http://starstripedhero.livejournal.com/ (
starstripedhero.livejournal.com) wrote in
ataraxion2011-12-12 12:27 am
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Entry tags:
- agent carolina,
- america (alfred f. jones),
- ariadne,
- arthur,
- asato,
- austria (roderich edelstein),
- belarus (natalia arlovskaya),
- chase kilgannon,
- connor temple,
- gideon "mouse" graham,
- heatwave,
- hungary (elizaveta héderváry),
- imogen "cambridge" moore,
- jack noir | au,
- mace,
- max "hotspur" southey,
- robert capa,
- spock (xi),
- statsraaden,
- taylor "tyke" kee,
- tony stark,
- wheatley
[video] 002
[ Hi Tranquility. Are you ready dor a mouthfull? Cause you're getting it. Feed clicks on to show America, apparently just out of his jumpsuit and in his boxers. He's just seated on his bed, hair tousled a bit, evidently not very concerned about his appearance even though he's addressing who knows how many people. He's too lazy to get up. He's eating out of a bag of chips that he found aboard the ship when exploring the facilities; that is what he spent all day doing.
Giving the communicator a bit of a salute, he says something incoherent with his mouth full before flashing a grin. ]
HEEEEEY YOU GUYS. EVENING, DUDES, THIS IS YOUR HERO SPEAKING. GOT SOME IMPORTANT TO SAY. You better listen up, I've also got a surprise for you all! [ He adjusts his posture, throat clearing. ]
Hahaha, righto! SO! If you are unfamiliar with EARTH, or whatever, I've been awesomely awesome as usual and drew myself a map for you dudes so you can understand the very, VERY, important things about the Earth I've graciously drawn out for you. Yeah, I'm a nice guy! Hahahaaha! So, here we go! It looks something like THIS, are you ready?? Tony, bro, if you will please!
[ A little grey alien jumps into view, holding up a piece of paper which looks like this: ]

HAHAA. RIGHT, so that totally accurate cause I drew it! Everything circled is MINE, and I pointed out my dick cause it has the HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH! This is for you slackers that didn't pay attention to American geography class for whatever reason!! Hahaha, so! On the subject of my dick, [ pointing to the map as he say all of this ] I'll just segway as to why THIS IS MY DICK. If you don't know what the shit I'm talking about, I'M GONNA EXPLAIN. [ A brief pause to stuff some chips in his mouth and he speaks, lips smacking before swallowing. ]
--So, I figure I'll be the heroic one and take responsibility here. I'm gonna break something to you all just in case you hear country names being thrown around and you're all: Oh my GOD WHAT THE SHIT!?!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE ALFRED, OH GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING.
RIIIIIIIGHT, chill out, here's the low-down. Some of us you may talk to are the embodiments of our respectable countries we're being called. We're like the spirits of our countries like some crazy Miyazaki film or something. SO YEAH YOU HEARD ME. YEAH IT'S MIND-BLOWING, INNIT? BUT YOU KNOW THIS WHOLE THING IS MIND-BLOWING,. I MET CAPTAIN KIRK WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE FICTIONAL, SO WHATEVER, DUDE. And we have human names just for kicks, and when we gotta use them for living out normal life shit or something. [ He picks at his nose slightly before continuing. ]
Uh, okay, RIGHT SOMETHING COOL: Apparently people also can be from different timelines and alternate dimensions and it's REALLY FUCKING FAR OUT AND AWESOME! BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT BESIDES THE FACT YOU MAY BE FROM OUR WORLD, OR YOU MAY NOT.
Anyway, back on the subject of us, basically we're all really, really important and have a degree of immortality and super strength and stamina last I checked! The citizens and the government make us up, parts of the landmass coincide with parts on our body, etccc, etccc, yadda yadda. So far there are only four of us I've seen on this ship! We're hundreds of years old, we age differently, we die differently, we've fought in wars, we've done responsibilities that you don't even KNOW OF, MAN. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.
OKAY SOOOOO, ONTO THE INTROS I'll introduce!
If you see a girl that thinks she has a dick, has long hair with a flower in it sometimes, that's Hungary! Maybe you know her as Elizaveta. F.Y.I, J.S.Y.K HISTORY LESSON: She used to be married to this dude named Austria, or Roderich if you give a shit about European history, which I really don't!! Haha! He's here and he has glasses and is like a pansy. They're both from the 1950's for some reason! WHICH REALLY BLOWS MY MIND CAUSE HOLY SHIT IT'S LIKE BACK TO THE FUTURE.
Hahaha! Right! And the other one is Natalia, or Belarus. If you meet a crazy lady that wants to marry her brother, that's her and you should just.. be careful. She's former USSR and scary as shit. She's from the year crazy and will ALWAYS be there. Basically I gotta say about her; just be cautious, even if she's hot. Don't give into her hotness, she'll lure you in like a she-devil and propaganda your shit out.
