WILL I EVER NOT BE STUCK ON A HUNK OF METAL IN SPACE????
WE JUST DON'T FUCKING KNOW.

GOD, I HATE SPACE.

SO BASICALLY
GREAT JOB, YOU USELESS PIECES OF DECOMPOSING SHIT.
COMMENT HERE, TELL ME A LITTLE ABOUT YOUR SUPERFLUOUS EXISTENCE (SIX WORDS OR LESS), AND ALLOW ME TO TAILOR MY PROJECTILE VOMITING TO FIT YOUR SPECIAL AND UNIQUE NEEDS.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Everything your wrote sounds like this!!!!!

[ permanently yelling now ]

What were you doing on a space station if you hate space?

Hate to break it to ya, but it's not like any of us actually picked you.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS, SINCE YOUR LACK OF KNOWLEDGE HINTS TO THE DEEPER TRUTHS OF A LACK OF LITERACY,
BUT EVERYTHING I WROTE?
DOESN'T SOUND LIKE SHIT.
BECAUSE I FUCKING *WROTE* IT!!!!
SECOND MOMENT OF ILLITERACY:
WHY THE FUCK AM I ON SPACE STATIONS, DESPITE HATING SPACE?
IT'S HILARIOUS HOW MUCH OF A CHOICE IN THE MATTER YOU THINK I HAD.
THE LACK OF MY FREE WILL HAS BEEN IMPLIED TIME AND TIME AGAIN THROUGHOUT EACH INDIVIDUAL GREY CAPSLOCK LETTER.
IT'S PRETTY FUCKING OBVIOUS.

I'M ALREADY LOVING THIS PLACE AND ITS POPULACE.
BUT ONLY IF THE VERB "LOVING" TRANSLATES TO "KILLING MYSELF WOULD BE PREFERABLE TO CONTINUING THIS CONVERSATION WITH YOU."
WHICH
WAIT SHIT THAT DOESN'T MAKE GRAMMATICAL SENSE.
FUCK.

UH
OK, HERE WE GO:
I'M ALREADY LOVING THIS PLACE AND ITS POPULACE.
BUT ONLY IF THE VERB "LOVING" TRANSLATES TO "ABSOLUTELY LOATHING."
MORE SIMPLISTIC, BUT MY HATE HAS BEEN NICELY OUTLINED, WHICH IS ALL THAT MATTERS.

BULLSHIT.

Okay, look, first off, there's no need to shout. There's no need to--utilize capitalization in a manner indicative of shouting.

Unless your--unless your capslock is stuck, which is...that's a possibility, now that I think about it. I'm sure there's someone willing to fix it for you, provided you ask nicely. That's the operative phrase, if you haven't guessed. Ask nicely.

Assuming, however, that your capslock is not stuck, you might want to just...you know. Take a few deep breaths, calm down. Yeah, space is--is less-than-ideal, sure, I'll give you that, but you'll be fine.

[sorry did you say six words or less]

THERE'S NOT A SINGLE THING YOU JUST SAID THAT I DON'T HATE WITH THE FURY OF A MILLION SUNS.

I don't even know who you are.
And you sound like you're like- twelve. [ okay hayley, pot. kettle. ] You're pretty much the last person I'd pick to help me survive crazy space adventures.

Uh, right, I'll just...go out on that limb and say your capslock is not stuck, then. You're not going to get any answers being rude though, if you were wondering. At all.

think i'd rather pat you on the head

SORRY that was more than 6 words!

AT WHAT POINT DID I ASK FOR ANSWERS, HUH?
THOSE QUESTIONS ARE PURELY RHETORICAL, AND THEIR ONLY PURPOSE IS TO HIGHLIGHT THE STUPIDITY I COME IN CONTACT WITH ON A DAILY BASIS.
WHICH, IN CASE IT COMPLETELY ZOOMED BY YOUR HEAD (WHICH I AM ASSUMING IS THE CASE) IS A LOT.
I FACE AN UNQUANTIFIABLE LEVEL OF STUPIDITY EVERY FUCKING DAY, AND IT'S BECAUSE OF BITCHES LIKE YOU.
BITCHES LIKE YOU *IN SPACE*.

