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SON OF A BITCH!

[Surely no one on the Tranquility has motion sickness. If you do, sorry about the view you're getting of a very shaky camera feed of Wilee pedaling as his life depended on it down the halls of the ship, cutting sharp corners like a pro. It's obvious he's scared out of his wits by something. Maybe it's Smiley, finally showing up in person. Maybe it's some space monster that somehow managed to get on the ship. Maybe it's...

...an angry turkey. Well, that explains the fear. That shit is scary. It looks angry as it flaps its wings and chases after Wilee, no matter how fast he pedals. Fuck you, human on a bike. It wants to peck your eyes out.]

WHY ARE YOU CHASING ME? I WILL TURN YOU INTO A SANDWICH, SWEAR TO GOD. I'M TIRED OF SHIT COMING AFTER ME.

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[This is Tommy just lauuuughing and laughing and laughing.]

[Shut up, dick. Wilee doesn't have time to deal with you right now. Aren't you supposed to stay away from him anyway?]

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[ man roxy's gettin' around ]

You could perhaps try laying in a fetal position, as one would with a bear attack.

What?

[Sorry. Biking too hard to hear your snark clearly.]

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nobrakes - 2012-10-15 01:08 (UTC) - Expand

Holy shit, what am I looking at?

[Seriously? You're looking for an explanation at a time like this, Karkat? Fine.]

What does it look like? A rabid turkey!

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not here;

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not here;

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[ Insert thunderous mocking laughter here. ] Are you running from a stupid bird? What pussy! [ swedishlaugh.mp3 ]

Edited 2012-10-14 23:17 (UTC)

[Aye. Aye! We're going to stop calling Wilee names because if it was you, you'd be running too. That beak is sharp.]

This shit has rabies and it's from hell. I'm not gonna fuck around and get pecked to death.

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[he laughs, he can't help himself.]

Someone needs to get that thing under control.

[He's getting real tired of people laughing at him. If they saw how the thing pecked his ankles with a voracity, they wouldn't giggle.]

Why is there a turkey on a spaceship anydamnway?

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You know magic?

I wish I did.

[Poof! Incredible disappearing turkey!]

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[ Sorry, he's just going to sit here and laugh. ]

[When you guys face down this turkey, he will laugh at you and ya'll will want him to stop. WATCH.]

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WHOA!!

[JESUS H. CHRIST THAT'S A BIG TURKEY

CHASING YOU?? IS IT A DANGEROUS BIRD OF PREY IN DISGUISE??]

DO YOU WANT ME TO PUNCH IT REALLY HARD IN THE NECK FOR YOU??

[I'LL DO IT! I'LL DO IT AND GET POINTS! DOUBLE DIGITS!]

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Holy christ, how the fuck did this place turn into the goddamn Ark while I was gone? There weren't turkeys and bear-dogs and dinosaurs three months ago.

Don't ask me. I just got here. I haven't even seen the dinosaur yet and I don't fucking want to.

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[What is this? Kaylee isn't sure if she should be horrified or amused.]

What'd you do to make it mad?

[Be the only person who isn't laughing at his woes, Kaylee.]

Nothing! I was just walking my bike down the hall and it attacked!

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[This is a laughing Jack Sparrow.]

Ah! So that's what it looks like, eh?

[ Excuse SHODAN who is enjoying this scene far too much. Nothing more entertaining than seeing an insect being wildly chased by a ferocious predator.

Oooohhhh maaaaaaaan, she's not even sure if she wants to ruin this just yet by speaking. Maybe just one more minute... ]

[ Okay. She's ready now. ]

Having some trouble, human...?

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hatethehacker - 2012-10-18 02:40 (UTC) - Expand

...are you seriously afraid of a bird?

This bird, man. This bird.

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