Hello, Tranquility. I am SHODAN.

Perhaps this has been discussed amongst those of you previously inhabiting this ship, but I'm looking for more definite information about these 'jumps' I've heard so much about. If anyone knows what happens during them, specifically...

[ SHODAN's reaching out to a wider audience at this point. Get to know the preypassengers aboard and what not; Obtain some useful knowledge in the meantime. ]

[The camera clicks on. Sma is sitting in her quarters, smiling. She's had some time to get her feet under her and now feels up to introducing herself.]

Hello, Tranquility. [Still amused by the stodginess of the ship name.] It seems like the thing to do is introduce oneself, so—my name's Diziet Sma. A very nice ship you have here, I must say.

I'm something of a veteran of space travel, although my usual bailiwick is diplomacy and arts patronage—and I doubt there's much call for that here. But if there's anything I can do to make myself useful, I'd be glad to help.

[A pause, and then she seems to come to a sort of decision.]

And if there is anyone here who knows what I mean when I refer to the civilisation known as the Culture, I'd like to meet you.

[Because even if it's an enemy, she'd like to know about it. And on the off-chance that another Culture citizen is here, bonus.]

SON OF A BITCH!

[Surely no one on the Tranquility has motion sickness. If you do, sorry about the view you're getting of a very shaky camera feed of Wilee pedaling as his life depended on it down the halls of the ship, cutting sharp corners like a pro. It's obvious he's scared out of his wits by something. Maybe it's Smiley, finally showing up in person. Maybe it's some space monster that somehow managed to get on the ship. Maybe it's...

...an angry turkey. Well, that explains the fear. That shit is scary. It looks angry as it flaps its wings and chases after Wilee, no matter how fast he pedals. Fuck you, human on a bike. It wants to peck your eyes out.]

WHY ARE YOU CHASING ME? I WILL TURN YOU INTO A SANDWICH, SWEAR TO GOD. I'M TIRED OF SHIT COMING AFTER ME.