text ★ 006 ★ 60% filtered away from ward and resnik

[herocomplex]

Good EVENING Tranquility dudes!
Boy, I sure did miss some excitement, didn't I? People disappearing? People getting lost in hallways? What the hell? 
Come oooooooon, guys! Give me DEETS. I demand all your deets, hahahaha! This isn't anything really funny! It should be absolutely SERIOUS.
If you experienced what all happened or know shit about this, I really, really have to know about this! I really have to! Give me all deets; every single one plz :D

In any case, I've been OKAY, I'm sure all of you were really worrying! In my absence, I typed up little duties for you to assist me all since I'm that considerate of you all. This is only if shit totally goes down again, so pay attention! We have to stick together through all of this!

RIGHT SO HERE WE GO WITH THE SUPER AWESOME ASSIGNMENTS I'VE GIVEN EVERYONE:
- TONY MY ALIEN BUDDY: SIDEKICK AS USUAL.
- ASATO: BACKUP!!! WIELDER OF ASS-KICKING AND LIBERTY.
x2 DOUBLES AS A HOUSEPET (HOUSETRAINED).
- WHEATLEY: PARTNER IN CRIME; PERSONAL THERAPIST.
- AUSTRIA: CAKE MAKER FOR ME; STRATEGY MAKER AND TALK IT OUT DICK-BUDDY.
- CANADA: BACK UP; CUDDLE=BUDDY AND STRATEGY MAKER.
x2 DOUBLES AS A DECOY IF I DON'T WANT TO MESS UP MY FACE.
- CHASE: PSYCHIC KID; DEETS GIVER BEFORE I FLIP MY SHIT.
- SHERLOCK: MAGIC DUST BUDDY; SMART GUY; MAKE USE OF HIM SOMEHOW.
- PURPLE TEXT ALIEN GUY: WHINER (IMPORTANT CAUSE IT GIVES ME EGO BOOSTS, SO KEEP WHINING YOU'RE DOING GREAT).
- BLUE TEXT ALIEN CHICK: BACK UP!!!!!!!! (LOOK I MADE EIGHT); HOLDER OF NUKES.
- OBNOXIOUS RED TEXT KID: PARTNER IN RAPPING CRIME; GREAT WHEN I'M BORED.
- BLUE TEXT KID: AMUSEMENT. KEEP IT UP, KIDDO. SO HELP ME IF I GET BORED.
- CAPTAIN KIRK: JUST KEEP BEING AWESOME. YOU'RE DOING GREAT. I NEED YOUR AWESOMENESS IN MY LIFE.
- RUSSIA: ASSHOLE. JUST KEEP BEING AN ASSHOLE.
- BELARUS: THE SEXIER PERSONAL THERAPIST/SANDWICH MAKER.
- FRANCE: JUST BE DEFEATED AND/OR SMELL OF CHEESE AS USUAL + GIVE ME MONEY AND WE'LL BE OKAY.
- CHELL: NINJA.
- EVERYONE ELSE: BACK UP IF YOU WANT, BUT I SHOULD BE OKAY WITH THIS.
I CAN HANDRE IT
HANDLE IT*
BUT STAY TUNED FOR ANY LIKE UPDATES OR ANYTHING.

Comments

TEXT. /stayclassysherlock

[consulting]

Cocaine. Do call the solution by it's proper name.
Magic Dust sounds exceedingly undignified.

SH

text; encrypted 80%

[herocomplex]

SHERLOCK.
MY MAIN MAN.
EVEN IF HE'S FROM THE BBC AND NOT A SEXY AMERICAN ACTOR.

Hey dude, how's it hanging? Give me deets.
I'm sure you know something killer awesome before I piss my pants.
And you know....

I still have some of that COCAINE, excuse me, for a rainy day if that peeks your interest any.

video;

[hummerdoc]

[eyebrow]

Where did you disappear off to?

text;

[herocomplex]

_{[ oh he remembers you HELLO YOU. ]}
I had some very important business to attend to that is super-secret-top-secret-nation-shit nobody can ever know about!!!