[ A bit of laughter, sounding a bit nervous if anything, he throws his head back. ]
HAHAHA! SO ANYWAY, DUDES. There's one of us for every country! Isn't that kind of AWESOME?? Other country guys that I haven't seen are England. You can tell by his massive eyebrows and Simon Cowell I-hate-my-life personality that he is England and I kicked his ass in the Revolution. Juuuuust thought I'd throw that out there for you people that aren't familiar with anything pertaining to America. Never try anything he cooks, and he hallucinates fairies and shit. Just ignore that; he's loony--
If you see a guy with a fat face, fat nose, fat ass, fat stomach, that's Russia, or Ivan! He's stupid and you shouldn't like him. Why? Well, he's a Communist power hungry dick and I beat his ass in the Cold War! [ no you didn't ] Yeah, I know I'm cool.
Oh! And one more I'll talk about. if you see a dude that looks like lady with blond hair and a thick accent, you should just run! That's the Frenchie, or Francis, and he smells like garlic and he's basically a pervert. Aaaaaall you gotta know about him. Those are just a few of us! But like I said, I've only seen Hungary, Austria, and Belarus.
[ A beat, he takes a deep breath. ]
SO LAY IT ON ME, DUDES AND DUDETTES. Am I making myself clear? Get it? Map of the earth? We're the embodiments of that? We're the SHIT COOOOOOL AWESOME? DISNEYWORLD IS ON MY DICK???
HAAHAA, SO. If you have any questions regarding this, feel free to contact me!
This is Alfred F. Jones, the United States of America......
OVER AND OUT!!!!
[ THE MOST CONFUSING EXPLANATION EVER, BUT HERE YOU GO. ]
Giving the communicator a bit of a salute, he says something incoherent with his mouth full before flashing a grin. ]
HEEEEEY YOU GUYS. EVENING, DUDES, THIS IS YOUR HERO SPEAKING. GOT SOME IMPORTANT TO SAY. You better listen up, I've also got a surprise for you all! [ He adjusts his posture, throat clearing. ]
Hahaha, righto! SO! If you are unfamiliar with EARTH, or whatever, I've been awesomely awesome as usual and drew myself a map for you dudes so you can understand the very, VERY, important things about the Earth I've graciously drawn out for you. Yeah, I'm a nice guy! Hahahaaha! So, here we go! It looks something like THIS, are you ready?? Tony, bro, if you will please!
[ A little grey alien jumps into view, holding up a piece of paper which looks like this: ]

HAHAA. RIGHT, so that totally accurate cause I drew it! Everything circled is MINE, and I pointed out my dick cause it has the HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH! This is for you slackers that didn't pay attention to American geography class for whatever reason!! Hahaha, so! On the subject of my dick, [ pointing to the map as he say all of this ] I'll just segway as to why THIS IS MY DICK. If you don't know what the shit I'm talking about, I'M GONNA EXPLAIN. [ A brief pause to stuff some chips in his mouth and he speaks, lips smacking before swallowing. ]
--So, I figure I'll be the heroic one and take responsibility here. I'm gonna break something to you all just in case you hear country names being thrown around and you're all: Oh my GOD WHAT THE SHIT!?!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE ALFRED, OH GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING.
RIIIIIIIGHT, chill out, here's the low-down. Some of us you may talk to are the embodiments of our respectable countries we're being called. We're like the spirits of our countries like some crazy Miyazaki film or something. SO YEAH YOU HEARD ME. YEAH IT'S MIND-BLOWING, INNIT? BUT YOU KNOW THIS WHOLE THING IS MIND-BLOWING,. I MET CAPTAIN KIRK WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE FICTIONAL, SO WHATEVER, DUDE. And we have human names just for kicks, and when we gotta use them for living out normal life shit or something. [ He picks at his nose slightly before continuing. ]
Uh, okay, RIGHT SOMETHING COOL: Apparently people also can be from different timelines and alternate dimensions and it's REALLY FUCKING FAR OUT AND AWESOME! BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT BESIDES THE FACT YOU MAY BE FROM OUR WORLD, OR YOU MAY NOT.
Anyway, back on the subject of us, basically we're all really, really important and have a degree of immortality and super strength and stamina last I checked! The citizens and the government make us up, parts of the landmass coincide with parts on our body, etccc, etccc, yadda yadda. So far there are only four of us I've seen on this ship! We're hundreds of years old, we age differently, we die differently, we've fought in wars, we've done responsibilities that you don't even KNOW OF, MAN. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.
OKAY SOOOOO, ONTO THE INTROS I'll introduce!
If you see a girl that thinks she has a dick, has long hair with a flower in it sometimes, that's Hungary! Maybe you know her as Elizaveta. F.Y.I, J.S.Y.K HISTORY LESSON: She used to be married to this dude named Austria, or Roderich if you give a shit about European history, which I really don't!! Haha! He's here and he has glasses and is like a pansy. They're both from the 1950's for some reason! WHICH REALLY BLOWS MY MIND CAUSE HOLY SHIT IT'S LIKE BACK TO THE FUTURE.
Hahaha! Right! And the other one is Natalia, or Belarus. If you meet a crazy lady that wants to marry her brother, that's her and you should just.. be careful. She's former USSR and scary as shit. She's from the year crazy and will ALWAYS be there. Basically I gotta say about her; just be cautious, even if she's hot. Don't give into her hotness, she'll lure you in like a she-devil and propaganda your shit out.
