ataraxion | ( 001 ) PARKER'S POV

[ oh dear, he's never been good with these sorts of complicated things. ]

... hyper text transfer. A massive library of entertainment that can be transmitted over long distances. So -- somewhat like radio signals. But similar to these devices. So with visuals? [ totally not getting it. ]

I take it this 'bing' is like a librarian, then?

Not even. Not unless Bing's the really retarded librarian that gives you all the wrong answers to shit.

[Hey Soysauce. Why are you learning about the internet from random people? They'll tell you lies like that Bing is a decent search engine and shit.]

Guess you can call it like radio, but with video and info and more'n that. It's like all the shit we're starting to store here on the network, but this is fuckin' tiny, in comparison.

Ah -- [ oh gosh, this must be important, if simon's butting in just to correct him. ] -- right, of course. Please forgive me for being a little slow.

[ and then, pause. ]

So, the 'internet' is somewhat like a much larger version of this network. And ... there's a service for finding content that is incorrect? Is that to weed out information that may be misleading?

Baby steps, dude. The internet's a pretty big fuckin' deal. [Holy shit, he's being nice. Who'da thought that was possible.]

Yeah, yeah you're gettin' it. And there's these things called search 'engines' that help you find the shit you want, only some of them are assbackwards cockmongers who don't know valid search criteria from own nutsack.

Assb -- [ looking a little embarrassed as he rubs at his jaw with a hand, stopping short of actually echoing simon's words. gosh, such language! ]

Search engines, yes. So these are -- actual machines, if they contain engines? Made to imitate the way a person would look for information? Or are they merely devices similar to these ones used for communication?

[One day you'll gain resistance to it, man.]

Nah they're not actual machines, but they act like them. They're programs that do what you said, look for info for you like you would if you were rifling through an old fashioned library.

... I see. [ well, he doesn't quite get all of the details, but he's starting to get a hazy idea of what this is all about. ]

People must be awfully busy, if there's a need for mach -- programs that can perform such functions in their stead.

Man, if you tried to look for all the information on the internet without one, you'd never even find a tenth of it. Not kidding when I say it's really fucking massive. Think of a library with everything you could possibly know in it, and then triple it for the shit you don't.

Then try to look for one thing you wanted to know without an index.

[ an extended moment of silence as he tries (and fails) to imagine a library that gargantuan. gosh, what a mind-boggling concept. he'll stop before his brain starts to fry. ]

I -- must admit I can't quite grasp what you're saying, but I ... suppose such a thing would be troublesome to deal with.

It's one of those things you'll just have to see sometime, man. It'll blow your fuckin' mind.

But yeah. S'why search engines and shit exist, cause it'd be a pain in the dick to find anything otherwise.

Woah man. Bing is great. You don't have to deal with how much of a cop-out Google is, with the Adsense program.

[ OH NO GEEK BATTLE. ]

Google feed syndication doesn't turn up with good results anyway with how much people give into Search Engine Optimization. It's not really about the quality of content but how many keywords a guy can jam into a web page. At least bing keeps things honest.

[ JUST SAYING. ]

Dude, you have got to be kidding me.

[He doesn't think you're from where he's from but Bing is Bing and Google is Google, no matter what reality you're from. And no matter what reality, Bing sucks huge fat Hackman cock, okay.]

Bing assumes you're functionally retarded with it's autocorrect bullshit and changes your own searches to what it thinks you really want. You wanna talk about shitty results? Apparently relevance is overrated.

When Relevance can be bought - yeah, there's definitely some question of integrity. I mean, no offense - but have you looked at Google's Business models?

[ a beat. that said he does have a 'droid. ( PARKER WHY ARE YOU USING BING ) ]

Look, it's just - googles a pretty terrible search engine. Bing turns up results that matter.

You wanna talk about relevance being bought, bro? Bing's results are biased towards Microsoft or any of their buttbuddies whenever they get the chance. Google's not half that bad.

[The moment he notices Peter has a Droid, he's going to rib him so hard about it.]

So I think you've got shit flipped around in your brain. Bing's just terribad, all around.

Yeah, man. You're on the right track. The internet is basically a more limitless version of these devices because people have been continuously giving it content. These ones still fall short, cause there's less content and there's no way to seperate from all the vlogging and stuff.

I ... see. I suppose that makes sense.

-- though I hope you won't mind me asking what, ah -- 'vlogging' is?

You know. What everyone does here. They make a video, about - what's going on with them - or asking questions? Kinda like a video diary.

[ A beat. ]

So - I gotta ask. When are you from?

Aah, I see. Vlogging. [ bing, vlogging. what strange words. ] I think I understand.

[ a deep inhale, then a sigh before he gives a sheepish laugh. ] I suppose I'm a bit behind the times, compared to most others here? The year was 1952, where I'm from. So I'm afraid I've still much to learn.

That's not so behind. There are a couple of people on the network who can't seem to grasp the concept of keyboard. But yeah.

That's pretty cool. I mean, what was it like in 1952?

[ He's curious okay. followed by. ]

- Man, you must have been pretty shell shocked with all the on-ship technology.

Ah, well. I must admit it was quite startling getting used to these devices at first -- [ tapping a little at the side of his comms unit ] -- but three months is long enough to grow accustomed to most things. Plenty of people used radio and such, where I'm from, so I imagine this is all just an extension of that.

[ a slightly embarrassed laugh before he adds, ] Admittedly, I've given up on understanding exactly how these things work, since I've never been too good with such complex machinery.

( 001 ) PARKER'S POV | TEXT/IMAGE

no subject

/jacks

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

AND IT BEGINS.

GEEK RAGE

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject