[ audio ] of guilt and memory wiping

[heartbreaking]

In light of recent events upon the outpost it's clear that there are a number of us who are suffering the after-effects of torture. You all have my utmost sympathies - I have witnessed such things before and I will offer the same services here that I gave to my dear friend when he was put under a similar duress.

[ A duress that Durham himself instigated, yes, but that's another matter entirely. Or so Durham tells himself. ]

Whilst those who have been subjected to a torture most terrible are undoubtedly brave, it would not be thought of an act of cowardice to wish to rid oneself of the memory of such a trauma. Torture does not end just because one has been released from the cell; there are the lingering effects of anxious melancholies, exhausted spirits, weakened nerves... to say nothing of restless sleep.

You need not bear these memories as a millstone and for those that wish it I will gladly relieve you of such a burdensome weight. You may find me in my cabin - the eighth room upon the eighth passenger deck. Ask for Thomas Sutton - [ A thoughtful pause, then he adds: ] - or perhaps it would do better if you were to ask for Durham. Either way, I shall endeavour to do my utmost to help those that are prepared to ask for it.

[ Another pause, longer this time, and then Durham picks up again. This time his voice is harder, cooler; this is a matter of business, rather than a favour. ]

And while I am here I may as well announce this too - Oxford. Your Durham has disembarked. In light of this I propose a parlé. I would request that we meet un-armed but as both of us possess weapons that are not so easily cast aside, might I simply ask that it be under a white flag of truce? I do not know how many of your fellows remain on board but I suppose they may attend as well.

( OOC : Durham is essentially offering a bit of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Hit me up HERE if you have any questions! )

Comments

voice; encrypted to remaining order members.

[romanticism]

[ It's hard to miss a definite note of aggression and warning in Oxford's tone; he's still smarting from their first meeting after the jump, and he trusts the man about as far as he can throw him (which, despite the fact that Oxford has ample physical strength for a man of his age, would not be very far). The last thing he wants is the very individual that planned to mess around with his memories be given permission from others to do the same to them - and he certainly doesn't want a bloody parlé. ]

Removing the memories of a bad experience is exactly the opposite of what people need. Whatever your opinions on psychology might be, I can assure you they're outdated. If people are suffering after their ordeal, they need counselling to help overcome what they went through, someone who understands how to deal with trauma without brashly deleting it from their minds. [ Coldly: ] I would not advise you to offer such services without being utterly clear with what you are offering.

As for your parlé, I'll tell you what you can do with that, using a modern turn of phrase - you can stick it up your arse and forget it. Perhaps remove it from your own memories. [ He's a charmer when he wants to be, isn't he? ] You and I clearly have highly differing opinions on our roles and our organisations, and frankly the thought of giving my trust to someone as willing to abuse their ability as you makes me feel unwell.

[ It doesn't help that the modern Durham has left again; Oxford isn't sure how he feels about that, not yet. ]

As for my remaining colleagues, I shall not speak for them, but I'll ask that you keep your supposes to yourself. It's not for you to decide if they attend or not.

voice; dat encryption

[heartbreaking]

[ Ugh, Oxford, he was really trying, okay. His reply is an indignant explosion, temper barely concealed in the face of such blatantly offensive disregard. ]

Shall we talk of power abuse, sir? You, who - like most of my English colleagues - who would keep your power a secret from the very people it is supposed to help? Of the two of us, I am the one prepared to use my gift in order to assist those who need it most; tell me, sir, how many of your fellow passengers have you offered to help?

( V I D E O )

[wont]

[ And here Alayne peers with a curiosity so open that it might worry another person, given the nature of the man's offer. But she is a girl plagued with terrible memories, some of which she wishes away in the night and others to which she clings so fiercely it makes the whole of her ache. ]

You— you can do such a thing? Rid a man of unhappy memories?

