ataraxion | [video] 002

[video] 002

_{[ Hi Tranquility. Are you ready dor a mouthfull? Cause you're getting it. Feed clicks on to show America, apparently just out of his jumpsuit and in his boxers. He's just seated on his bed, hair tousled a bit, evidently not very concerned about his appearance even though he's addressing who knows how many people. He's too lazy to get up. He's eating out of a bag of chips that he found aboard the ship when exploring the facilities; that is what he spent all day doing.
Giving the communicator a bit of a salute, he says something incoherent with his mouth full before flashing a grin. ]}

HEEEEEY YOU GUYS. EVENING, DUDES, THIS IS YOUR HERO SPEAKING. GOT SOME IMPORTANT TO SAY. You better listen up, I've also got a surprise for you all! _{[ He adjusts his posture, throat clearing. ]}

Hahaha, righto! SO! If you are unfamiliar with EARTH, or whatever, I've been awesomely awesome as usual and drew myself a map for you dudes so you can understand the very, VERY, important things about the Earth I've graciously drawn out for you. Yeah, I'm a nice guy! Hahahaaha! So, here we go! It looks something like THIS, are you ready?? Tony, bro, if you will please!

_{[ A little grey alien jumps into view, holding up a piece of paper which looks like this: ]}

HAHAA. RIGHT, so that totally accurate cause I drew it! Everything circled is MINE, and I pointed out my dick cause it has the HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH! This is for you slackers that didn't pay attention to American geography class for whatever reason!! Hahaha, so! On the subject of my dick, _{[ pointing to the map as he say all of this ]} I'll just segway as to why THIS IS MY DICK. If you don't know what the shit I'm talking about, I'M GONNA EXPLAIN. _{[ A brief pause to stuff some chips in his mouth and he speaks, lips smacking before swallowing. ]}

--So, I figure I'll be the heroic one and take responsibility here. I'm gonna break something to you all just in case you hear country names being thrown around and you're all: Oh my GOD WHAT THE SHIT!?!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE ALFRED, OH GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING.
RIIIIIIIGHT, chill out, here's the low-down. Some of us you may talk to are the embodiments of our respectable countries we're being called. We're like the spirits of our countries like some crazy Miyazaki film or something. SO YEAH YOU HEARD ME. YEAH IT'S MIND-BLOWING, INNIT? BUT YOU KNOW THIS WHOLE THING IS MIND-BLOWING,. I MET CAPTAIN KIRK WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE FICTIONAL, SO WHATEVER, DUDE. And we have human names just for kicks, and when we gotta use them for living out normal life shit or something. [ He picks at his nose slightly before continuing. ]
Uh, okay, RIGHT SOMETHING COOL: Apparently people also can be from different timelines and alternate dimensions and it's REALLY FUCKING FAR OUT AND AWESOME! BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT BESIDES THE FACT YOU MAY BE FROM OUR WORLD, OR YOU MAY NOT.

Anyway, back on the subject of us, basically we're all really, really important and have a degree of immortality and super strength and stamina last I checked! The citizens and the government make us up, parts of the landmass coincide with parts on our body, etccc, etccc, yadda yadda. So far there are only four of us I've seen on this ship! We're hundreds of years old, we age differently, we die differently, we've fought in wars, we've done responsibilities that you don't even KNOW OF, MAN. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.

OKAY SOOOOO, ONTO THE INTROS I'll introduce!
If you see a girl that thinks she has a dick, has long hair with a flower in it sometimes, that's Hungary! Maybe you know her as Elizaveta. F.Y.I, J.S.Y.K HISTORY LESSON: She used to be married to this dude named Austria, or Roderich if you give a shit about European history, which I really don't!! Haha! He's here and he has glasses and is like a pansy. They're both from the 1950's for some reason! WHICH REALLY BLOWS MY MIND CAUSE HOLY SHIT IT'S LIKE BACK TO THE FUTURE.
Hahaha! Right! And the other one is Natalia, or Belarus. If you meet a crazy lady that wants to marry her brother, that's her and you should just.. be careful. She's former USSR and scary as shit. She's from the year crazy and will ALWAYS be there. Basically I gotta say about her; just be cautious, even if she's hot. Don't give into her hotness, she'll lure you in like a she-devil and propaganda your shit out.

