TEXT || CITE 01 ALTERNIA CODE § 001

[pythianjudgment]

WOW 1SNT TH1S OR1G1N4L
1 4M ON 4 SP4C3 ST4T1ON
3V3RYBODY LOOK 4T M3
SOM3TH1NG SOM3TH1NG
T4K3 4 GOOD H4RD LOOK 4T TH3 MOTH3RFUCK1NG SP4C3 ST4T1ON

WHOOP WHOOP 1 4M NOW 4 COLOSS4L TOOL
M4Y 1 JOIN YOUR SP4C3 R4NKS?
1 FUCK1NG LOV3 SP4C3

NO S3R1OUSLY 1S TH3R3 4N 3X1T OFF TH1S TH1NG?
1V3 B33N H3R3 FOR 4LL OF F1V3 M1NUT3S 4ND 1 4M 4LR34DY DON3
K33P YOUR SOUV3N13R SH1RTS 1 DONT W4NT YOUR H4TS
TROLL MCGUYV3R M3 4 SP4C3 SU1T FROM 4 SNORK3L M4SK 4ND 4N 1NFL4T4BL3 BODYSU1T
4ND 1LL FLO4T MY W4Y B4CK TO R34L C1V1L1Z4T1ON
1M SO OUTT13

Comments

[pythianjudgment]

TH3 FUTUR3 LO1N OFFSPR1NG W3R3 HYPOTH3T1C4L
TH3 4BSTR4CT FOR TH3 SP4C3 4BDUCT1ON OLYMP14D W4SNT

W41T
4M 1 CONV3RS1NG W1TH TWO D4V3B1RDS 4T TH3 S4M3 T1M3 >:?
4M 1 1MM3RS3D 1N 4 FLOCK OF D4V3S?

[tg]

do you want to be
cause we can arrange for that

[pythianjudgment]

WOW
YOU KNOW
1N 4LL TH3 T1M3 1 L4BOROUSLY SP3NT ST33R1NG YOU THROUGH TH3 HURDL3S OF TH3 LOH4C 3XCH4NG3
1 N3V3R D1D 1M4G1N3D TH3 B3N3F1TS TO H4V1NG TH1RT33N D4V3S


1 4M TH3 WORST 4L13N GU1D3 3V3R

[tg]

haha sucks right
imagine thirteen daves sitting in vats of boiling water crying sweet sweet onion tears
endless cycles of davecestual orgies singlehandedly choreographed by yours truly
and you were too slow on the uptake to take advantage of that once in a lifetime opportunity
yeah you really are the worst alien guide ever why do i even keep you around

[pythianjudgment]

OBV1OUSLY FOR MY S1NGUL4R 4RT1ST1C SK1LLS
W1THOUT WH1CH YOU WOULD ST1LL B3 SCR4P1NG TH3 BOTTOM OF YOUR POT3NT14L B4RR3L >:P

CL34RLY YOU N33D TO M4K3 TH1S UP TO M3 PRONTO
YOU C4N ST4RT BY BU1LD1NG M3 4 P4L4NQU1N M4D3 OF COOLK1DS
SO TH4T 1 C4N R1D3 1N STYL3 >8]

[tg]

hey speaking of those artistic skills of yours
i got chalk
three boxes full
hopefully they will make up for the fact that theres a grand total of three coolkids on this godforsaken ship
so your palanquin will kind of resemble a camel with hemorrhoids

[mostsuitable]

[ Jesus, bro has got it goin' on. ]

Wait, I'm gonna be on the palanquin, too?
Fuck, bro. I'm not a Dave.

[tg]

you can be an honorary dave for however long it takes to haul her minty ass around the ship
youll thank me later

[mostsuitable]

[ Oh, that means... all the bros spending more time together. Sweet. ]

Ok.

[tg]

also you will not be on the palanquin
you will be under it
getting your beast of burden on
we will shed blood sweat and tears together
while the midblood holds the reins

[mostsuitable]

Works for me.
Hey, actually.
Where exactly are you bros going to be if I'm on the bottom?

