one | video | but all the hustlers, they love it just to see one of us make it

[jagerin]

[ dear tranquility. welcome to the network semi-debut of the hansel & gretel show. it starts with a semi-out of focus image of gretel as she adjusts the device to get both her and her brother (who should look familiar to some) in the picture. their weapons are visible in the background (it’s hard to miss a triple-action crossbow and a giant, phallic gun), but hansel blocks them from view as gretel has him stand next to her. she takes a moment to lean in and inspect it, frowning as she stands back and looks toward him. ]


I think it’s on. I’m still not sure how this thing works half the time.


[ taking a moment to eye the device with some obvious disdain, hansel turns his attention to gretel as she speaks, shrugging in response. can you guess which of the two of them decided to make this post? ]


How the fuck should I know? I still say this is a waste of time.


You might know if you bothered learning how to use it. [ jackass.


it’s a response that has him grinning now, though he does his best to hide it when he turns back to the device again. ]


So, you want to start?


[ gretel rolls her eyes, but resists the urge to smack him upside the head as she turns her attention back to the device. ]


All right. Hi, everyone. My name is Gretel and this [ she nods towards her brother ] is Hansel. We’re new arrivals to the ship, and we’ve heard that there’s need for the kind of services we provide.


We’re witch hunters. [ in case the weapons weren’t a giveaway ] So while you may not have the exact same kind of shit here we deal with back home, we know what we’re doing. [ see, he can be helpful here too, gretel. sometimes. ]


So if you run into anything you want taken care of, or if you think there may be leftover creatures in the darker sections of the ship, [ yes, she’s done her research (or as much as she could through the device) ] let us know. [ there’s a beat, and she glances toward hansel before speaking up again. ]


Also, if there’s anyone we can talk to from medical - [ well, he knows exactly where she’s going with this. so sorry sis, but that makes it time for him to take his leave temporarily. this is one topic he really doesn’t want to discuss on this network thing


gretel just glares at hansel’s retreating form before turning back to the device. ] - we need to do that as soon as possible. Thanks for your time.



ooc; purple = gretel; green = hansel. as a heads up to anyone replying, you’ll undoubtedly be doubleteamed by the pair. if you specifically only want to speak to one character (or have two individual threads), just give us a warning!

ETA: and yes, fourth-walling the fairy tale is welcome and encouraged.

Comments

[theshabbiestofmen]

If you start hunting us, you might run into a problem or two.

[jagerin]

[ good witches aren't unheard of (though they still don't know much about them, except that gretel herself is one, but dark or light, they tend to be female. gretel glances toward her brother before addressing remus. ]

Witches tend to work a little differently where we're from.

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[okayokay]

There's better stories than that. Like Peter and Wendy.

[jagerin]

Who?

text;

[puppydogeyes]

You don't hunt any of the passengers.

video;

[jagerin]

[ gretel's response comes in video - sorry, tyke, she's still figuring out how electricity works. ]

No. Just what we've heard was in the ship - manticores, I heard they were called?

video;

[gilding]

[Well, this one's a turn for the bizarre. You guys are a lot bigger and more foul-mouthed than he last saw.]

And how is it you hunt witches, exactly? Follow the smell of gingerbread?

video;

[eradicant]

[a wise guy, huh? there's always one. it's just too bad that hansel's never been the most patient guy out there.]

We follow the trail of missing kids. There's always one behind it all.

video;

[jagerin]

[ wait until they hear they're not the only version of themselves out there. ]

It's usually a little messier than that.

[audio]

[justabitoffun]

Witch hunters... [Said simply with some amusement.]

permavideo;

[eradicant]

Thought we already made that clear.

permavideo;

[jagerin]

Yes.

[ well, he doesn't seem angry, but that he sounds amused instead is interesting. ]

[voice]

[yardbird]

Hansel and Gretel...

Seriously? That's your names.

