001 ▸ video

[rhymeswithdeath]

[ The video feed starts, and Stephanie waves. She's sitting on her bed in her "room," smiling through the screen. ]

So, I've been thinking about the whole "space hell" theme this place has going on, and I came to the realization that not everything that happens here is going to be all rainbows and butterflies, obviously.

I mean, this ship is looking more horror sci-fi and less action adventure sci-fi every day. And I kind of like being alive and well, as surprising as that might sound.

[ She pauses, hesitating. ]

What I'm getting at is...would anyone be up for teaching me self-defense?

[ Not that she really needs the help, as self-defense was thoroughly covered in Bat-training.

But if Batgirl wants to go out and about, her alter ego has to be nothing but normal—Stephanie Brown, an average teenage girl with zero space experience, zero fighting experience, and zero spandex experience. ]

Comments

[tyrians]

wouldnt it be easier just to let you die or somefin

[rhymeswithdeath]

Yes.

But it would also be morally wrong.

[tyrians]

so

[voice]

[forlifeloveandcheese]

I'm up for it. The problem is you'd need a shield, a sword and a ton of upper body strength.

As a general question, you mean nobody's teaching defenseless people to protect themselves? Really? There should be mandatory classes for this stuff.

[video]

[rhymeswithdeath]

Upper body strength isn't my strong point, but I've been doing gymnastics and running track for years, so I'm fit, at least, if that helps?

[She nods.] Yeah. That surprised me too. I looked around the network, but didn't come across any classes.

Hopefully, I just missed the memo.

[video]

[forlifeloveandcheese]

Hm... I don't think you're suited for my kind of fighting style, sorry.

Maybe someone should start, then. Have you tried asking any of the men in security?

video;

[sugarbear]

[ After a moment's appraisal. ]

You should be careful making offers like that. There are some really dodgy sorts around here.

[ Okay so Casey would qualify. ]

video;

[rhymeswithdeath]

[ She runs a hand through her hair. ] I figured the dodgy ones wouldn't bother me over a public network.

video;

[sugarbear]

[ A grunt. ]

Pretty blond girl seeks hands on, one on one self defense classes. You've got a lot of faith in strangers. And this is a small ship. Lots of lonely people. Try to be more careful.

Video

[bottlearum]

What kinda self-defense are you willin' t'learn?

[Jack could possible teach you sword fighting and how to shoot things. If you pledge a life of piracy.]

Video 1/2

[rhymeswithdeath]

[You are Captain Jack Sparrow.

Please hold.]

Video 2/2

[rhymeswithdeath]

—any and all kinds. I'm flexible.

Video; LATE I SUCK

[bottlearum]

[Yes, he is Captain Jack Sparrow. Holding.

He grins. Just the sort of attitude he likes to hear. And even more so that she's flexible.]

If you can find a sword, I ain't got any problems teachin' you t'sword fight, luv.

[willpunchfaces]

[why hello there cute girl]

I can teach you how to shoot, if you want. [and some hand-to-hand but it's not his specialty]

[rhymeswithdeath]

[raises an eyebrow]

Shoot a gun or a bow and arrow?

[willpunchfaces]

Bow and arrow, but I can shoot anything if I need to.

audio;

[dirtyword]

There's a few bims and birds that can get you situated, if you haven't already bumped gums with 'em.

audio;

[learnedtosmile]

[Brendan your slang.]

What he means is, there are some people around who might be able to help you out, if you haven't spoken with them already.

You might want to try contacting some of the people on the security team, or possibly gunnery. I believe Jane Shepard has offered to help people with some basic self-defense in the past.

audio;

[dirtyword]

....

[ Really, Blake. Really? ]

I think I can speak just fine, bo.

video;

[rhymeswithdeath]

[Oh. She knows that voice.

h e h e]

Thanks for the translation and the advice. I'll keep the latter in mind as my quest continues.

video;

[rhymeswithdeath]

[After reading John's translation:]

I am still in the process of finding bims and birds to bump gums with, actually.

audio;

[dirtyword]

Got no recommendations?

Shepherd's the doll you're looking for if you want a dame, but she can hold her own. Real cat to go to is Issac.

don't mind me late to the party...

[onlysaneone]

[ Hmmmm. Azari's not entirely sure how to talk to these people. But he should be trying, right? And it's not like this girl who looks about his age should be without some self-defense training... ]

I can teach you a little hand to hand, and staff fighting. If you want. Uh, do you do gymnastics or anything?

not as late as me...

[rhymeswithdeath]

Gymnastics and track, mainly.

we win together, then!

[onlysaneone]

[ grins a little - running and acrobatics are his specialty ] I could probably teach you some tricks, then. If you wanted.