NINE: video

[puppydogeyes]

[The room Taylor's sat in is dark, unidentifiable from the wall behind her, but soft, blue-tinged light from another source washes over her face intermittently. It highlights how drawn she looks, pale, tired. She's a mess, really. Even by Tranquility standards.]

It's January, right? Been counting on the jumps since I got here. [She isn't slurring as she speaks, but the lack of focus in her expression and sluggishness to her movements makes it clear she's inebriated to anyone who knows what to look for.] Guess it doesn't matter though. Just start calling them by numbers. I was meant to turn twenty in December. Be an instructor back at the Academy. [She frowns for a moment, taking a drink out of an unlabelled bottle.] Or maybe they'd have terminated me.

[Another pause, and she shifts off to the side for a moment, putting the bottle down. When she comes back into view she’s holding something else – a mask. Her mask, an mongrel canine face, beaten, bruised and bloody. She holds it up, hanging off the fingers of one hand.]

Turns out these show you ghosts. Hallucinations. Whatever. If that isn't fucked up enough to get you thinking don't touch them, you're a fucking idiot. [Very evidently angry, suddenly, half a snarl on her mouth. She looks at the mask again, then drops it to one side.] Didn't want to see my old man the little he was around, sure as fuck didn't want to see him here. Thing I've been thinking, though - what do you see, you wear someone else's?

[She doesn't hold the second mask up for the camera, but it's there in her hands, looks like a modern military gas mask. She's quiet for a long while, like she maybe forgot she even had the comms running, all of the anger and energy drained out of her again.]

Tommy's gone. Gone last jump. Told him he would, cause everyone goes. [A thin smile, strained, sad, and then gone again.] Guess I didn't wanna be right.

Comments

video;

[northerner]

[ it is a blow. it is loss upon loss and tommy had offered his banner to alayne, had sworn to protect her. he'd been a man of honor and robb had looked to him the way he had looked to the great jon, trusted him like he was of westeros.

to hear he is lost for true, not just hidden away in his rooms, it cuts robb like a thousand knives. ]

I'm sorry, Tyke. Truly I am.

video;

[puppydogeyes]

[Taylor's features twist into something more angry again, but she doesn't direct it at the comms, looks off instead.]

Sorrys don't fix jack shit.

[voice]

[jurisimpudent]

[Well. There's a lot he could respond to here - he could withdraw within himself, get defensive over her saying that people who used the masks to see those ghosts are idiots; he could get angry at her lack of professionalism; he could tell her to get off the network until she's sober.

He doesn't. Instead, he speaks with a voice that's almost...gentle.]

You're...probably tired, Tyke. Perhaps there's something I can do for you.

video;

[puppydogeyes]

[He's right. She is tired. Tired and a lot of other things. She shakes her head, but it's not a denial.]

It's fucking stupid, you know? Can't sleep right on my own anymore.

voice; TOP GUN ENCRYPTIONS 95%

[leaps]

[ sulu wore his mask. he would still be wearing his mask if spock hadn't ripped it away from him. seeing tyke with hers make him shiver, and he isn't sure if its because he's afraid or if he's jealous. ]

Maybe you don't see anything.

[ yes this is going to be a healthy conversation. ]

Which Academy?

video; TOP GUN ENCRYPTIONS 95%

[puppydogeyes]

[She's still holding Tommy's mask in her hands, looking down at it. She's been thinking about wearing it for a while now, but hasn't quite managed to bring herself to do it.]

Maybe I see him. He count as a ghost now, you think? Don't know if my old man's even dead.

[Probably is though. She almost hopes he is.]

Cartazonos. Means unicorn. Always wondered what the fuck was up with that.

video;

[handelaar]

[Any sort of reassurance is not something he's about to do over the entire damn network. And she's important enough, right - got enough people watching her back, at least Kirk and all the rest of fucking security - someone else has got this.

Though he does use video, Gardens in the background, thinned, worried lips and curious eyes peering back as he answers one thing, quiet:]

Never worn anyone else's. Mask.

video;

[puppydogeyes]

Keep thinking about it.

[But she hasn't, yet.]

Guess I'm worried nothing'll happen.

[Like it's the last place she's got left to look, and she'd rather not know then find out it's empty.]

video;

[mustloverex]

I know you'd probably rather hear from friends, but if you'd like to talk to a stranger, let me know. Sometimes it's easier.

[ She sounds concerned, of course, but it's surprisingly light and direct - no point in being patronizing. ]

video;

[puppydogeyes]

Doesn't matter around here. [She shrugs.] Friends leave. Strangers leave. Ship doesn't give a shit.

