1 [Voice]

[integrity]

[Crowley has been on the ship for hours.

The whole business was rather unpleasant, as is being branded like some kind of animal, but all in all, the demon is rather unruffled. Transport into another universe was something of another day's work, though it was an alarming coincidence that it occurred so closely to his greatest victory. Was this his punishment for his involvement with defeating the Leviathan?

Unlikely, the demon decides, and so he goes about his business.

First, it is a matter of discovering his locker, of removing his things, and of disappearing. He has little interest in socializing immediately and, as a result, Crowley vanishes into the shadows to dwell and think -- and, most importantly, learn. Within the hour, Crowley has all he needs to know at his fingertips, and with a flick of his fingers, his comm turns on to broadcast his soft accented English to the Tranquility.]

I'm afraid I require a bit of explanation as to why, exactly, someone thought it would be humorous to shove a Hellhound into a test tube.

[There's an artful pause.]

And also the location of the nearest groomer. This filth is absolutely disgusting.

[There's another three second pause before his own transmission ends.

Let's see who decides to come forward with information about why he, the demon King, is here.]

Comments

all my dreams come true.

[jilt]

Has the ship not provided you with your own personal groomer? How remiss of them. I'd lodge a complaint, were I you.

[ sorry about your life, ward. ]

scream

[integrity]

Oh, believe me, I have, several, actually, and none of them have been returned.

[Not a voice he recognizes and by the sounds of it, not one that recognizes his, but Crowley doesn't put much stock in that. Instead, he continues, as calm and contrite as ever.]

I trust the suggestion box on this vessel is defunct.

text;

[blunted]

Don't like getting your hands dirty?

text;

[integrity]

Have you ever bathed a Hellhound before?

voice »

[stacked]

Because Jaye didn't want that fuck-ugly thing to die?

[ she'll just assume he means jaye's jacked up pet. ]

voice »

[integrity]

[Excuse you.]

Now, ugly is somewhat subjective, isn't it?

[It's a quiet purr, almost as if Crowley is quietly suggesting that you go choke on that stupid opinion of yours and bleed to death while you're at it.

But there is something more important to focus on here.

There are other Hellhounds on this ship?]

voice.

[incubo]

I'd say send it to Jaye if it won't eat her face or anything. She has a pet hellhound, too, I guess.

voice.

[integrity]

My Hellhound is extraordinarily well behaved so long as you don't owe me anything.

[Who in the Hell is this person and why does she have a Hellhound?]

They also aren't pets.

[They are totally pets.]

voice.

[faithlessly]

[ welp.

dean's not entirely sure which is worse; crowley and his stupid, recognizable accent, or the fact that there's now another goddamn hellhound on the ship. the first choice would have no competition if dean's only memory of the guy wasn't just their first meeting. ]

Great. Exactly what this place needed.

[ actually, he'll just hate both options. ]

voice.

[integrity]

[Ha.]

There's no need to be rude, Dean.

[Just the person he thought he'd find.]

I'm just as stuck as you.

encrypted; 100%

[majestyofthethrone]

I know him.

[wentshopping]

I believe we are, presumably, meant to groom ourselves. And whatever animals--physical or metaphorical--have been brought aboard with us.

[integrity]

Glorious.

I am legit excited

[disheartening]

You could simply leave the thing out during the next Jump.

[ and then a smirk, as if she remembered something. ]

But that could be a messier business.

screech!!

[integrity]

[The thought makes Crowley want to remove her eyes.]

I think I'll chance the bathtub, but ten points for creativity.

text

[heltersskelter]

it's called a shower
and it's not a test tube
anyway maybe he doesn't recognize you

text

[integrity]

Have you tried to fit a Hellhound into a shower, smartass?

And my dog recognizes me just fine.

[voice]

[jurisimpudent]

Ah. So you are returned.

[voice]

[integrity]

So I've gathered, but I'm afraid everyone else remembers far more than I do.

voice; 60% encrypted

[onsilksheets]

[Damn it.]

The ship's fresh out of groomers.

voice; 60% encrypted 1/2

[integrity]

[ -- now that is a voice he has not heard in a very long time.]