_{[ A bit of laughter, sounding a bit nervous if anything, he throws his head back. ]}

HAHAHA! SO ANYWAY, DUDES. There's one of us for every country! Isn't that kind of AWESOME?? Other country guys that I haven't seen are England. You can tell by his massive eyebrows and Simon Cowell I-hate-my-life personality that he is England and I kicked his ass in the Revolution. Juuuuust thought I'd throw that out there for you people that aren't familiar with anything pertaining to America. Never try anything he cooks, and he hallucinates fairies and shit. Just ignore that; he's loony--
If you see a guy with a fat face, fat nose, fat ass, fat stomach, that's Russia, or Ivan! He's stupid and you shouldn't like him. Why? Well, he's a Communist power hungry dick and I beat his ass in the Cold War! [ no you didn't ] Yeah, I know I'm cool.
Oh! And one more I'll talk about. if you see a dude that looks like lady with blond hair and a thick accent, you should just run! That's the Frenchie, or Francis, and he smells like garlic and he's basically a pervert. Aaaaaall you gotta know about him. Those are just a few of us! But like I said, I've only seen Hungary, Austria, and Belarus.

_{[ A beat, he takes a deep breath. ]}

SO LAY IT ON ME, DUDES AND DUDETTES. Am I making myself clear? Get it? Map of the earth? We're the embodiments of that? We're the SHIT COOOOOOL AWESOME? DISNEYWORLD IS ON MY DICK???

HAAHAA, SO. If you have any questions regarding this, feel free to contact me!
This is Alfred F. Jones, the United States of America......
OVER AND OUT!!!!

_{[ THE MOST CONFUSING EXPLANATION EVER, BUT HERE YOU GO. ]}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

... Really? I mean, dude. Come on. I worked hard on it.
I mean, I included you in there... somewhere...kind of... in the whole Euro-pile right there.
It's there. I mean.
I thought of you when I drew Europe.

_{[ lol no he didn't. ]}

Tell another lie straight to my face, go ahead, I dare you. Give me more reason to beat the shit out of you, Alfred.

What do you mean another lie? Since WHEN have I been lying--!?

You sure as hell know you weren't thinking about me in any way, shape, or form. So cut the crap and stop acting like you're in charge of everything. Getting sick of it, hell, I'd even take Ivan over you right about now.

_{[ ... ]}

You wouldn't. I mean... ouch!!?!?-- woah man. Especially since you're from, you know.
That kind of period...

What the hell am I doing that's making you SO PISSED? You haven't been happy not even ONCE on this ship that I've noticed.

.... Well.

Besides that glance you gave Austria over the video.

Yeah, I'm from that time. I deal with the bastard on a day-to-day basis, you've only had to deal with him occasional or when he's helping you in a war. Do you know what a fucking disaster he really is?

And I'm not happy because you're being a loud, obnoxious, idiotic child.

Even as my ex, he's still someone I've spent a lot of time around. I'd be jut as excited if, say, Feliks showed up.

_{[ He folds his knees to his chest, biting at his nails, contemplating. ]}

Yeah, okay whatever.

If I'm totally honest with you, I'd sort of be happy if anybody else showed up. I mean, besides Russia. I don't care. But I want to talk to people I can associate with, you know?

It's not like I'm lonely, so don't think that! It's just annoying having to explain this to people I've never met before.

God, you really are just a kid sometimes, aren't you? Look, none of us want to be here and we all want someone we're familiar with to be here along with us. I'm glad Roderich is here, yes, but it's been years since the two of us have even communicated and it's... awkward, you know?

But if you'll stop covering all of that up by being an obnoxious ass, we'll all get along better. I appreciate explaining what the hell we are to people, but the way you did it is kind of... jerk-ish.

_{[ He's ignoring your insults, la dee da. ]}

How is it jerkish? Dude, I took the time to explain WHO you are to everyone and even those that I haven't seen on this ship yet!

I could have just talked about myself the entire time, but you know. I didn't. I thought I'd be nice and introduce you guys so you don't have to.

So like. Whatever.
It's the truth. You're like, a manly woman. And you wear flowers in your hair.
Austria plays his pianos and such and I think that's just like.. okay a pansy instrument.
And REALLY, do I have to explain Belarus? She's like fucking hot, but she's always threatening everyone!

It's jerkish because you made all of us sound absolutely terrible and did nothing but make yourself look better. I don't go around saying I have a dick, it was just a misunderstanding when I was a child. I know that I'm a woman, thank you very much.

Austria's piano playing is not a pansy thing, do remember that the most well known composed music is from his people and piano music on top of that. That and pianist fingers are quite a thing to have, whether you would understand that or not.