( video )

[faithlessly]

[ admittedly ever since seeing cas with the mask, dean's been curious about them. but as much as he wants to ask about it maybe now's not the time. ]

Being right's kinda overrated. [ pause. ] And I guess sayin' he might come back ain't much of a cheer up either, huh? [ wow, okay shutting up now. he's no good at this. ]

( video )

[puppydogeyes]

Like you? Forgetting everything? [She's not sure if the idea of that hurts worse than Tommy just being gone. She doesn't like it either way.] Yeah, that'd be fucking amazing.

voice, auggie locked. icly delayed an hour.

[altercate]

[ it takes derek a long time to answer. derek's good at recognizing pain in others. it's what drew him to isaac, how he found erica, why he chose boyd. like calls to like to some extent, and he recognizes something familiar in tyke.

but that doesn't mean he knows what to say.

so there's a bit of a pause when he finally picks up his comm and hits reply, derek trying to decide what to say. ]

What do you mean, you see hallucinations?

video, auggie locked

[puppydogeyes]

I mean you put it on a couple of times, you start seeing people that aren't there.

[Maybe they're hallucinations. Maybe they're real ghosts. Taylor figures either was possible, this goddamn ship.]

video;

[chromosomes]

[ He's not any good at this. He's not -- never has been, maybe never will be. But Tyke's his CO, his teammate, and his friend. He has to try. (And he had liked Tommy, too -- they'd had a lot in common.) ]

Tyke- [ he starts, and suddenly the name feels wrong, like it's a mask, too. He's not sure where that came from and shakes his head, pushing on... only he doesn't say what he really wants to say, because he doesn't know how to. ] You want me to take yours?

video;

[puppydogeyes]

[Everyone keeps saying that name. It's the way it's meant to be, like that, her real name kept hidden. But it makes her frown, because she doesn't remember who's left that knows Taylor, wonders if something's slipping away from her.]

No. [She shakes her head.] I need it.

[She hadn't claimed she'd make sense about any of this.]

[rebelled]

...will you let me take them?

[the masks, that is. he knows he isn't much good at offering advice or comforting others. so for now, perhaps he can just take away the temptation to find out those answers for herself.]

[puppydogeyes]

No.

[An immediate answer. She'd known the masks were a bad idea when they'd first appeared. She knows they're a bad idea now. But she's worn her own several times now, and it's wormed its way into her head.]

video - badly locked

[doggedly]

[Masks. It's easy to forget about the masks, except when it's not, and every once and awhile Sirius remembers that his is hidden away somewhere in this ship, and if he looked hard enough, he might find it, he might feel it tugging at him--

He likes Tyke, genuinely, in a way that came about sort of cheaty. Padfoot liked her first, intensely, a feeling that's bled over, and so he answers quickly, without thinking.]

You can wear mine.

[It comes out quietly, sort of gently (weirdly!), but still sort of jokey. Parents and masks and missing people and drinking. Yeah. Brilliant.]

video - badly locked

[puppydogeyes]

[Taylor isn't really expecting any kind of responses. The post itself was in-advised with no thought behind it. But that offer surprises her, confuses her, and she simply blurts out in response,]

But you're still here.

video, private; viewable to irenes.

[jilt]

[ she's not the right irene. she knows that her counterpart is the one snared and caught by this woman, this pretty girl and the steel inlaid in her. but she must be something special, something worth attention, to have caught the eye of her counterpart.

and so irene plays this through twice before she replies, and when she speaks her voice is quiet. ]

There's not much I can say to ease this for you. There's never anything to say when this happens, I've found.

video, private; viewable to irenes.

[puppydogeyes]

[Taylor's never good with words. She's learnt to be better, on the Tranquility, but now isn't the best example of that person. She might as well be the girl that just arrived, right now.]

Then why bother.

[Saying anything at all.]

[video]

[circumitus]

[Six years. It's been six years that Rey has spent in Between. She fell asleep, woke up three months later only to find that she never left her pod. Same thing happens again, only this time there's so much more to process. It's easy to forget, lose track of the time she's spent on the Tranquility and the time she might've already had. But it's been six long years, and she still remembers the feeling of the mask on her face. The hatred boiling to the brim with monstrous anger. And she won't touch it with a ten foot pole.]

I would say that you should get rid of that mask, though I've yet to get rid of mine. [It might still be on her door, actually. Rey hasn't gone back to her room in some time.]

[video]

[puppydogeyes]

[Taylor hates her mask. Hates the look of it, this dead, unidentifiable dog; hates what she sees when she puts it on. But getting rid of it, now... she can't. She needs it.]

Should've got rid of all of them when they turned up.

video; private;

[cargojet]

You don't like me, so I'm not gonna worry much about you hating me more for saying it.

If you've been wearing that thing often, you need to think right now about whether or not you're stable enough to be holding the position you are. Those things fuck people up, and you have a responsibility to do the right thing.

By the way, you look goddamn dreadful.

video; private;

[puppydogeyes]

[Taylor glares at her comm for a moment, at his face, but then she just shrugs.]

