ataraxion | [video] 002

_{[ Hi Tranquility. Are you ready dor a mouthfull? Cause you're getting it. Feed clicks on to show America, apparently just out of his jumpsuit and in his boxers. He's just seated on his bed, hair tousled a bit, evidently not very concerned about his appearance even though he's addressing who knows how many people. He's too lazy to get up. He's eating out of a bag of chips that he found aboard the ship when exploring the facilities; that is what he spent all day doing.
Giving the communicator a bit of a salute, he says something incoherent with his mouth full before flashing a grin. ]}

HEEEEEY YOU GUYS. EVENING, DUDES, THIS IS YOUR HERO SPEAKING. GOT SOME IMPORTANT TO SAY. You better listen up, I've also got a surprise for you all! _{[ He adjusts his posture, throat clearing. ]}

Hahaha, righto! SO! If you are unfamiliar with EARTH, or whatever, I've been awesomely awesome as usual and drew myself a map for you dudes so you can understand the very, VERY, important things about the Earth I've graciously drawn out for you. Yeah, I'm a nice guy! Hahahaaha! So, here we go! It looks something like THIS, are you ready?? Tony, bro, if you will please!

_{[ A little grey alien jumps into view, holding up a piece of paper which looks like this: ]}

HAHAA. RIGHT, so that totally accurate cause I drew it! Everything circled is MINE, and I pointed out my dick cause it has the HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH! This is for you slackers that didn't pay attention to American geography class for whatever reason!! Hahaha, so! On the subject of my dick, _{[ pointing to the map as he say all of this ]} I'll just segway as to why THIS IS MY DICK. If you don't know what the shit I'm talking about, I'M GONNA EXPLAIN. _{[ A brief pause to stuff some chips in his mouth and he speaks, lips smacking before swallowing. ]}

--So, I figure I'll be the heroic one and take responsibility here. I'm gonna break something to you all just in case you hear country names being thrown around and you're all: Oh my GOD WHAT THE SHIT!?!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE ALFRED, OH GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING.
RIIIIIIIGHT, chill out, here's the low-down. Some of us you may talk to are the embodiments of our respectable countries we're being called. We're like the spirits of our countries like some crazy Miyazaki film or something. SO YEAH YOU HEARD ME. YEAH IT'S MIND-BLOWING, INNIT? BUT YOU KNOW THIS WHOLE THING IS MIND-BLOWING,. I MET CAPTAIN KIRK WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE FICTIONAL, SO WHATEVER, DUDE. And we have human names just for kicks, and when we gotta use them for living out normal life shit or something. [ He picks at his nose slightly before continuing. ]
Uh, okay, RIGHT SOMETHING COOL: Apparently people also can be from different timelines and alternate dimensions and it's REALLY FUCKING FAR OUT AND AWESOME! BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT BESIDES THE FACT YOU MAY BE FROM OUR WORLD, OR YOU MAY NOT.

Anyway, back on the subject of us, basically we're all really, really important and have a degree of immortality and super strength and stamina last I checked! The citizens and the government make us up, parts of the landmass coincide with parts on our body, etccc, etccc, yadda yadda. So far there are only four of us I've seen on this ship! We're hundreds of years old, we age differently, we die differently, we've fought in wars, we've done responsibilities that you don't even KNOW OF, MAN. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.

OKAY SOOOOO, ONTO THE INTROS I'll introduce!
If you see a girl that thinks she has a dick, has long hair with a flower in it sometimes, that's Hungary! Maybe you know her as Elizaveta. F.Y.I, J.S.Y.K HISTORY LESSON: She used to be married to this dude named Austria, or Roderich if you give a shit about European history, which I really don't!! Haha! He's here and he has glasses and is like a pansy. They're both from the 1950's for some reason! WHICH REALLY BLOWS MY MIND CAUSE HOLY SHIT IT'S LIKE BACK TO THE FUTURE.
Hahaha! Right! And the other one is Natalia, or Belarus. If you meet a crazy lady that wants to marry her brother, that's her and you should just.. be careful. She's former USSR and scary as shit. She's from the year crazy and will ALWAYS be there. Basically I gotta say about her; just be cautious, even if she's hot. Don't give into her hotness, she'll lure you in like a she-devil and propaganda your shit out.

