ANONYMOUS TEXT ♙ OO2

[teashop]

Dear interested parties,

Do you feel low? Trapped? Are you discontent, world-weary, indifferent? Can you take no more?

Or are you simply curious?

Worry not. For a price, you may be the lucky receiver of a vial of exquisite Euphoria. This singular liquid guarantees an immediate feeling of transcendent happiness, incredible elation, soaring ecstasy, and sublime joy. Be content at long last in the hands of this thrilling drink - feel your troubles slip away as this very human emotion transports you to an experience like no other.

One fl oz per vial. One drop is equal to one hour of pure, undiluted Euphoria. Don't take more than one drop at a time, or your brains might make for the wallpaper. Mixable with other drinks. Use wisely.

This transaction will be treated as an auction; the bidding will end in five days' time. Paper payment won't be accepted. Favors won't be accepted. I'll decide the highest bidder. Your purchase will be delivered to a place of your choosing, and your payment to a place of mine.

Bidding begins now.

Comments

[megamind]

Because people totally want magic drugs from anonymous sources after another anonymous source wants to kill, threaten or otherwise taunt ten of us.

[teashop]

Some people might, you never know.

[audio WHAT ARE YOU DOING NO STOP]

[testgasm]

[SQUINTING

SQUIN...TING...]

...Euphoria.

TEXT | cackling into the night

[teashop]

Euphoria.

anon text; nope this isn't the bad one.

[adlered]

i'm dreadfully curious to see what everyone offers.

euphoria on a ship where others have experienced fear and worry.

brilliant timing.

anon text; sobbing

[teashop]

Thought it might be nice nightcap, after that last... event.

text.

[handelaar]

Proof

text.

[teashop]

Sorry. You'll have to rely on my word.

It's been tested.

anon text; this is the bad one

[starked]

how long?

anon text; STILL SOBBING

[teashop]

One hour. Give or take a minute or two.

[tarheel]

yep, this ought to be good.

[teashop]

Pretty much.

[circumitus]

you're serious?

[teashop]

Wouldn't have made the post otherwise.

voice;

[cloy]

[ Can't read. Nope. ]

Someone feel like indulging a girl and letting her know if this is notice that we're all going to die? A bit rude, really. There's some of us who never had the luxury of learning to read, and we'd like to keep our heads, good as the rest of you.

voice;

[bostrumite]

Somebody's supposedly offering joy-in-a-bottle for... trade. Probably not true, and also not a death threat. Yet.

... how do you not know how to read? [ what is tact. ]

text

[mutelunatic]

[SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TAKE ANY CHANCES]

bidding what?

text

[teashop]

You tell me.

[consulting]

Seven cigarette packs for everything.
Alternatively, access to the PA system.
Or cufflinks.


SH

[teashop]

Hm.

Anything else?

[majestyofthethrone]

Are you a drug dealer?

[teashop]

Depends on how you define 'drug'.

video;

[kingofbabylon]

[ FFFFF DRUGS. WAY TO PING THE QAF KID, HATTER. ]

Cooking. Drawings. Sex. Really bad singing. [ stop him when he hits something good. ]

video;

[cloy]

[ Trading sex for a bit of joy? WAY TO PING THE MEDIEVAL WHORE, JUSTIN. ]

Aren't you a pretty one.

text; lmao not even gonna be anon because who else talks like this

[saidhe]

speaking as someone with friends in exceedingly low places, it would be endlessly foolish to accept such an offer without proof of product.

driveby

[handelaar]

Working on it

voice.

[therangerking]

Of what herb is it made?

[ This sounds disturbingly like the One Ring with better marketing campaign. ]

text.

[teashop]

Not sure it's one you'd know of.

[ AVOID AVOID AVOID ]

Text

[godofthemachine]

How rich. Bottled euphoria. I'll love to see how many people actually believe this.

Text

[teashop]

Oh, it's 100% true.

We'll see who ends up with the prize.

voice.

[shoyu]

[ TEXT WHAT IS TEXT ]

Drinks aren't enough to help people get their mind off things here?

text.

[teashop]

Some do what they have to. Not my place to judge them.

[ and yet... ]

text;

[65]

I imagine this comes with some kind of catch.

text;

[teashop]

Other than the payment? None.

Video.

[fly_like_pie]

[Video because PIE MAKER DOESN'T GET IT, SO HAVE THIS DOG-HEADTILT.]

It's a drug?

text.

[teashop]

[ squint. ]

Some might call it that.

[ read as: pretty much. ]

[awakenings]

Liquid euphoria. And it works.

[teashop]

Yes.

[audio]

[saint_kitten]

Ooh, that sounds lovely. A shame I only have my talents and a nice outfit with me here. Unless you're a lovely lady? I do have make-up. Or if you're a man, well.

[ It's not the first time she's done this--her voice is still light. Casual. ]

I don't really do anything too risky, just some heavy petting and some other sorts but I'm sure I could make it worth your while, sweet thing.

NOT HERE

[oyster]

[ But seriously, why is everyone offering Hatter sex? And why does Alice care? Linefacing FOREVER. ]

video;

[stimulations]

[Drugs have never been a direct interest of his, and he doesn't have anything he could trade, anyway, but he is curious:]

And how exactly is it that one manages to liquidise human emotion? Taking the description literally, that is. I imagine it isn't an easy thing, considering the value you seem to be holding it at.

text;

[teashop]

I'm not sure of the process [ which is a dirty lie ] but I can't imagine it's easy, either.

However. It is valuable. Maybe not to some, but to others.

[text]

[doggedly]

EASY.

[text]

[teashop]

Easy?

Text;

[shadeling]

You're offering an escape from reality, then?

Text;

[teashop]

You could say that.

But the emotion - it's real. Very real.

So you'd have to wonder if it's truly an escape from reality, or a heightened experience of it.

Text;

[theblogger]

What are the side-effects?

Text;

[teashop]

None, if you only take one drop. I can't be responsible for what happens if you don't follow the rules.

video;

[entrapments]

If it does all that, why aren't you keeping it for yourself?

text;

[teashop]

Not quite my cup of tea.