( V I D E O )

[heartbreaking]

[ The video function is a bit of a novelty, but for the sake of a distressed looking young girl that looks so painfully like his own dear sister Durham would move mountains. The discovery of how to operate the video feed is nothing in that respect. ]

I can. [ Softly, he adds: ] And I consider the ability a service that far outweighs the purpose that it was initially designed to serve in both kindness and consideration.

( V I D E O )

[cloy]

[ It would be a lie to say that Ros wasn't impressed by the offer, but she's had so much practice being neither here nor there that her response comes off with its usual cheek. ]

Continuing to be a man'f surprises, Thomas Sutton?

( V I D E O )

[heartbreaking]

Ahh, Miss Ros. [ A smile of elation; Durham had hoped he might see that face once again. Her rhetoric is answered only with a knowing inclination of his head, a silent acknowledegment that, yes, perhaps there was more to him that he initially had let on. ] I do hope you were spared the horrors of the outpost?

video 75% encrypted

[amethysts]

[It has to be video to capture Libby's wide, horrified eyes.

She's not even angry yet. Just appalled.]

You want--you want to bring Strela on the ship.

You want to do it here too.

[Libby isn't afraid of much openly, but this--this scares her as much as Strela, which is more than anything.]

video 75% encrypted

[heartbreaking]

[ Her horror is met with a blank wall of confusion but Durham's greatest defence is a never-ending well of baffled, English politeness. ]

I beg your pardon, you seem to have the better of me - [ He shakes his head briefly, eyes narrowing in confusion. ] - I'm not entirely sure what you mean.

video 5% encrypted

[maredementis]

[Annie doesn't even hesitate. The face that greets him is almost glowing with hope.]

You'd do that? You'd do that for us?

video 5% encrypted

[heartbreaking]

[ To see this particular reaction Durham would endure all the vitriol of a thousand Oxfords.

Softly, he replies: ] If you wish it. I do not want to see unnecessary suffering when I can offer a remedy so easily.

[ video ]

[hostage]

[He'd been considering drugs. This is better than drugs, right?]

You can fix it?

[ video ]

[amethysts]

Jesse!

video;

[petitehands]

You can remove people's memories? [ She sounds a little unsettled by the idea. ] How?

video;

[heartbreaking]

[ Durham winces a little at the question; explaining the methodry behind his power has never been his strong point. ]

I am afraid I have never been able to adequately explain it, the talent comes so naturally... [ He shrugs awkwardly. ] It is simply a power; I have possessed for years.

video;

[stimulations]

If we could strip all our unpleasant memories away, we'd be rather lesser as people, I think. [It's a worrying prospect, really. He can't say he's comfortable with it at all.] But then, I do have the good luck not to have been afflicted with any.

video;

[heartbreaking]

I do not mean to undo any man's sense of person. [ The words are hurried and earnest; Durham seems more than aghast at the notion. ] I am merely referring to the torture of the outpost... And I do not think that being rid of the memory of pain and imprisonment makes any man a lesser person, not at all.

video;

[ringbearer]

..There are pains that cannot fully be cured even should you remove their source, sir.

video;

[heartbreaking]

Then those are not the pains that I seek to alleviate. [ A pause; Durham shakes his head softly. ] And I do not think myself able to cure. Simply to help.

permavid.

[culver]

[nill doesn't know if what he's saying is true, but... she can't even think of it as right. losing memories? she shakes her head fervently, brow creased and wings pressed close to her back. even with all the awful things that had happened to her, to people on this ship, it isn't natural, it isn't okay. she doesn't understand why anyone would want to forget. if they didn't have the past, what did they have?]

permavid.

[heartbreaking]

[ He watches the video with gentle expectation, as if wondering whether the girl on the other end of the feed would provide her thoughts on the matter. At the shake of his head Durham draws his lips in to a thin, rueful line and in turn shakes his own. ]

It is quite all right, miss. I did not expect everyone to find the offer agreeable.

voice;

[sweetmotherofgod]

You can do that?