Miss Talbot.

video;

[gilding]

I assume this must mean you're the other beast's original owner, returned to us.

video;

[integrity]

[Crowley lets the video turn on, but only because he is perfectly put together. He is sitting in a chair, his hands folded in his lap -- but the comm seems to be recording from mid-air.]

Beast seems to be something of a harsh word.

1/3

[tumbleweeds]

[ Now there's someone she hasn't been expecting to see, not after this many jumps. She's gaping for a moment -- he looks beardier than she remembers, and he had hardly been so open about what he was last time -- and then Jaye finally blurts out: ]

Crowley?

2/3

[tumbleweeds]

[ Of course, in the next instant, Howly is jumping for the communicator as if he'll be able to fit inside it to get to his (former? true?) master. Anyone who can see the hound would be able to push him off with much more finesse than Jaye is currently exhibiting, shoving at the (admittedly overweight) creature until she manages to get both hands on him. ]

Get down, he's not in the communicator.

[ Howly huffs but sits, tail wagging and ears pricked, still eyeing the comm. (He is also notably not covered in blue goo.) ]

video

[loyalpup]

[Tom's not quite sure what a Hellhound is aside from a rude way to describe werewolves, but in case it's just a pet...]

There's a big tub in the gardens that I bet he'd fit in. Hoses too. If you need help I can do it unless he don't like strangers.

video

[integrity]

[Crowley is seated in a chair, comfortable and at ease, with his hands folded in his lap.]

It's a she, for starters, and she's perfectly amicable unless I'm threatened.

[Which... he isn't.]

Do you like dogs?

video;

[lacksgrace]

What, you have a problem with getting a little dirty?

video;

[integrity]

No.

[Yes.]

I have a problem finding a bathtub large enough to fit a Hellhound.

[And Crowley is not showering her off where everyone can stare at her.]

[rebelled]

[seeing the message on the network, all that comes through as a response is a loud burst of static. it's all the warning crowley gets before castiel turns up a short distance away, sword already in hand. he doesn't plan on attacking, but he doesn't trust either the demon or the dog. he knows better than that.]

You're back.

[and with another hellhound. that's just great.]

[integrity]

[He already knows when the static explodes through the comm what is coming -- or rather, who is coming. And instead of allowing the slight jolt of nerves rule his decision making, Crowley allows himself a sigh as he rolls his eyes up toward Castiel, looking entirely... unimpressed.]

You have always been so unnecessarily overdramatic.

[But Crowley allows his brow to knit slightly, to show the tiniest inch of confusion -- because the last he saw Castiel, he was half-crazed and offering Crowley presents and asking for forgiveness. And he certainly wasn't stupid enough to threaten him with a sword.]

Are you done peacocking and fluffing your feathers or are we going to have a discussion like civilized beings?

video.

[mansuetus]

Can one see your Hellhound, signore? The one on board is quite invisible.

[ Lucrezia Borgia is a super curious girl. ]

video.

[integrity]

You can, but only if I help.

[It's something of a lie. You can't see them unless you're Damned, with a great big capital D.

But Crowley can make that so, if you sign a piece of paper.]

ah right i'm triple tapping you i believe. sorry but truly not sorry

[mathematically]

[ come on why does he get his dog this is bullshit you can't even see it. and man it does show in how she's looking and sounding right now, so not amused. ]

What, are you afraid of getting a little wet?

I TAKE ALL OF THESE TAGS WITH LOVE

[integrity]

Of course not, but I'm having difficulty finding a shower large enough to fit my dog.

[You little snot. 8|]

voice »

[adlered]

You'd think by now they'd make it easier to clean the animals that are forced into those tubes like we are every month.

[ her counterpart already took care of the complaint comment, just making it worse because she can. ]

I'd offer, but I'm regrettably not exactly an expert on dog grooming. I can typically trust mine to clean up their own messes.

voice »

[integrity]

My dogs are normally self-sufficient, but mine is having difficulty finding a shower that she can fit in.

[As it is, Growley barely fits into his bathtub, and she's sort of hanging over the side.]

voice »

[surrogates]

[ the fuck are you doing back here. ]

Probably for the same reason they thought it was humorous to shove you into one.

voice »

[integrity]

[xoxo]

I'm not quite as big as my dog, darling, but thank you for the remarkable insight.