[ A bit of laughter, sounding a bit nervous if anything, he throws his head back. ]
HAHAHA! SO ANYWAY, DUDES. There's one of us for every country! Isn't that kind of AWESOME?? Other country guys that I haven't seen are England. You can tell by his massive eyebrows and Simon Cowell I-hate-my-life personality that he is England and I kicked his ass in the Revolution. Juuuuust thought I'd throw that out there for you people that aren't familiar with anything pertaining to America. Never try anything he cooks, and he hallucinates fairies and shit. Just ignore that; he's loony--
If you see a guy with a fat face, fat nose, fat ass, fat stomach, that's Russia, or Ivan! He's stupid and you shouldn't like him. Why? Well, he's a Communist power hungry dick and I beat his ass in the Cold War! [ no you didn't ] Yeah, I know I'm cool.
Oh! And one more I'll talk about. if you see a dude that looks like lady with blond hair and a thick accent, you should just run! That's the Frenchie, or Francis, and he smells like garlic and he's basically a pervert. Aaaaaall you gotta know about him. Those are just a few of us! But like I said, I've only seen Hungary, Austria, and Belarus.
[ A beat, he takes a deep breath. ]
SO LAY IT ON ME, DUDES AND DUDETTES. Am I making myself clear? Get it? Map of the earth? We're the embodiments of that? We're the SHIT COOOOOOL AWESOME? DISNEYWORLD IS ON MY DICK???
HAAHAA, SO. If you have any questions regarding this, feel free to contact me!
This is Alfred F. Jones, the United States of America......
OVER AND OUT!!!!
[ THE MOST CONFUSING EXPLANATION EVER, BUT HERE YOU GO. ]
[audio] i can't i have lost the ability to can
I'm sorry. What?
OH NO. 8C video;
Hmmnnnnn? Somebody there?
[audio]
Uh, yes. Hello.
I was just, uh. Wondering. About the, ah...the validity of this chart.
video;
DUMP TEA IN A HARBOR, QUICKKK OH GOD. ]
Pretty valid. I mean, for basics... starters. A lot of people had no idea what I was talking about, so this is all elementary, really.
[audio] --> [video]
No, no, appreciate the help, honestly. Not...quite what I remember about Earth, but I guess...if you're...a country?
How does that work, exactly?
perma-video
Do you really want me to try and explain that to you?
I mean, I absolutely can the best of my ability, but it's intense, dude.
no subject
PLACEHOLDER / OOC NOTE.
i'm letting you know i haven't abandoned you i'll tag this back when i get a break, possibly tonight. <3 ]
Re: PLACEHOLDER / OOC NOTE.
RIGHT SORRY ABOUT THAT.
America takes a deep breath and cracks his knuckles a little bit. ]
This is how I've always understood it, man. You should take notes cause I ain't repeating this shit again.
RIGHT SO. You've got your countries, yeah? Respectable landmasses. We, however, are the essence of the landmass. By essence, I mean not just the citizens, but the government, the cultures, blah blah. A huge mambo jambo combination of it. We're pretty hella important, and back home, there are only specific ways we can die. Not many nations have died when you stop and think about it; I really cannot tell you how it is we can die, but we have a sense of immortality.
Think of it as a boat; captains and crew may die, the boat may get damaged, but once it is repaired and there is a new crew to man it, it can last forever. Prussia is an awesome example; technically he "doesn't exist" anymore, but he's so closely tied to Germany, he ended up just merging with Germany and now lives with him in his house so he can still exist.
Treaties and alliances that we are put through means that we have to get along with whoever it is our boss and government are making us treaty with. Sometimes, us, personally do not like to get along with whoever it is. Sometimes the way the government reacts to a treaty can coincide with how we personally react to things.
Places on our map are represented at times by like... I don't know. Parts on our body or important shit. Like the Isles of Nantucket; they're up here! [ He gestures to that stray clump of hair in his part. ]
Physically touching or disrupting a part of out body doesn't effect the landmass itself. However, if our economy is bad, or a natural disaster hits, it sometimes can effect us physically.
Uhhhh. We age differently; technically I'm 235 years old as of July 4th, 1776. However, I'm older than that as well. I was a child when I was under England's rule when he was an Empire. When I declared my independence, I went through sort of a rebirth. I hardly remember things as a child colony; if I sit down and read my history from a book, it brings back memories but... I don't really like remembering those things.
That's about the gist of it, really! It can get a lot more complicated; like we sometimes cannot really have a choice of who we're attracted to, or who we end up marrying. One time France had to propose to England to save his life! HAHAA. It was pretty hilarious.. but they're not really married anymore.
Actually, I'm not sure what happened. I just know they're both still alive and both still hate each other.
I'M SORRY I CANNOT RETURN YOUR BEAUTIFUL WALL OF TEXT WITH ONE OF MY OWN
Rrright. Well.
That is...that is a thing.
NO WORRIES I DIDNT EXPECT IT.
Do you get it? Understand it? Any questions?
no subject
Think I've got it. [He doesn't 8(]