☩ ００８． ＶＩＤＥＯ | ＡＣＴＩＯＮ

[mansuetus]

[ Lucrezia is in one of the lounges! Sprawled on one of the sofas, fingers busy turning a pendent of gold in the shape of a sea-horse. There are no poems today, no joyful greetings, something is different. She looks more pensive than anything else but there is a shade of concern there as well as quiet annoyance.

When she speaks, her voice is devoid of any of it. Her eyes still focused on the sea-horse. ]

A riddle, Tranquility.

How to mourn for someone who does not deserve it?

If your duty demands it and you have no desire to - do all men need to be mourned for? Is it a a more grievous sin not to mourn than it is to speak false words of grievance?

[ a beat. ]

Perhaps I must fast again.

[ a moment later she puts down her necklace, smiles. ]

I would have a cup of wine with your answer, if any of you have some to spare. You will join me in the lounge.

[ and it is not a question. ]

Comments

video;

[mathematically]

[ There's a moment when it looks as if Lydia wants to answer in so many different ways but she stops herself once and then again before she just shrugs. ]

You just don't mourn for them. That's the only way you should.

video;

[mansuetus]

You simply do not mourn.

[ she agrees, by the sound of it, by the way relief settles into her face. She is glad someone sees it her way. ]

And it is not uncaring?

video;

[mathematically]

[ Lydia just slightly at the relief, she knows how what she said seems rather uncaring, but if she were to mourn for Peter if he dies, he does not deserve it, so why would she waste her tears on him? ]

Some might think it is, but if the person you're potentially mourning doesn't deserve it, like you said, and maybe wouldn't do the same for you if you were the one dead, it's not really uncaring. It's more along the lines of knowing when to not waste your time or feelings on someone who you don't care for. A lot of people do it.

video;

[mansuetus]

I am certain the person in question would not mourn for me had I died. Perhaps they would be relieved.

[ just like she is, now. ]

Do you not think me cruel now, signora?

video;

[mathematically]

Then you should be completely absolved of any guilt you may feel about it if that's the case.

[ she shakes her head. ]

Signora, if I thought that you were cruel now, then I'd be a hypocrite and besides, I'm a firm believer in people earning the right to be mourned by people who might not want to.

video;

[mansuetus]

You knew someone you do not wish to mourn.

[ she smiles, thin and full of approval. ]

I do admire your spirit.

video;

[mathematically]

Know someone I don't wish to mourn, actually. Though maybe there is one person I knew vaguely who I never wished to mourn.

[ it takes a moment but lydia smiles the most genuine smile she's given to anyone on this ship when she says that. ]

I pride myself on having one that's worthy of admiring. I'm a strong girl and all that. Even if others would argue that I can't be.

video;

[mansuetus]

Those who say that are fools. It is a good thing, that you do not let foolish chatter discourage you.

video;

[mathematically]

Only because of way too much practice. And admittedly maybe starting some of the foolish chatter on other people myself. It helps to know where it comes from.

Can you keep a secret for me?

video;

[mansuetus]

[ She likes this girl, she decides. And at once: ]

I am rather talented at keeping secrets.

video; locked

[mathematically]

I'm holding you to that, Lucrezia. Because this is something no one else can know.

[ Somewhere deep inside Lydia she wonders if she can really trust her, but there's this part of her that really needs to tell someone this without that much of it hidden behind hypothetical comments. ]

The person who I don't wish to mourn is on this ship.

[ And as soon as she say it, she lets out a sigh of what might be relief. ]

video; locked

[mansuetus]

What will you do? Now that they are here. I cannot imagine what I would do if the person I speak of was here with us.

Shall I tell you a secret in return?

video; locked

[mathematically]

He's been here as long as I have. I avoid him when I can. Any other time and I just deal with it because I can't technically do anything about his presence. [ deal with it. ha ha ha. no she does not deal with it at all. ]

I might enjoy it if you did.

video; locked

[mansuetus]

Perhaps one day you shall be able to do something.

[ hurt him, she thinks. Not in a cruel way, just a lesson. A warning that he best keep away as he had supposedly done. ]

The one I speak of was my husband.

video; locked

[mathematically]

And I keep hoping that day will be soon.

[ Lydia would, as bad as it is, prefer to kill him. She had been instrumental in him coming back to life, so why not be the reason he dies a second death as well? It's a bit poetic when she thinks of it. ]

Then I imagine your husband was the sort of man I'd like slapping across the face. Those kind of men always suck. [ she pauses. ] I thought mine could make a good significant other. Not a husband since I'm only sixteen, but appearances are a little deceiving.

video; locked

[mansuetus]

I am that too. Or I shall be soon. Sixteen.

[ but she knows now that is considered young for some realms. ]

That they are. I hope you would find one who is as he says he is. One that would do good to you.

video; locked

[mathematically]

I just turned it, well technically at home I just turned it like a week ago or something. Here I guess that was months ago.

[ that was very weird to think about, surprise. ]

Technically I might have at home and he's here too, but it's complicated.

video; locked

[mansuetus]

Matters are the heart somehow always become complicated, do they not? They are only ever simple in children's stories.

video; locked

[mathematically]

I used to think ours was really simple. We were kind of expected to be together? You know? Not like a children's story but pretty close.

It's just been different then it was supposed to be.

video; locked

[mansuetus]

Do you love him?

video; locked

[mathematically]

More than I should. Enough to where, admittedly, even if he's a idiot so much of the time and he's an ass, I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with him.

I like thinking he's the metaphorical king to my queen, you know? And it's not fun to have that not go the way its supposed to.

video; locked

[mansuetus]

Then you must be queen and king, despite his flaws. Will you marry him?

[ too personal, lucrezia. ]

video; locked

[mathematically]

[ way too personal, but she's going to answer it just the same because well, she likes the sound of it. ]

If he ever asks and is willing to actually follow me while I achieve some things he knows I want to, I would.

video; locked

[mansuetus]

It is a good condition for marriage.

video; locked

[mathematically]

You'd think so but men can be so annoying about it. Please, if I wanted to stay at home not doing anything with my brain, I'd do that all by myself, not because the guy I love has a problem with it.