[tg]

dont be an ass
were all going to be on the bottom
all three of us
you can let loose as many lifelike nickers as like
outside of the bedroom even
i bet youre hella jazzed for that

[realslimstrider]

dude were all on bottom
all of us
though i should probably be at the back because do you really want feathers in your face

[pythianjudgment]

1 W1LL T4K3 YOU UP ON TH4T C4M3L OFF3R
NO T4K3S13S B4CKS13S

YOUR TR1BUT3S W1LL 4LSO B3 GR4C1OUSLY 4CC3PT3D


4LSO 1 4M G3TT1NG TH3 F33L1NG TH4T 1 4M TR4PP3D 1N 4 HORR1BL3 D4YM4R3
WH3R3 1 H4V3 TWO 1D3NT1C4L OR4NG3 CR34MS1CL3S
ON3 FROM TH3 BON3F1D3 OR1G1N4L M4G1C M4K3RS OF TH3 D3SS3RT 1NDUSTRY
4ND 4NOTH3R FROM 4 BR4ND OF 1NS1D1OUS F4K3Y F4K3S
1 C4NT T3LL WH1CH 1S WH1CH
TH3 HORROR MOUNTS
1 W4K3 UP SCR34M1NG

BUT S3R1OUSLY
WHOS TH1S DOUCH3B4G?
4ND WHY 1S H3 NOT 4 D4V3?

[tg]

let me guess
its the capitalization and punctuation
theyre throwing you off
keep on licking eventually you will come to the realization that
one of these things is not like the others
one of these things is the other things brother

terezi meet dirk
hes an asshole but thats because his last name is strider

dirk meet terezi
shes an asshole but thats because some things youre born with

play nice

[pythianjudgment]

>:O!!!

W41T >:?
S1NC3 WH3N D1D YOUR BRO H4V3 4 N4M3

[tg]

uh
you know
that is a good question
i guess since he turned 13??
but idk

[pythianjudgment]

W3LL
1 4M GL4D TO KNOW TH4T H1S R34L N4M3 1S NOT BRO
OR BROSEPH
OR 4NG3L1N4 BROL13
OR SH3RLOCK BROLM3S
OR BROS3PH1N4

WH1L3 BOTH 4MUS1NG 4ND 3V4S1V3!
THOS3 4R3 4LL R34LLY DUMB N4M3S >:/

[tg]

wait compared to all of the above
you think dirk isnt a dumb name??
it is literally one letter away from dick
ok i can see your point it is actually the best name

also youve got to meet this dude named bropher

[pythianjudgment]

D1RK DO3S NOT 4CTU4LLY H4V3 TH3 WORD BRO 1N 1T!
WH1CH 1NH3R3NTLY M4K3S 1T L3SS F4K3Y 4ND DUMB >:]

WHO 1S BROPH3R >:?

[mostsuitable]

For the record, just because I'm not Dave doesn't mean I'm a fakey fake.
100% authentic Strider, no additives or preservatives, and wholly imperative to a well-balanced diet.
It's me, Dirk Strider.
And it just so happens that I'm like an actual demonstration of that hypothetical future loin offspring that you'd mentioned earlier.
Minus the loins because they started regulating that shit years ago.
Anyway, sup. Guess I'm cool with you if that's how the Dave duo rolls.
Which looks exactly like something they do.
Works for me.

[pythianjudgment]

YOU 4R3 4 F4K3Y F4K3Y B3C4US3 B1RD D4V3 4LR34DY H4S CL41M TO TH3 OR4NG3 CR34MS1CL3 3MPOR1UM
BUT 1 W1LL M4K3 4LLOW4NC3S FOR YOUR COV3T1NG OF TH3 OR4NG3 SL1C3 1NCORP3R4T1ON
B3C4US3 1 4M 4 GR4C1OUS 4L13N OF SUPR3M3 JUST1C3 L1K3 TH4T

4LSO 1 DONT W4NT TO H34R 4BOUT HUM4N LO1NS 4NYW4Y
1V3 H4D MOR3 TH4N 3NOUGH 3DUC4T1ON ON YOUR SQU1SHY 3XTR4 4PP3ND4G3S
4ND YOUR P4R4S1T1C GROWTH D3MONS

L3TS GO B4CK TO T4LK1NG 4BOUT HOW PYROP3S 4ND STR1D3RS ROLL
4LSO 4LSO
TH1S 1S V1T4LLY 1MPORT4NT.........................

DO YOU DR4W???

[mostsuitable]

Look, this has been my color for my whole life.
But I've always known that it'd never be mine alone.
Sounds like your so-called supreme justice is tainted with a bit of bias since you met the birdbro first.
Whatever. I'll just have to jive with that since I doubt any reasoning that I present isn't going to be enough for you.
Anyway, on to more pressing matters.
Yeah, I draw.
I'd normally use a tablet to do it, but the locker elves aren't being as generous to me as they were before.