one | video | but all the hustlers, they love it just to see one of us make it

[jagerin]

[ dear tranquility. welcome to the network semi-debut of the hansel & gretel show. it starts with a semi-out of focus image of gretel as she adjusts the device to get both her and her brother (who should look familiar to some) in the picture. their weapons are visible in the background (it’s hard to miss a triple-action crossbow and a giant, phallic gun), but hansel blocks them from view as gretel has him stand next to her. she takes a moment to lean in and inspect it, frowning as she stands back and looks toward him. ]


I think it’s on. I’m still not sure how this thing works half the time.


[ taking a moment to eye the device with some obvious disdain, hansel turns his attention to gretel as she speaks, shrugging in response. can you guess which of the two of them decided to make this post? ]


How the fuck should I know? I still say this is a waste of time.


You might know if you bothered learning how to use it. [ jackass.


it’s a response that has him grinning now, though he does his best to hide it when he turns back to the device again. ]


So, you want to start?


[ gretel rolls her eyes, but resists the urge to smack him upside the head as she turns her attention back to the device. ]


All right. Hi, everyone. My name is Gretel and this [ she nods towards her brother ] is Hansel. We’re new arrivals to the ship, and we’ve heard that there’s need for the kind of services we provide.


We’re witch hunters. [ in case the weapons weren’t a giveaway ] So while you may not have the exact same kind of shit here we deal with back home, we know what we’re doing. [ see, he can be helpful here too, gretel. sometimes. ]


So if you run into anything you want taken care of, or if you think there may be leftover creatures in the darker sections of the ship, [ yes, she’s done her research (or as much as she could through the device) ] let us know. [ there’s a beat, and she glances toward hansel before speaking up again. ]


Also, if there’s anyone we can talk to from medical - [ well, he knows exactly where she’s going with this. so sorry sis, but that makes it time for him to take his leave temporarily. this is one topic he really doesn’t want to discuss on this network thing


gretel just glares at hansel’s retreating form before turning back to the device. ] - we need to do that as soon as possible. Thanks for your time.



ooc; purple = gretel; green = hansel. as a heads up to anyone replying, you’ll undoubtedly be doubleteamed by the pair. if you specifically only want to speak to one character (or have two individual threads), just give us a warning!

ETA: and yes, fourth-walling the fairy tale is welcome and encouraged.

Comments

[theshabbiestofmen]

If you start hunting us, you might run into a problem or two.

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[okayokay]

There's better stories than that. Like Peter and Wendy.

[jagerin]

[ good witches aren't unheard of (though they still don't know much about them, except that gretel herself is one, but dark or light, they tend to be female. gretel glances toward her brother before addressing remus. ]

Witches tend to work a little differently where we're from.

[jagerin]

Who?

[theshabbiestofmen]

Then I suggest you learn. We've wizards and witches here, good people, and I'm not about to see us hunted down because you're prejudiced.

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[puppydogeyes]

You don't hunt any of the passengers.

[eradicant]

[a few weeks ago and he'd have a very different answer here. but between mina and their mother- well, things have changed a little.]

We stop killers. If they don't want us going after them, then need to make sure they don't give us a reason to.

[theshabbiestofmen]

They won't. We won't. But don't-- don't target us specifically because of what we are.

[jagerin]

[ gretel holds her hands out, trying to make eye contact as best she can on screen. ]

We're not hunting anyone down who doesn't harm others. But we heard of creatures deeper within the ship that were attacking people.

[theshabbiestofmen]

[Remus takes a deep breath.]

Yes. The monsters. They're-- I can give you information on those. But you have to be careful. If all you intend is to harm those who kill others, fine, but-- you can't phrase it like that. We've many different sorts of people on here, and none of them deserve death.

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[jagerin]

[ gretel's response comes in video - sorry, tyke, she's still figuring out how electricity works. ]

No. Just what we've heard was in the ship - manticores, I heard they were called?

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[gilding]

[Well, this one's a turn for the bizarre. You guys are a lot bigger and more foul-mouthed than he last saw.]

And how is it you hunt witches, exactly? Follow the smell of gingerbread?

[jagerin]

We'll work on our sales pitch next time. But in the meantime, what can you tell me about the monsters?

[ a beat. ]

And if you don't mind, what can you tell me about the kind of witch you are?

[eradicant]

You've got the warning. We only hunt the child killers.

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[eradicant]

[a wise guy, huh? there's always one. it's just too bad that hansel's never been the most patient guy out there.]

We follow the trail of missing kids. There's always one behind it all.

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[jagerin]

[ wait until they hear they're not the only version of themselves out there. ]

It's usually a little messier than that.

[theshabbiestofmen]

They're . . . well. Here.

[A link!]

You should be able to click that. It'll give you more information on events that have happened, and the creatures that lurk around here. But they're-- well. I've encountered rats that carry some sort of disease; a mist that made you experience all your nightmares and fears; giant dog-like creatures that had a shocking amount of bloodlust.

As for me--

[He rubs the back of his neck.]

I'm not a witch, I'm a wizard. Gender and all. But-- ah-- well, I'm from England. 1975. I've been a wizard since I was born; both my parents are magically gifted as well. Only a few thousand people in my world have the gift, but it's regarded as just that-- a gift. We're trained from age eleven to seventeen on how to use our powers. I have a wand that helps me harness mine, but I-- like every other magical person-- can do rather broad magic without it, especially if I'm feeling strong emotion, like anger or fear.

[theshabbiestofmen]

Are there many witches who do that in your world?

[eradicant]

Yeah. All of them.

[it takes a little more effort than he'd like not to glance across at gretel. she may not practice magic, but there's a reason it'd been her heart muriel was after]

[okayokay]

Peter Pan. Flying and having fun's the story I'd pick. There's enough bad people already without making them witches.

[jagerin]

You're not wrong. But that doesn't mean witches don't still exist.

[eradicant]

[what...are you talking about, kid? no really. who's peter pan and what does he have to do with witches?

no, he's just going to peer at the feed a moment before stepping away to leave it to gretel to deal with for now. sorry sis]

[theshabbiestofmen]

Why?

[okayokay]

Here. But everything's fucked up so what's new.

But you're too old for any of those names, anyway.

[okayokay]

[Don't blame the messenger, weirdo.]