ataraxion | [video] 002

[video] 002

_{[ Hi Tranquility. Are you ready dor a mouthfull? Cause you're getting it. Feed clicks on to show America, apparently just out of his jumpsuit and in his boxers. He's just seated on his bed, hair tousled a bit, evidently not very concerned about his appearance even though he's addressing who knows how many people. He's too lazy to get up. He's eating out of a bag of chips that he found aboard the ship when exploring the facilities; that is what he spent all day doing.
Giving the communicator a bit of a salute, he says something incoherent with his mouth full before flashing a grin. ]}

HEEEEEY YOU GUYS. EVENING, DUDES, THIS IS YOUR HERO SPEAKING. GOT SOME IMPORTANT TO SAY. You better listen up, I've also got a surprise for you all! _{[ He adjusts his posture, throat clearing. ]}

Hahaha, righto! SO! If you are unfamiliar with EARTH, or whatever, I've been awesomely awesome as usual and drew myself a map for you dudes so you can understand the very, VERY, important things about the Earth I've graciously drawn out for you. Yeah, I'm a nice guy! Hahahaaha! So, here we go! It looks something like THIS, are you ready?? Tony, bro, if you will please!

_{[ A little grey alien jumps into view, holding up a piece of paper which looks like this: ]}

HAHAA. RIGHT, so that totally accurate cause I drew it! Everything circled is MINE, and I pointed out my dick cause it has the HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH! This is for you slackers that didn't pay attention to American geography class for whatever reason!! Hahaha, so! On the subject of my dick, _{[ pointing to the map as he say all of this ]} I'll just segway as to why THIS IS MY DICK. If you don't know what the shit I'm talking about, I'M GONNA EXPLAIN. _{[ A brief pause to stuff some chips in his mouth and he speaks, lips smacking before swallowing. ]}

--So, I figure I'll be the heroic one and take responsibility here. I'm gonna break something to you all just in case you hear country names being thrown around and you're all: Oh my GOD WHAT THE SHIT!?!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE ALFRED, OH GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING.
RIIIIIIIGHT, chill out, here's the low-down. Some of us you may talk to are the embodiments of our respectable countries we're being called. We're like the spirits of our countries like some crazy Miyazaki film or something. SO YEAH YOU HEARD ME. YEAH IT'S MIND-BLOWING, INNIT? BUT YOU KNOW THIS WHOLE THING IS MIND-BLOWING,. I MET CAPTAIN KIRK WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE FICTIONAL, SO WHATEVER, DUDE. And we have human names just for kicks, and when we gotta use them for living out normal life shit or something. [ He picks at his nose slightly before continuing. ]
Uh, okay, RIGHT SOMETHING COOL: Apparently people also can be from different timelines and alternate dimensions and it's REALLY FUCKING FAR OUT AND AWESOME! BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT BESIDES THE FACT YOU MAY BE FROM OUR WORLD, OR YOU MAY NOT.

Anyway, back on the subject of us, basically we're all really, really important and have a degree of immortality and super strength and stamina last I checked! The citizens and the government make us up, parts of the landmass coincide with parts on our body, etccc, etccc, yadda yadda. So far there are only four of us I've seen on this ship! We're hundreds of years old, we age differently, we die differently, we've fought in wars, we've done responsibilities that you don't even KNOW OF, MAN. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.

OKAY SOOOOO, ONTO THE INTROS I'll introduce!
If you see a girl that thinks she has a dick, has long hair with a flower in it sometimes, that's Hungary! Maybe you know her as Elizaveta. F.Y.I, J.S.Y.K HISTORY LESSON: She used to be married to this dude named Austria, or Roderich if you give a shit about European history, which I really don't!! Haha! He's here and he has glasses and is like a pansy. They're both from the 1950's for some reason! WHICH REALLY BLOWS MY MIND CAUSE HOLY SHIT IT'S LIKE BACK TO THE FUTURE.
Hahaha! Right! And the other one is Natalia, or Belarus. If you meet a crazy lady that wants to marry her brother, that's her and you should just.. be careful. She's former USSR and scary as shit. She's from the year crazy and will ALWAYS be there. Basically I gotta say about her; just be cautious, even if she's hot. Don't give into her hotness, she'll lure you in like a she-devil and propaganda your shit out.