_{[ A bit of laughter, sounding a bit nervous if anything, he throws his head back. ]}

HAHAHA! SO ANYWAY, DUDES. There's one of us for every country! Isn't that kind of AWESOME?? Other country guys that I haven't seen are England. You can tell by his massive eyebrows and Simon Cowell I-hate-my-life personality that he is England and I kicked his ass in the Revolution. Juuuuust thought I'd throw that out there for you people that aren't familiar with anything pertaining to America. Never try anything he cooks, and he hallucinates fairies and shit. Just ignore that; he's loony--
If you see a guy with a fat face, fat nose, fat ass, fat stomach, that's Russia, or Ivan! He's stupid and you shouldn't like him. Why? Well, he's a Communist power hungry dick and I beat his ass in the Cold War! [ no you didn't ] Yeah, I know I'm cool.
Oh! And one more I'll talk about. if you see a dude that looks like lady with blond hair and a thick accent, you should just run! That's the Frenchie, or Francis, and he smells like garlic and he's basically a pervert. Aaaaaall you gotta know about him. Those are just a few of us! But like I said, I've only seen Hungary, Austria, and Belarus.

_{[ A beat, he takes a deep breath. ]}

SO LAY IT ON ME, DUDES AND DUDETTES. Am I making myself clear? Get it? Map of the earth? We're the embodiments of that? We're the SHIT COOOOOOL AWESOME? DISNEYWORLD IS ON MY DICK???

HAAHAA, SO. If you have any questions regarding this, feel free to contact me!
This is Alfred F. Jones, the United States of America......
OVER AND OUT!!!!

_{[ THE MOST CONFUSING EXPLANATION EVER, BUT HERE YOU GO. ]}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The Great Depression? Man, talk about a depressing topic to start things with.

Yeah. I remember that; it mainly started around 1929. And every time to stock market or an economic crisis arrives, it sort of puts me on edge; really tensed up kind of stuff. I don't want that to happen again; I don't want to see my citizens suffer in that sort of way again.

During the time though, I really couldn't spend any money on anything; like me as a person. Me as my representation, it didn't just effect me financially, but it made me feel really fragile; weak... vulnerable. Something I hated and something that terrifies me.

It couldn't get out of bed; nothing as interesting to me anymore. Ten years earlier I had promised not to drink as much as I used to. It was hard to keep to that promise during this time.

I... uh.. I also had Lithuania staying with me at the time. He was my only real company and provided services for me since he was too poor to work in his homeland. Russia took him back around this time, though.. I was left alone in a giant house when that was the worst time for me to be left alone...

I had to eventually rely and trust president to pull me out of the mess. It took longer than expected, but uh, yeah.

_{[ He nibbles on his lower lip a bit. ]}

Stuff like that you don't easily forget.

[ well she wanted to see another side of him. she got her wish it seems.

the screen flickers on then, as the face of ariadne appears then. her expression slightly somber and she just looks at him a moment.

before a ghost of a smile crosses her face, as if to say, nice to see you. ]

Well. It's nice to see you have some emotions other then the cockyness.

_{[ ... and he keeps going on. RUNNING HIS MOUTH. ]}

---Dude, it's so totally uncool Ivan took him away like that, what a major dick! He did all of my laundry and cooked meals and mopped my floors so I could slide on them with my socks on and made me coffee--!

UGH, I miss him so much! And on top of that there's just so many responsibilities I don't like those they're way not cool sure it's like challenge accepted or whatever but there are so many things I have to do like I'm pressured to go green and I'm like what the hell if I run out of resources I can just ask my bro Canadia for help no problem and ughh this recession is like totally wearing down on me and makes me feel sick at my stomach I'm sort of thinking the boss-man isn't going to pull through with his promises like always and MAN there is that shit debt I owe to China that freaks me out man what if he approaches me at some point since he knows I'm vulnerable right now, huh--!? HUH???

Dude, I don't think I can handle that sort of pressure right now--!! That's just some of it--!

_{[ He runs his hand along his nose and taks a breath, huffhuff. FORCING A SMILE ON HIS FACE THERE. Sometimes it feels nice to ramble all of that out; and that's just part of it.]}

No, nononono. It's totally okay, I've got this. I'm a hero. I'm a superhero. I've got this. I'VE GOT THIS.

You didn't see anything, man. Aaahahaaa-- I just get to talking too fast sometimes; it's all good.

Edited 2011-12-17 15:57 (UTC)

[ and there went her moment of sympathy for him - just slightly - she still sorta feels for him.

a small sigh, head tilting to the side slightly as she just watches, considering his actions a moment. ] You know, no one here expects you to have all the answers. Claiming to be the hero isn't needed.

Maybe you could try not to always impress or talk big here? We all are in the same position here, so you don't have to put on a show, okay?

You don't understand. I gotta be the hero. I gotta save people. I want to save people.

_{[ He half shrugs. ]}

Yeah.. maybe.. or something. Or whatever.

Edited 2011-12-18 00:59 (UTC)

[video] 002

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