WHO SAYS THIS IS ABOUT SURVIVAL?
HERE'S ME BETTING ALL MY CHITS AND BOONBUCKS AND WHATEVER CURRENCY MAY OR MAY NOT EXIST HERE--
THIS IS ALL ABOUT WATCHING ME SUFFER.
THERE ARE SEVERAL ENTITIES WITH THE APPARENT POWER TO MANIPULATE MY POOR LIFE CHOICES INTO UNIVERSE-LOCATION CHANGES, AND THEY'VE DISCOVERED THE OBVIOUS FACT THAT A KARKAT IN SPACE IS A TERRIBLE KARKAT INDEED.
A TERRIBLY ENTERTAINING KARKAT.
A TERRIBLY ENTERTAINING KARKAT WHO WANTS TO KILL EVERYTHING HE COMES IN CONTACT WITH BECAUSE COME THE FUCK ON I AM TIRED OF SPACE AT LEAST *TRY TO BE ORIGINAL*

...
DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME.
DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, CREEP.

If you don't want people to think you're asking questions, then don't tack excessive question marks onto every other sentence! Simple grammar, really.

And I'll have you know I am something of an expert on space, and being in space.

FUCK YOU????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????FUCK YOUR SPACE????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????FUCK EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER HELD DEAR?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????DIE IN A MURDER???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????ASSHOLE?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

IS THERE ANY QUESTION, GRAMMATICAL OR OTHERWISE, CONCERNING HOW MUCH LOATHING I HAVE FOR YOU?
HERE'S YOUR ANSWER: NOPE.
NOT AT ALL.
THAT'S THE POWER OF RHETORIC, MOTHERFUCKER.
SUCK IT.

Edited 2012-10-09 22:05 (UTC)

So basically you're saying- that we were all dragged here to keep you company?

NO, YOU ILLITERATE FAILURE.
I'M SAYING I DON'T ACTUALLY GIVE A SINGLE FLAMING SHIT AS TO WHY YOU ASSHOLES HAVE BEEN DRAGGED HERE.
BUT *I'VE* BEEN DRAGGED HERE SO OTHERS CAN WATCH ME SUFFER, WHICH IS PRETTY FUCKING OBVIOUS CONSIDERING MY PREVIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES.

Your summary sucks.

[No really. He has no idea what the message is supposed to be here, and he's not about to read all that.]

Figured out how t'use our new network thingamajigs, didja?

OF COURSE I DID.
I'M PRETTY FUCKING AWESOME WHEN IT COMES TO TECHNOLOGY AND BULLSHIT.
UNLIKE SOME ASSHOLES I KNOW *THIS IS ME IMPLYING YOU*.

SO, UH
THERE'S NO ONE ELSE HERE.
THAT'S FROM SACROSANCT.
I'VE ASKED AROUND, AND IF MY GREY CAPSLOCK RAGE DOESN'T ATTRACT THEM, I DON'T THINK THEY EXIST.
WE'RE THE ONLY ONES, AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT I'M THINKING?
WHICH IS WEIRD AS SHIT.

GOOD THING IT WASN'T A SUMMARY, JACKSHIT.
HOW ABOUT YOU LEARN TO FUCKING READ?
I SWEAR TO GOD, THE LITERACY RATE OF THIS PLACE IS IN THE GODDAMN NEGATIVES.
YOU PEOPLE KNOW HOW TO NEGATIVE READ, WHICH ISN'T EVEN A *THING*.

My bad. Forgot multiple universes revolve around an angsting twelve year old.

Well, carry on then.

I'M SIX AND A HALF SWEEPS, PUNKASS MOTHERFUCKER.
HOW ABOUT YOU CHECK YOUR SPACE RACIST PRIVILEGED?
NOT EVERYONE USES YOUR SHITTY HUMAN YEARS! [ note how he is not denying the fact that everything revolves around him. ]

Human made ship, human's get to pick the years.

Tough break, I know. But hey there're a bunch of other trolls on board, so you'll have company at least.

Not gonna argue that. Technology an' me ain't the greatest mix.

S'what I'm gettin', too. Asked 'round 'bout if anyone's mentioned the station here. Could be worse, least there's no Hypatia here.

FIVE CHITS SAYS THERE'S SOMETHING WORSE THAN HYPATIA HERE.

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