I was gonna fuck up sometime. It's what freaks like me do, right?

video; locked

[fraud]

[ not really that private cause s'not like mike knows how to be really secure here but it is at least private to show that he does, in a way, want this private. he's on his own in a corner of the gardens, poking through his communicator when he watches this, and his eyes are red which means he's probably going up or coming down from something.

anyway. ]

But what if you want to see them?

[ man, this isn't going to be a healthy conversation, is it? ]

video; locked

[puppydogeyes]

[If she was in any way more together, she'd boost the encryption. As it is she's just replying to things as they come.]

You think this shit is gonna really let you see them? It's not real. It's fucking with us.

[But she's still the one hoping Tommy's mask might give her something more to hold onto.]

( video | encrypted 100% )

[adlered]

[ There's a number of things that could be said, but saying them all seems a bit wrong at the moment. Everything that comes to mind feels out of place and it takes longer than Irene will ever admit to actually speak. This is what happens when she's gone a month, isn't it? Things fall to pieces, Neal gets someone who she'd pass the reins to and Tyke loses Tommy but refuses to deal until she— well, looks like she's breaking down over the network and it feels like it twists her heart, puts it in a vice grip that threatens to force her to kill everyone on this ship.

And yet, she doesn't. And yet, when she finally does speak it's one word and then a rather lengthy pause. ]

Tyke. [ And then: ] You know better than to do such a thing. I distinctly remember you informing us how unwise it was when they appeared.

[ She's not disappointed and yet perhaps a tiny part of her is. Not that Tyke needs to know that right now. ]

( video | encrypted 100% )

[puppydogeyes]

[Irene's going to be disappointed. Taylor knows it because she's disappointed - but then, she'd never expected better of herself. These were the cold, certain truths: 1) she was a fuck-up, and 2) everyone left, one day. For a long time Irene had reminded her of her instructors, and that had been alright to rail against. But Irene hasn't been like that to her for a while now, and the idea of her disappointed just makes Taylor even angrier at herself. But it's the truth, and Irene should have seen it sooner. So all she does is shrug.]

You know, sometimes I really fucking hate that name.

Video

[skindeep]

I think I've finally mastered the art of brewing coffee. Would you like me to bring you some?

[There are some pains that words can't help...not that coffee can actually do that much either.]

Video

[puppydogeyes]

[She shakes her head.]

Coffee'll just sober me up.

[She reaches over to pick the bottle up again, shaking it slightly at the camera so the liquid inside sloshes, like she's showing how much she's got left to drink. It's not doing much to make her feel better either, really, but she can still pretend like it is.]

video

[triedtobe]

[ Just because because he doesn't know her well doesn't mean he's clueless when it comes to something being wrong. There's just not really a good way to say it blatantly, or a way to say it at all -- isn't it always all wrong? ]

Where'd you get your mask?

video

[puppydogeyes]

Appeared on everyone's doors, after the lockdown. [A pause, and then she realises he wouldn't know when that was.] Few jumps ago.

video;

[the_vishual]

Don't be sad, Tyke. Maybe you don't like me or hearing this, but I don't want you to be sad.

video;

[puppydogeyes]

[It catches her by surprise, evident for a moment, but then she just glares.]

I'm not sad.

voice;

[angerissues]

[ Mason would be using text right now if it wasn't clear that Tyke was drunk, but he feels awful enough that he's not going to use video. This way will help keep his irritation in check, too, he hopes. If she's dealing with the loss of someone important to her, he can't hold the fact that she didn't respond to his texts against her.

At least, that's what he's trying to tell himself. It's a little easier said than done, though he manages to keep his voice clear of any clues that he's not quite feeling that way. ]

Putting someone else's on is probably a worse idea than putting your own on.

voice;

[puppydogeyes]

[For all that she's talked with Mason since, helped him, dealt with the anger that comes with his wolf, there's still a tiny part of her that can't forget that he hurt Tommy. A tiny part that normally, she completely skips over. But not right now, and maybe there's something more sharp in her voice for it.]

So maybe I'm out of good ideas.

private; voice

[goldshirt]

[well, that explains a lot]

Been wondering where you took off to.

private; voice

[puppydogeyes]

[It's a confusing moment, hearing his voice. She knows the pods are open now (it had been the last thing she'd been holding onto, hoping somehow Tommy was wrapped up in that and would just be there, the next jump), but she hadn't seen or spoken to Kirk. And now she's doing this, actively screwing up on a public network post, and here he was, responding to it.

It sets a conflicted mess of reactions through her head, and in the end she just decides to ignore all of them, I don't give a shit tone evident in her voice.]

I wasn't the one taking a beauty nap for a whole fucking month.

voice| private encryption

[firstofficer]

My condolences, Tyke.

voice| private encryption

[puppydogeyes]

He's not dead.