_{[ A bit of laughter, sounding a bit nervous if anything, he throws his head back. ]}

HAHAHA! SO ANYWAY, DUDES. There's one of us for every country! Isn't that kind of AWESOME?? Other country guys that I haven't seen are England. You can tell by his massive eyebrows and Simon Cowell I-hate-my-life personality that he is England and I kicked his ass in the Revolution. Juuuuust thought I'd throw that out there for you people that aren't familiar with anything pertaining to America. Never try anything he cooks, and he hallucinates fairies and shit. Just ignore that; he's loony--
If you see a guy with a fat face, fat nose, fat ass, fat stomach, that's Russia, or Ivan! He's stupid and you shouldn't like him. Why? Well, he's a Communist power hungry dick and I beat his ass in the Cold War! [ no you didn't ] Yeah, I know I'm cool.
Oh! And one more I'll talk about. if you see a dude that looks like lady with blond hair and a thick accent, you should just run! That's the Frenchie, or Francis, and he smells like garlic and he's basically a pervert. Aaaaaall you gotta know about him. Those are just a few of us! But like I said, I've only seen Hungary, Austria, and Belarus.

_{[ A beat, he takes a deep breath. ]}

SO LAY IT ON ME, DUDES AND DUDETTES. Am I making myself clear? Get it? Map of the earth? We're the embodiments of that? We're the SHIT COOOOOOL AWESOME? DISNEYWORLD IS ON MY DICK???

HAAHAA, SO. If you have any questions regarding this, feel free to contact me!
This is Alfred F. Jones, the United States of America......
OVER AND OUT!!!!

_{[ THE MOST CONFUSING EXPLANATION EVER, BUT HERE YOU GO. ]}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[You just wait until you walk in on her one day-- it's inevitable. She will make you rue the day. Until then, you get this only marginally awkward moment that she will remember for later. Handing back the paper, Natalia shrugged]

I had a certain conversation with a pale ginger child that was supposedly an intelligent piece of A.I. before coming here -- he was the first to mention the two and the moon we are orbiting. No specifics, however, I am having no belief that machinery would be dishonest, da?

[and since she's being verbose, she will close with STRAIGHT TO THE POINT]

You, however, have reasons to be dishonest. [a teasing smile --run for the hills boy] You would love to play target practice with me.

I would not. Sure, there are things about you I disagree with, but you're not Russia whom I would never save unless my boss forced me.

If I did, I would have shot at you and not even let you in my room. But, until you give me legit threats other than your typical threateningness...

I'm saving and protecting you like everybody else on this ship.

Edited 2011-12-14 05:52 (UTC)

[pauses in the initial DON'T WORRY, BRAT; I'LL SAVE HIM! to give an irritated grunt]

I will be fine without you hovering, Amerika--
Plus, answer honestly; you are not having more ammunitions for your gun. I would conserve those for the horrible dangers of space as you say, hm?

[She's such a brat.]

... You sure? I mean, I wouldn't want you to like... get really hurt or anything if you're just being yourself and not really threatening anyone.
--Well, I guess that's part of being yourself, but not the point.

I'll still be watching you.

_{[ He plops down next to her, chewing on his lip, looking a bit nervous. However, he catches onto this and quickly changes the subject to hide vulnerability. ]}

----So, who knows how long we'll be on this ship.
I think--

_{[ He turns halfway to face her. ]}

If you're ever feeling super duper lonely, and need some, you know.... company that can occupy and distract you...

_{[ not so subtly flexing his arm, looking proud. ]}

You can visit me. Just don't be scary, okay?

[She's fine with him sitting next to her, well, fine enough. Any time that America is looking less cocky she finds him a bit more tolerable-- which is unfortunate that it's so short-lived.

