[video]

[alsohawkeye]

[ The camera is met with an angry-looking Kate, one angle of her jaw flexing as teeth clench. Her forearms are folded on the tabletop in front of her and she leans her weight onto them. The way she launches right in gives the impression she's been holding back this bad mood for a while before giving in. ]

Okay, so first of all, whoever stole my bow at the jump: bring it back. It's a cheap piece of crap anyway and it's not like we have arrows laying around but it's the only one I have here and there aren't any more in the armory and it's not exactly an inconspicuous weapon so what are you even going to do with it without me finding you?? Seriously, just bring it back before you damage it somehow and I promise I won't hit you with it no matter how tempted I am.

And speaking of people around here being total assholes [ Because whatever, she's started now and trying to make her no-hitting promise sincere just has the frustration shunting off into another topic, ], is someone turning people into animals seriously allowed now? That's just a thing we're cool with, going to let that slide on by, no brig time involved? [ She's not generally a very animated speaker but her hands twist off the table into the air into a 'seriously?' gesture. ] FYI never annoy this Gold guy because I guess he can just turn you into a cat if he feels like it and nobody will ever do anything. If I disappear after posting this be on the look-out for new pets wandering around or something. On second thought maybe that'd be a nice change from this place's bullshit for a while. Gold, if you're watching, just make it a dog or a bird or something, alright? Cool.

[ It's hard to make a dramatic exit on a touch-screen device but she pushes the STOP button as abruptly as she can anyway. Hawkeye out. Nope, wait, spoke too soon. It starts up again after a second just long enough for her to shout: ]

And bring me back my god damn bow!

[ Okay, now it's done. ]

Comments

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[pushfall]

Then my work here is done. I'm all about inspiring cravings for eastern European dumplings. Time to close up shop.

I haven't, not, but if they're half as funny as you then I don't think anything is going to get done on this whole recon thing.

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[alsohawkeye]

Wow, thanks for those. Now I have no idea what to make of you. On the one hand, seems cool, on the other hand, obviously evil?? [ This is such a Hawkeye problem. ]

( text )

[alsohawkeye]

I guess it's for the good of the ship then that they probably won't get it. I like Emma but she'll probably think it's weird, and Bucky has his moments but is kind of going through some stuff. No idea about Hook. I wonder if he'll have a giant hat and mustache?

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[pushfall]

[ Instant curiosity about Bucky and this stuff he is going through, but she doesn't address it. ]

I don't know how I feel about someone who might find jacket raptors weird. What's weird about it? That's just ridiculous. I'll only be able to get behind Hook if he does have a giant hat and mustache. That way we'll match as we dance away while twirling our obviously evil mustaches.

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[alsohawkeye]

I mean it could be a raptor who wears a jacket, that'd be much weirder.

Also I just met Hook like literally twelve seconds ago and he doesn't have a hat or a mustache?? I'm pretty disappointed. But he is kind of hot, so there's that.

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[pushfall]

Not as weird as a raptor who wears a top hat. I'm not even sure where that came from.

I guess being hot kind of makes up for the missing hat and mustache. But only slightly. Wait, does he have a hook? That's probably a stupid question, but I just want to be sure.

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[capsize]

He does.

[ And he can also read, thank you. ]

( video )

[alsohawkeye]

Oh hi. That's what I said! We're glad. [ Ahahahahaha awkward. Watch Kate grin in the face of it as if oblivious. ]

( video )

[capsize]

[ Glad he lost his hand?? Wow excuse you. ] Let me guess. You reckon Peter Pan's a hero, Neverland's full of magic and fairies — and something about a crocodile.

[ Just slightly wry, but there's no real offense taken. ]

( video )

[alsohawkeye]

[ Wow that is pretty bad when you put it that way. Kate lifts a hand in gesture, and then flips it over and gestures again. ]

I mean. Yes. That is the story. But I'm willing to assume you're not a villain since Shepard trusts you.

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[capsize]

I wouldn't be so quick to assume Shepard's invested in the strength of our virtue, love.

[ Gently amused, and said as much in regards to himself as last month's crew. A guy with rats and a guy who carries blood bags around don't exactly scream "righteous". ] What about you? Keen to play hero?

( video )

[alsohawkeye]

[ Kate makes a head-tipping gesture of admission. Fair point. ] Virtue's probably not the word. But I assume she wouldn't hand a team to someone she thinks is just as likely to stab us all in the backs, either.

[ As for herself, she lifts a shoulder and a brow. ] Play? No. It's what I do.

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[capsize]

[ UUUUUUUGHHHHHH heroes. He withholds the sarcastic commentary, but that doesn't hide the fact that his knee-jerk response is to roll his eyes.

She's on his team. Teamwork. Don't be an asshole. Best way to do that is to change the subject, clearly. ] You're an archer?

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[pushfall]

[ O...ops. This is actually one of the very first times that Claire has used the video function. As such, her expression looks a little like she has prepared for a job interview. ]

Hey, you do have a mustache.

[ Meet your comms liaison, Killian. ]

( video ); PRIVATE

[alsohawkeye]

[ Here, Claire, have a video of Kate cracking the fuck up. ]

( video ); PRIVATE

[pushfall]

[ Claire has literally not laughed this hard IN ACTUAL MONTHS. She mouths something that looks suspiciously like What is happening? As if not actually speaking is going to make this any less absurd. ]

( video ); PRIVATE

[alsohawkeye]

[ Kate shakes her head and shrugs, mouthing the starts of words with empty hands raised like who the fuck knows but I think I love it. ]

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[pushfall]

[ She is laughing, and then nodding, getting the first part under control with help from the second. ]

I think this team is gonna do okay. [ Pause. ] Or never get off the ground, but I'd count that as a win at this point, too.

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[alsohawkeye]

We've somehow managed not to offend Hook-- Killian [ she makes a face and gesture that simultaneously ask 'what??' and answers 'I don't knoooow' ], despite my best efforts, so I have a feeling we might just make it.

( video )

[capsize]

[ And Swan calls him Captain Obvious. There's an amused pause before he flashes an arrogant grin, though it only lasts a second, faltering slightly as a thought occurs to him. ]

Why the hat?

( video )

[pushfall]

[ The only ounce of momentary, nervous energy she has regarding this encounter is mostly a byproduct of hoping these people like her. It would actually really kind of suck if none of them got along when they were meant to be working together soon. She tries: ]

It would go with the mustache? And the hook?

( video )

[capsize]

[ That earns a deeply unsure look, if only because he's gotten so much fashion advice since showing up on this damn ship that he's starting to develop a complex. Another short pause, and then the unsure expression gives way to exaggerated (and totally faked) innocence. ]

And hats and mustaches— they'd be considered "hot", I take it?

[ Mocking the gossip or fishing for compliments for himself and/or whatever weird counterpart they were discussing, either or. ]

( video )

[pushfall]

Yes. [ Wait. ] I mean they aren't mutually exclusive. It would depend on several other factors, which I am so not prepared to get into.

[ She is very clearly and professionally making an idiot of herself, which, really, isn't that strange. Claire can remember a time when she wasn't so awkward. Those were the days. ]

Can we start over? I'm Claire Bennet. I'll be your comms liaison, which I'm sure you're thrilled about following this conversation.

( text )

[alsohawkeye]

What is that from? It seems familiar.

Yes, definitely has the hook! I checked. He's only said two words, I'll report back on whether he gets more or less hot if he talks.

( text )

[pushfall]

I'll never tell. All part of my diabolical scheme.

He found me. Abandon ship. That works on about three different levels I wasn't prepared for when I said it in the first place.