... We do not talk about Belarus. ~~But she is quite hot, yes. And isn't any less violent in my time.~~

Well, OKAY, fine, sorry. Apparently I cannot do anything right, so that's that.

_{[ he's shifting to roll on his stomach as well, pillow tucked under his chin as he falls suspiciously quiet, merely picking at one of the corners of his pillow.

YEP. ABSOLUTELY A CHILD. ]}

Would you honestly just listen to those of us that are older than you for just once, please? Something you're thinking of might just be something we've tried before and found out it failed or is something that can be done better in a different way. That's really all I'm trying to say.

Will you just kind of listen to the fact I kind of know what I'm talking about...
at least sometimes? Stop acting like being old makes you leader of the world, cause it doesn't.

I'm the leading superpower. I'm from the future. There are things and discoveries you don't know anything about it.
So.

Here's how it goes.
You know more about some shit, and I know more about other shit. We have expertise in different things, I guess, or something.

_{[ Still messing with the edge of his pillow, nooooot looking at her, cheeks puffed. ]}

Maybe I'm just sick and tired of everybody blaming me for this and that and I really want do get us out of here to like, I don't know, redeem whatever I did wrong to everyone.

_{[ he's socially incompetent, OBVIOUSLY, and he's referencing more than just interactions here on the ship.
Something about him seems a little more sincere when he's talking like this, and he just half shrugs cause he doesn't like it. He doesn't like admitting things or being vulnerable.
He rolls on his side, back facing the communicator now. ]}

I never said that you didn't, I never said that I knew anything about this space nonsense. Because, honestly, I don't. Hell, most of the stuff I'm seeing around here has me absolutely baffled, I'm playing everything by ear right now.

Alfred, what's your number. I don't think this is something you want the whole ship knowing, is it? And maybe I can help a bit, considering I'm at least a somewhat familiar face that won't stab you?

_{[ He's quiet for a moment, then half shrugs again. ]}

.... ₁₇₆.
I guess like.. 1776... which is just hella weird.

I'll be there in a minute or two, don't you run off on me, understood?

Where would I run off to.
I've been running around all day.

_{[ says this as he rolls on his back, sprawling out slightly. ]}

Alfred?

_{[ There's a silence. America cracks open the door, blanket huddled around him. He sticks his nose out, looking at her. ]}

--How do I know you're not going to hurt me, huh? You've been threatening to kill me several times already and I don't know why besides the fact MAYBE I am being loud but it's just for the safety and convenience of everyone.

Do I look like I'm going to hurt you right now? Honestly, I'm just here to talk and I'm saving you some of your "manliness" by doing so face-to-face instead of a place where people can follow along.

_{[ ... ]}

You sort of look like you want to halfway seduce me; but then go into battle in space. I don't know which is sexier.

_{[ He speaks this nonchalantly, pinching the bridge of his nose. He steps back then over to his bed, but doesn't get on it. He instead sits on the floor with his back against his bed. ]}

I don't need like any comforting though. But.. company is cool, I guess.

I sincerely hope that was a joke, because you don't stand a chance, you know. I only like the sophisticated types.

Are you sure about that? You seemed awfully upset about everything, I don't bite. Well, not unless you as me nicely, I guess.

_{[ He pulls the blanket around himself, up over his neck, around his ears. He really is a piggy in a blanket.
A sigh. ]}

I'm not too awfully upset. I just want to get people back home more than anything else, really.

_{[ so he can get glory but you don't need to know that he's supposed to appear really, really caring!!!! ]}

_{I kind of wish England was here. Maybe even France.}
Nothing personal, but I just have better relations with them.

Carrying on how you were isn't going to get anyone home and will divide people more than it will unite them.

... No harm done, though why anyone would want France around is a great question, don't you think? Personally, I'd rather just be done with this place and back home. It sucks, sure, but at least it's something familiar and something I know how to deal with...

Yeah, but nobody will listen to me unless I'm loud enough.

France has helped me in the past a lot. He and my newest president are getting along. Yeaaaah, he's a smelly stuck up guy but he's beneficial to my interests. His food is good too when it's something normal.

Don't get me wrong; both England and France are dicks, but we do a lot of business together so I'm used to them.

_{[ He leans his head all the way back to rest it on the bed. ]}

And you cannot tell anybody that. Everybody has to know I'm totally fine. Cause I mean, nothing is a big deal anyway, j.s.y.k.

...

That stands for just so you know.

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