Her attention goes from politely ignoring his moment of pouting to shooting him a blank look, obviously unsatisfied by the turn in conversation]

That would be distracting you from 'being the hero'. Yes? Yes.
--And gathering more field notes to figure a way for us to be back home.

[stiffly:] I have been lonely in the past-- I can handle being lonely now. [Plus she's fairly sure his request is purely selfish and based on hormones rather than companionship. Hey. She COULD be smacking you right now, but she's just going to give you every other brand of denial first this time. Good deal.]

...stop flexing.

I'm not flexing. Just stretching my arm.

_{[ He folds his arms in such a way to flex both his arms by doing this, looking at her in thought. His head cocks to the side. ]}

Well. Okay. Know my number if you ever need anything, okay? I, uh..
_{I wouldn't mind visits from anyone.}

[there is a great deal of silence from Belarus before:] I knew you were being fond of me. [pats, out of sympathy]

I will consider it. If I need additional stress I will come to you.

I don't cause stress. I'm helpful.
And I'll even help you out cause I'm sure you will need it.

_{[ He scratches his head a little with a huff. ]}

Well, you're a pretty lady, so I should assist you. It's not anything REALLY REALLY fond, but.. yeah.
I'll be here.

We will be seeing who is more 'helpful'--
You only help the pretty ones, then? Amerika. [she's tutting you] Shameful.

No, that's not it! I've been saying ALL ALONG I wanna help everyone! But, you know.
Pretty ladies... chivalry and shit.

[arm cross]

Chivalry is dead.

You know that I can handle myself, Amerika. Why kid yourself?

_{[ And then, a bit smug. ]}

You needed my help in the past.

And you cast me aside as soon as you saw fit.

Very helpful.

Did not. You were the one who was like, "Oh, Amerika, he interferes with everything da. We don't need him."

If anything, you cast me aside; much like you're doing right now.

You were quick to accuse me of being undemocratic--

Oh, and then you accused me--on very little basis--of housing important enemies of state. Not to mention all of your meddling.

[So yes, she is saying you get in the way because you did. And if they were in kindergarten she could boldly point at him and say "YOU STARTED IT".]

The only reason you were wanting to help me was to prove a point against the evils of the former USSR, da?

Nuh uh. _{That's not true.}
I've helped you several times, and some of those being after the USSR fell.

_{I helped you because I wanted to.}

[there's a mildly hysterical quality to her tone now. MILDLY.]

You are such an IDIOT. [Shoves him hard in the arm; scowling] You were doing that AFTER I gained my independence! If it is not YOUR way it is no way.

[scoots farther away. yeah, you're winning her heart alright]

You can't be looking at me without a HINT of disdain for who I am or the relations I have.

_{[ pushhhed oh nooo. he was about to make a move on her too. ]}

What---!? Yeah! That's because my way is always the best way; it's for everybody else's benefit too!

And-- and that's not true at all! I know you're different!

My people have been through enough without being ridiculed 'for their own benefit'! Keep treating me like a damsel, Amerika. You keep doing that and I will show you crazy.

[Yeah, she's not wanting to sit next to him right now so she's up by the end of her threat, staring down at him-- because that's rare considering she's such a runt]

I am not stupid. Please stop playing innocent.

Fine. Whatever. I see how it is.

_{[ He said, keeping where he was and drawing little circles on the floor. ]}

I'm just offering help. I don't like thinking too hard about the past. _{[ you brought up the past, America. ]}

_{But I know here and now.. I'm willing to assist you. Or whatever, okay?}

You see how it is?

YOU SEE HOW IT IS?!

[here's where you would suspect her of lashing out with that blade snug to the inside of her arm, but she doesn't. who knows why? Coolly, she toed aside a stray sheet of paper]

I am going on a walk. Do be trying to avoid being killed, da?

_Okay.

I'll still be here.
or something.

I don't care.

[seething, as it is her natural reaction these days]

Child.

Bitch.

[video] 002

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LMAO

GET YOUR NIPPLES OUT OF HERE.

NOPE.

X( BE GONE, HEATHEN

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Did I manage to finish my first thread ever?