[ There's a pause, a hitch in her voice. She's quiet - has been, since she got back from Strela, because all she wants is for the people she cares about to be safe and happy, and for now all she can do about that is to try to stop them worrying about her. But there are so many people in her head - Alessa and Cheryl and the lingering memories of the demon who pretended to be Angie, and it would be easier to smooth the way with all of them gone. ]

What if they're not - I mean, hypothetically speaking, would it work if the memories didn't technically belong to the person you were helping?

voice;

[heartbreaking]

[ Durham isn't nearly as surprised by the prospect of someone having memories that don't belong to them as the average man would be - after all, without a Lancaster operative on board he would still possess any memories he agrees to remove. ]

Hypothetically speaking... indeed it would, miss. [ He shakes his head, slowly but firmly, an unspoken pause on his end of the audio feed. ] But I'm afraid to say this is not the manner of memory that I am offering to remove.

[audio]

[fuckinghysterical]

[Even if she was one of the few that had narrowly escaped assimilation, there was part of her that was so tempted to take this man up on his offer, due to what she experienced before being brought to the Tranquility. There was nothing she wanted more than a peace of mind, but yet... she had her own reasons as to why she couldn't give into the man's generosity.]

I - I don't know how you're able to do a thing like that -- heheheh -- or if you actually can.

[Learning recently that her former superiors may not have been as honest with her as she thought, Sarina was more apt to be dubious of these sorts of claims.]

But... isn't it worse to forget? Haha? [A sigh is heard before she continues on in a quieter voice.] The same fucking mistake is bound to repeat itself that way.

[audio]

[heartbreaking]

I assure you, I am more than capable of such a feat. [ There's no pride in his voice, just a statement of fact (a little sad perhaps, but certainly not proud). ] Indeed, it has been my duty and my appointment to do as such, many hundred times over.

[ The question leaves him pausing thoughtfully, lips pursed as he considers her words. ]

I have considered the very same question many times over, and quite honestly I can say that I have never been in complete agreement with my own conclusions. [ His words are quiet but there's an added surety as he continues: ] But there are certainly things that one would be happier forgetting - and here I talk of pain and events out of one's control, not simply ill-advised actions and unfortunate decisions.

[NOT HERE]

[andblockbuster]

[Topher is NAILBITING his way through this entire post though. Oh God.]

[NOT HERE]

[heartbreaking]

[ Don't worry, memorybro. He's got this covered.

Sort of. ]

[voice]

[birdhousesoul]

No! Our memories, our experiences, are what make us who we are. You're offering people death, gift-wrapped.

[voice]

[heartbreaking]

[ Good grief, and Durham had thought he was dramatic. ]

Sir, I offer nothing of the sort! [ There's an impatient snort, as if the very idea was ludicrous. ] You know nothing of myself nor my business, but please do credit me a little understanding of the matter?

( V I D E O | encrypted 100% )

[starked]

[ There are things Tony would like to forget, the people closest to him know this because he trusts them enough to tell them about how some things are better left unspoken. Tony is different from everyone else though, sure, he'd love to forget his childhood and a father who he still tries to beat back in his head, but what he wants to forget the most is something he can't because no matter what he did, the constant reminder would be whirring in his chest. (Remembering the feeling of almost dying before it was put in, though, that is something he could do without.) Still, it makes him pause and forces him to ask a question. ]

Do you have to take the entire memory?

( V I D E O | encrypted 100% )

[heartbreaking]

Not at all. In fact, I was not planning to take any complete memories - simply the more troubling details. [ He purses his lips, brows furrowing as he thinks on the matter. ] Of physical hurt, mainly, but from what I hear the outpost provided more pain of the mind than the body.

Text | 100% encryption

[snaketrap]

And the memories go where?

