[ video/action ] locked away from fempan

[fourseasons]

[The camera turns on to reveal Japan in what seems to be the oxygen gardens. A place he can enjoy, though his face does hold a bit of concern.]

Greetings, everyone. If we have yet to speak, I will repeat once more that I am the State of Japan. That is to say, there seems to be an issue in various cases of people sharing names, faces, or perhaps identities as a whole, but... [He shifts, realizing he's rambling a little too much.]

I suppose I am trying to say that there is someone here who goes by the name of the Empire of Japan. I would like to clarify that I am no longer an Empire, but as a true Japanese man I feel I must take responsibility for these sort of actions, even if they are no fault of mine. That is to say... I hope to stop such things as annexation of the kitchen before it spreads to other rooms.

...But I will admit I am at a loss of what to do. Ah, does anyone perhaps have advice for this sort of situation? It seems she considers me an enemy, and I must consider her the same if she continues to spread my name in such a way, but I do not wish for a war.

[A brisk sigh indicates he's glad he got that out.]

On a related note, I am curious as to how many others are dealing with a similar situation, and how they choose to go about this.

And lastly... Is anyone aware of how I can return to the passenger's quarters from here? It is a very nice area, but I seem to have found it on accident. [So. He's lost.] ...Thank you. [And the feed cuts off.]

Comments

[zoosmell]

if she doesn't, just draw faces on the chess pieces.
that is very enticing.

[fourseasons]

Faces on the chess pieces...?
What a strange suggestion.

[zoosmell]

it makes knocking off the pawn pieces a lot of fun!
don't worry, japan.
you seem like a nice guy!
and i will help you in whatever way i can.

[fourseasons]

That is very kind of you. [He's so touched somehow...]

It is nice to have those who are friendly in a situation like this.

[zoosmell]

ha ha!
you can just say friends.
but if you ever need someone to do any sneakin' around, i will do it!
i will be an important unhappy face pawn for your big plan.
i kinda hope that you two just get along well, though...
i mean, it'd be fun to sneak around!
but it'd be fun if she was nice and you could watch movies together.

[fourseasons]

I appreciate that.
Ah, but I agree... it would be nice if it could end like that.

[He pauses, and just a few seconds later sends another text.]

Are we truly friends...?

[zoosmell]

oh!
do you not want to be?
wow, this is really awkward.
but that is what i thought!
i mean, you like nick cage and everything!

[fourseasons]

No!
I mean I would like to be friends!
Please.

[SO AWKWARD.]

[zoosmell]

heh, ok!
it's ok, i wasn't going to take it back!
you are still my friend even if you don't want me.
nobody tosses me off like i'm nuttin'!
i'm the piece of broccoli that you find in your teeth three hours after you have eaten dinner!

[fourseasons]

Surely a more pleasant metaphor is in order.

[zoosmell]

the broccoli can be candy.
since we are friends now and/or have been friends for a while, we should do something friends do!

[fourseasons]

What is something that friends

[No wait that would look really pathetic.]

Do you have something in mind?

[zoosmell]

a little one...
it's not that big though!
it really isn't a big deal, but if you really wanna hear it, i will tell you!

[fourseasons]

Yes, I would like to hear!

[zoosmell]

i want to make a japanese mangas about magical girl dave.
and then i want you to draw horrible stuff with him doing magical girl stuff.
then draw some things that insinuate really creepy things about him and bird dave.
after that, i want you to accidentally to drop it near him and then tell him the merchandise is really popular in japan.
and then you should always call him dave-kawaii.

[fourseasons]

...He is the one who types in red text, correct?
Ah... is this what friends do? It seems a bit...

[zoosmell]

japan.
this is what BEST friends do.

[fourseasons]

Oh. I see...

I suppose I could make a manga with such things, but surely Dave-kawaii is far too personal and simply...
Well. Kawaii is not a suffix.
Perhaps you are looking for Dave-chan, which I still believe is too personal.

[zoosmell]

how about kawaii dave-san?
the kawaii is very important.

[fourseasons]

It seems a bit forward...

[Japan all of your answers mean no why do you suck at saying no]

[zoosmell]

i will be counting on you to do this!
it really means a lot.
anyway, i will try to find your not-sister and try to talk to her about you?
if it isn't too much of a bother and stuff...

[fourseasons]

Ah... if it truly means so much, I will do my best.
I would appreciate that, as well. Please do your best as well...

[zoosmell]

do you know what dave and bird dave look like?
one of them looks more like a bird.
oh!
they're kinda like you and her, too...

[fourseasons]

I do not. A picture would be nice, if I am to draw them...

Ah, are they the same person?

[zoosmell]

maybe there's a video of him somewhere...
he looks like a total loser, you will totally recognize him.
but yeah!
he's the same person except in the future and more bird.
... is she like a bird, too?
because that would be cool.
what if there was a bird john?
wow, would i poop on everything?
that is another life i have never lead.