_{[ aka: the event kind of FREAKED HIM OUT what if it was ghosts oh my god space ghosts that is like ALIEN AND GHOSTBUSTERS PUT TOGETHER he doesn't think he can handle that. ]}

[audio]

[testgasm]

Did you see it? The creepy room? Not sure how much of a recap you want, but, uh. I can try. If you--if you missed anything. Doing...whatever it is you do.

[Personal...therapist...]

What's this job business all about, then?

audio;

[herocomplex]

WHEATLEY.

_{[ practically YELLING ]}

WHAT HAPPENED, MAN.

_{[ yeah that's all he wasn't really listening to you. ]}

voice;

[entrapments]

Well I guess somebody should've done some exploring.

text;

[herocomplex]

Huh?
Hey. This is a new person. I'm totes positive I haven't heard you before.

Maybe I have. But I'm pretty confident I haven't.
I'll introduce myself.

My name is America! I'm going to be the hero and save us all!
And I practically never lose my shit about things!

text

[mutelunatic]

?

perma-text;

[herocomplex]

I know that vague and single question mark anywhere.
Chell!
Do you see why you're a ninja?

text;

[circumitus]

deets?

text;

[herocomplex]

Deets! Details!
Information! Factual statements!
Gimme gimme!

text.

[kleptoluckiac]

[ as cute as the 8 thing was. ]

H8y!
Why am I j8st a 8ack up????????
And it's Vriska, dum8ass!
You should 8e honored, people have to earn my name!

perma-text;

[herocomplex]

LOL.
Vriska! You guys have really weird names cause you're aliens! It's okay, Tony had a weird name too so I just renamed him Tony. Maybe I'll just give you a new name too.

And you're not just anybody, Vriska! Risk...a
Risk..
Ris...
RACHEL.

You're NUKE HOLDER. You know what that means?
It's giving you a hell of a lot of power!!
!!!!!!!!

Video

[walksonrooftops]

What does "housetrained" mean?

[This is an important question, clearly.]

video;

[herocomplex]

_{[ And America switches to video here because IT'S HIS BFF ASATO. ]}

Asaaaaaato! BUDDY. Howwww's it going?
it means nothing! It means you're awesome! Completely and totally mondo-cool, my cool cat.
Nothing happened to you, right?

[za_rodina]

I really shouldn't be surprised by this list, shouldn't I?

[Wow, he's totally drawling out that sentence. It was so calm without you, America, can you blame him for that?]

video;

[herocomplex]

LOOK AT RUSSIA DOING HIS JOB RIGHT.
Way to go, Russia! You're pissing me off and that makes me aggressive!
So when the enemy appears, I can unleash all of my sexual tension anger out on them!
In fact, just looking at your face makes me want to punch something!

What a pal you are, Russia! Thanks for being ugly! _{[ oh wow he's losing it. ]}

By the way, I made out with like seven chicks so I think I kicked your ass in that competition.
_{[ he's a liar but he says it SO CONFIDENTLY so hm. ]}

[video]

[the_vishual]

I'm assuming 'deets' is 'details.'

text;

[herocomplex]

Wow! You're smart and you're up to date with the latest slang.
Super mondo impressed, kiddo.

Now tell me what you know cause I know you know everything ever.

[uncodlyawwesome]

you make me wwanna fuckin punch somethin evvery time you post

perma-text;

[herocomplex]

Hey Era...
Eri...

ERIK.

How's it hanging, my slick alien dude? Miserable as ever?
Oh hey!! You wouldn't happen to know anything about what went on, right?
Aaaaand I bet if you do, you wouldn't really tell me, huh?

[scratched]

do you seriously not know my name
brb becoming citizen of canada

perma-text;

[herocomplex]

No, wait.
Don't do that.
Don't surrender your life to that of humiliation and shame.
You're cooler than that.

[cutsofftheirlimbs]

Well you could say that.

Long story short we're not exactly alone on this ship.

text;

[herocomplex]

Psht, well YEAH I could have told you that when I arrived here three months ago.

But I feel like maybe it's the two in charge who are behind this maybe.
I've met them both.