Text | 100% encryption

[heartbreaking]

[ Ah. The little detail that Durham was yet to publicly elaborate on. ]

I take them upon myself for a little while. Until I find some manner of purging them.

video;

[hisfinestact]

[ Jaime cocks his head to one side. ]

That's a convenient skill to have.

video;

[heartbreaking]

[ Durham inclines his head in quiet acknowledgment, but his tone is far from pleased. ]

It is a skill that has been badly employed in the past. I seek to rectify that, if I can.

video

[redhotsummers]

You know, I'd tell you how fucking wrong this is, but I think other people are covering that for me.

[Alex has had horrible trauma in his life; as much as he wishes it never happened, he'd never forget it, because it would take away pieces of what made him, him.]

video

[heartbreaking]

[ Oh dear god, and from a child now as well. Durham takes a breath and treats the video feed to the same weary look as he has bestowed upon so many nay-sayers so far. ]

Then I thank you whole-heartedly for your discretion in not informing me once again.

text

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

[Wow sir you are just hitting all the right buttons here.]

How does a man do this?

text

[heartbreaking]

It is a power that was given to many some years ago but I am sorry to say that I cannot quite explain it in a technical fashion.

[voice]

[jurisimpudent]

[He hasn't been using voice much lately, but here, he has to - ]

That's absurd.

[voice]

[heartbreaking]

[ There's a brief, weary exhale on Durham's end of the video feed as he braces himself. ]

Which part of it, sir?

[consulting]

At what cost?

SH

[ This week, in bad decisions - Sherlock. ]

[heartbreaking]

Sir, I cannot honestly tell if this is simply a dramatic piece of rhetoric or if you are inquiring as to whether I ask for payment.

[video]

[circumitus]

[Memories.

[She remembers what it's like, waking up without them. Her mind scraped of all the things that defined her. She remembers the anger she's left with, the frustration and the hate. Thrown out to the hungry dogs, wrestling over milkbones. Wandering for so long with those bits of scraps that are clean from her head.

[What memories she has, that are gained, are hardly pleasant. Torture, trauma. The wolves tearing meat and flesh apart. Cities laid to waste. A boy crying with his eyes nearly torn out, prying his dead father's corpse off of him as he's seconds away from burning alive. None of these are nice things. All of them scream to her in sleep and dreams. She remembers them now, like small pages ripped out of a book. A certain memory comes to her sometimes. She's putting a bullet through the temple of a sniper, who she had been hunting for weeks in the treacherous storms of Russia. So cold...

[Her name was "Isobel!"]

...Disgusting.

[That's all she has to say about that. About memories, and what people do with them. About Strela, and its lovely cure to the human condition. About everyone who has even considered this offer, and then some.]

[video]

[heartbreaking]

[ Another weary exhale. Durham shakes his head, gaze sliding from the video feed to cast about the room, as he softly replies: ]

I did not expect that such an offer would be found agreeable by all - [ His gaze returns to the screen, at once both cool and quietly beseeching. ] - But perhaps you might save your disgust for something that truly warrants it.

[statsraaden]

[Stats recognises the description of what he's going though.] I think you've got it right. I'm going though exactly this.

Nevertheless, I think I'll keep the memories. So that it doesn't happen again. [And he's determined for that.]

[heartbreaking]

That is, of course, your prerogative, sir. There are some who may yet feel equipped to deal with such trauma - but when there are those who would prefer not to remember the more particular details of the outpost I cannot stand idly by. [ A thoughtful pause, then he asks: ] You think that such a thing is likely to happen again?

voice;

[therangerking]

You would call such remembrances a burden?

[ Calmly. ]

voice;

[heartbreaking]

Of pain and torture? Indeed I would, sir.

voice.

[justthedriver]

We got to sample wares before buying product?

[ You might recognise this voice. ]

voice.

[heartbreaking]

[ Ah. It doesn't take a man of such mnemokinetic talents as Durham to recognise that particular voice. ]

Sir, you seem to be confusing me with a greengrocer.