[ audio ] of guilt and memory wiping

[heartbreaking]

In light of recent events upon the outpost it's clear that there are a number of us who are suffering the after-effects of torture. You all have my utmost sympathies - I have witnessed such things before and I will offer the same services here that I gave to my dear friend when he was put under a similar duress.

[ A duress that Durham himself instigated, yes, but that's another matter entirely. Or so Durham tells himself. ]

Whilst those who have been subjected to a torture most terrible are undoubtedly brave, it would not be thought of an act of cowardice to wish to rid oneself of the memory of such a trauma. Torture does not end just because one has been released from the cell; there are the lingering effects of anxious melancholies, exhausted spirits, weakened nerves... to say nothing of restless sleep.

You need not bear these memories as a millstone and for those that wish it I will gladly relieve you of such a burdensome weight. You may find me in my cabin - the eighth room upon the eighth passenger deck. Ask for Thomas Sutton - [ A thoughtful pause, then he adds: ] - or perhaps it would do better if you were to ask for Durham. Either way, I shall endeavour to do my utmost to help those that are prepared to ask for it.

[ Another pause, longer this time, and then Durham picks up again. This time his voice is harder, cooler; this is a matter of business, rather than a favour. ]

And while I am here I may as well announce this too - Oxford. Your Durham has disembarked. In light of this I propose a parlé. I would request that we meet un-armed but as both of us possess weapons that are not so easily cast aside, might I simply ask that it be under a white flag of truce? I do not know how many of your fellows remain on board but I suppose they may attend as well.

( OOC : Durham is essentially offering a bit of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Hit me up HERE if you have any questions! )

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( V I D E O | THE SAD TALES OF LYING STARKS ENCRYPTION | 100% )

[starked]

[ Tony doesn't mean to make Alayne cry, in fact, that is the last thing he wanted to do. Her crying means that his (the Man of Iron's) story has hurt her and the last thing he wanted to do was cause her more pain.

At the same time, though, her tears mean that she understands. She understands how keeping secrets like this hurt. It makes her feel like true family, the little sister he's never been able to have (not the daughter because he could never). She doesn't know that he is so painfully aware that she is a trueborn Stark and that lying to her abut his heritage and just lying to her about the extent of his knowledge hurts more than it does with any of her siblings. It makes his heart ache and his stomach knot in unpleasant ways. (He has kin here, though they share no last names. He does not want to admit it though, for that way lies weakness and opens him up for more pain.) ]

I figured a girl would like to hear it. [ Tony has to clench his jaw to prevent himself from saying that he knows. He knows Petyr is not her father and that he protects that secret with his life. ]

Alayne, don't cry, seriously, please don't cry. I will take your goodness that you're giving me just don't cry. [ He pauses, and shuts his eyes for a moment as he tries to make sure he doesn't say anything that seems out of place before he finally says what he wishes he didn't have to. ]

I am far less good than you think I am. Trust me. If anyone is undeserving of trust and honesty, it's me. You've earned it and that is no easy feat. Remember that.

( V I D E O | THE SAD TALES OF LYING STARKS ENCRYPTION | 100% )

[wont]

[ Alayne has suffered many things and at the hands of many people, but what she feels now — that pang in her heart as she looks at Tony Stark's face and knows that he struggles on her behalf &mdahs; is not something she would trade away. Not readily or willingly, in any case. It is the ache that comes from caring for another person deeply and knowing that they care for her as well — the acknowledgment that, even in pain, there is the possibility for companionship and understanding. Perhaps Tony was less good than Alayne believed, but she was no different, was she? She who lied to him with every breath, with every utterance of her name and those of the Starks.

The question, then: Was ever a man truly good? A man that lived and breathed and while others died? Ned Stark had been good, as had been his lady wife and their eldest son. And all of them had died, clutching tight to their goodness. (Was it better to live or to die?)

She shakes her head and perhaps it madness that befalls her (perhaps a lingering desperation, the desire to do good; to be clean, as white as snow; to be Sansa again). ] And what if I told you a terrible lie? A lie that I could never take back, even if you were to know the truth?

[ Absently, in the back of her mind, she wonders what Petyr would think of such a confession. What Arya would think. Or Topher. Or Jon. ] Would you think me so deserving then?

( V I D E O | THE SAD TALES OF LYING STARKS ENCRYPTION | 100% )

[starked]

[ If you were to ask Tony, this is something she should trade away. The pang in her heart and in his means caring about another person, of course, but more importantly it means knowing that they're important to you. Losing someone who makes you feel these things on the ship and it means you are weak; it means you cry for those you lose and you would do anything to forget that you even care. Alayne tells lies like Tony, but hers are for survival and his are merely for family. For the companionship and kinship that they offer if he says he is a Stark of Winterfell (a Southern Stark still is a direwolf, fiercely loyal to those it cares for). It will come out eventually and he knows it, but for now the lie helps him — steadies him in ways that he doesn't understand.

The answer: A boy was good, but a man was never good and fights to become good while still pretending to be bad. A convoluted answer, but a true one nonetheless.

He stares, eyeing the her mockingbird for a moment before looking at her face. He is aware of the lie, and yet he will not speak of it, not unless she speaks of it first. ] If you told me a terrible lie, I would think you are as deserving as you are now.

You would have to do something far worse to lose the loyalty of this wolf.