[Completely ignoring the whole "witch hunter" stuff because apparently that is more interesting to Murphy.]

permavideo;

[eradicant]

Yeah. You got a problem with that?

Video;

[countermand]

[Frown. Squint.] ...Like the fairytale? Man, you had shitty parents.

[jagerin]

[ why do people keep calling it a fairy tale ]

What do you know about it?

[ no really, she wants to hear what he's heard. ]

voice;

[secretlabtech]

[ Seriously? ]

You shouldn't be pursuing those creatures anywhere. They're dangerous, and even if they weren't, the ship is.

What do you need from Medical?

video;

[jagerin]

Are you from medical?

[ because she's not about to discuss hansel's condition with someone who's not. ]

Video

[skindeep]

Hansel and Gretel.

Well, the two of you have certainly grown up.

[jagerin]

[ exasperated sigh ]

That's what we keep hearing.

Video

[servant]

Uhm. How do you know when someone's a witch? What if they've left their pointy hat at home?

[Yes, he's making jokes. It's still a little unnerving to have witch hunters on board.]

[jagerin]

For the kind that we hunt, it's pretty difficult to hide. A rot starts to develop in the skin, teeth, and eyes, and if they've been practicing long enough they start to look totally unrecognizable. There are types of witches that can disguise what they are, but if you've been working for as long as we have, you learn to look for the signs that are less obvious.

[slipperysoul]

And if you went looking, you're sure you'd be able to find them? The leftover creatures, I mean.

[jagerin]

Not yet. We're trying to figure out everything we can before we go in - where they've been seen, how to best take them out, what they hunt, that kind of thing.

video;

[seductions]

Why only witch hunters? More love for all of the other things that go bump in the night?

[ manticores aside, it seems. not that she particularly cares for witches (or manticores, for that matter); while useful, almost every witch she's encountered has been a huge pain in her ass, but hunters are always relevant to her interests and a potential threat (which, of course, ranks more highly than fully conveying her amusement at their names, but she might still be laughing on the inside). ]

Color me curious.

video; oh my g o d i love you

[jagerin]

Our work isn't exclusive to witches, but back where we're from, they're the ones who tend to cause the most damage. They'll kidnap children, spoil crops and kill livestock, and cause destruction and chaos for fun.

video; i couldn't resist

[loyalpup]

[Tom looks very concerned. He was raised a hunter and is damn good at it, but on this ship he just gets to be normal Tom. Well, normal aside from once a month]

You hunt more than witches? I mean, we got all sorts here and they don't need ta be hunted.

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[eradicant]

Witches are our speciality. But if it's out there killing people, we'll hunt it.

[northerner]

Take care what you attempt to hunt. Not everyone aboard is going to welcome your services.

[ after squabbling with dean for a couple months robb's kneejerk reaction to anyone calling themself a hunter is less than favorable. ]

[eradicant]

We only hunt killers. If they don't want us hunting them, then they'd better not paint a target on their own backs.

text;

[altercate]

Heard from where?

video;

[eradicant]

[go away with your texting bullshit good sir]

This thing. [just gonna...prod the network device. look he doesn't do technology okay]

video;

[darkforce]

Are you planning on heading out there to find the creatures?

[meanwhile hansel will just be elsewhere cause i'm not sad enough to rp with myself]

video;

[jagerin]

That was the idea, yeah.

[ ha i was actually thinking of having natasha talk to hansel ]

voice »

[surrogates]

I think just about everyone's already covered it but witch hunters. You might run into a problem or a few just with that.

No offense.

voice »

[jagerin]

Yeah, we noticed. [ and her idiot brother isn't doing much to help with that. ] But we're not going to start shooting the passengers.

voice »

[hypospray]

[ everyone's already covered the rest, so let's just go for the biggy. ]

I don't know can you talk to anyone from medical? [ a beat. ] What'd you need?

voice »

[jagerin]

[ fuck your grammar okay ]

It's something we'd prefer discussing in person. [ since gretel can't do encryptions for shit. ]