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[mansuetus]

[ Lucrezia is in one of the lounges! Sprawled on one of the sofas, fingers busy turning a pendent of gold in the shape of a sea-horse. There are no poems today, no joyful greetings, something is different. She looks more pensive than anything else but there is a shade of concern there as well as quiet annoyance.

When she speaks, her voice is devoid of any of it. Her eyes still focused on the sea-horse. ]

A riddle, Tranquility.

How to mourn for someone who does not deserve it?

If your duty demands it and you have no desire to - do all men need to be mourned for? Is it a a more grievous sin not to mourn than it is to speak false words of grievance?

[ a beat. ]

Perhaps I must fast again.

[ a moment later she puts down her necklace, smiles. ]

I would have a cup of wine with your answer, if any of you have some to spare. You will join me in the lounge.

[ and it is not a question. ]

Comments

video;

[mansuetus]

[ She likes this girl, she decides. And at once: ]

I am rather talented at keeping secrets.

video; locked

[mathematically]

I'm holding you to that, Lucrezia. Because this is something no one else can know.

[ Somewhere deep inside Lydia she wonders if she can really trust her, but there's this part of her that really needs to tell someone this without that much of it hidden behind hypothetical comments. ]

The person who I don't wish to mourn is on this ship.

[ And as soon as she say it, she lets out a sigh of what might be relief. ]

video; locked

[mansuetus]

What will you do? Now that they are here. I cannot imagine what I would do if the person I speak of was here with us.

Shall I tell you a secret in return?

video; locked

[mathematically]

He's been here as long as I have. I avoid him when I can. Any other time and I just deal with it because I can't technically do anything about his presence. [ deal with it. ha ha ha. no she does not deal with it at all. ]

I might enjoy it if you did.

video; locked

[mansuetus]

Perhaps one day you shall be able to do something.

[ hurt him, she thinks. Not in a cruel way, just a lesson. A warning that he best keep away as he had supposedly done. ]

The one I speak of was my husband.

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[mathematically]

And I keep hoping that day will be soon.

[ Lydia would, as bad as it is, prefer to kill him. She had been instrumental in him coming back to life, so why not be the reason he dies a second death as well? It's a bit poetic when she thinks of it. ]

Then I imagine your husband was the sort of man I'd like slapping across the face. Those kind of men always suck. [ she pauses. ] I thought mine could make a good significant other. Not a husband since I'm only sixteen, but appearances are a little deceiving.

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[mansuetus]

I am that too. Or I shall be soon. Sixteen.

[ but she knows now that is considered young for some realms. ]

That they are. I hope you would find one who is as he says he is. One that would do good to you.

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[mathematically]

I just turned it, well technically at home I just turned it like a week ago or something. Here I guess that was months ago.

[ that was very weird to think about, surprise. ]

Technically I might have at home and he's here too, but it's complicated.

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[mansuetus]

Matters are the heart somehow always become complicated, do they not? They are only ever simple in children's stories.

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[mathematically]

I used to think ours was really simple. We were kind of expected to be together? You know? Not like a children's story but pretty close.

It's just been different then it was supposed to be.

video; locked

[mansuetus]

Do you love him?

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[mathematically]

More than I should. Enough to where, admittedly, even if he's a idiot so much of the time and he's an ass, I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with him.

I like thinking he's the metaphorical king to my queen, you know? And it's not fun to have that not go the way its supposed to.

video; locked

[mansuetus]

Then you must be queen and king, despite his flaws. Will you marry him?

[ too personal, lucrezia. ]

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[mathematically]

[ way too personal, but she's going to answer it just the same because well, she likes the sound of it. ]

If he ever asks and is willing to actually follow me while I achieve some things he knows I want to, I would.

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[mansuetus]

It is a good condition for marriage.

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[mathematically]

You'd think so but men can be so annoying about it. Please, if I wanted to stay at home not doing anything with my brain, I'd do that all by myself, not because the guy I love has a problem with it.

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[mansuetus]

If you are his queen, then a queen does as she pleases, does she not?

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[mathematically]

She does, she's supposed to, equal power and all that, but— honestly, if you just let the women have all the power, so many messes wouldn't exist.

Sometimes a queen just gets pulled back anyway, not everyone likes a queen who does everything as she pleases.

video; locked

[mansuetus]

They would have loved you, I reckon. It is the secret of charm, is it not?

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[mathematically]

It is. But men occasionally get really offended when a queen steps on certain lines. I like trampling on those lines even if I can smile prettily while doing so.

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[mansuetus]

Much like myself.

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[mathematically]

Nearly exactly like you. I just have the misfortune of running into men who find it bad regardless. It takes time to change things, what can I say. Someday I'll get to be the queen that runs free.