ataraxion | [video]

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[ The camera is met with an angry-looking Kate, one angle of her jaw flexing as teeth clench. Her forearms are folded on the tabletop in front of her and she leans her weight onto them. The way she launches right in gives the impression she's been holding back this bad mood for a while before giving in. ]

Okay, so first of all, whoever stole my bow at the jump: bring it back. It's a cheap piece of crap anyway and it's not like we have arrows laying around but it's the only one I have here and there aren't any more in the armory and it's not exactly an inconspicuous weapon so what are you even going to do with it without me finding you?? Seriously, just bring it back before you damage it somehow and I promise I won't hit you with it no matter how tempted I am.

And speaking of people around here being total assholes [ Because whatever, she's started now and trying to make her no-hitting promise sincere just has the frustration shunting off into another topic, ], is someone turning people into animals seriously allowed now? That's just a thing we're cool with, going to let that slide on by, no brig time involved? [ She's not generally a very animated speaker but her hands twist off the table into the air into a 'seriously?' gesture. ] FYI never annoy this Gold guy because I guess he can just turn you into a cat if he feels like it and nobody will ever do anything. If I disappear after posting this be on the look-out for new pets wandering around or something. On second thought maybe that'd be a nice change from this place's bullshit for a while. Gold, if you're watching, just make it a dog or a bird or something, alright? Cool.

[ It's hard to make a dramatic exit on a touch-screen device but she pushes the STOP button as abruptly as she can anyway. Hawkeye out. Nope, wait, spoke too soon. It starts up again after a second just long enough for her to shout: ]

And bring me back my god damn bow!

[ Okay, now it's done. ]

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[ Claire shrugs in a somewhat self-conscious way, admitting agreement and futility all at once. She'd be thrilled if they could figure something out. ]

Originally? Texas. Most recently? I went to college in Arlington, Virginia, but I've sort of bounced around from coast to coast over the last couple of years. What about you?

New York. I lived in LA for a while recently and then was kind of... [ her pause is sort of clearly a debate about how much of a complicated story to tell; she goes with the vague option for the moment ] all over the place before I ended up here. But New York's my home.

You don't have the Avengers in your world, do you?

[ There's a nod, because she gets that. Bouncing from coast to coast is an approximation of her time spent jumping all around the country in an insane attempt to make things be less insane. She understands. ]

My - what? No. What's an Avenger? It sounds dramatic.

[ 'An insane attempt to make things be less insane' would definitely describe large chunks of Kate's recent life very accurately.

Also: darn. ]

Superhero team. My world has a few of them; the Avengers are the most famous. People with powers or genius science or alien stuff saving the world.

[ Pausing is so much more obvious when you're actually doing it as an action rather than a sound effect. Claire's face even pauses, before she realizes that it's actually stupid to pretend like no one else knows anything about her family. It's a hard habit to break. ]

It's strange to hear people talk so openly about that kind of thin. People with powers or genius science saving the world. I haven't actually run into any aliens. I mean, like, little green Martian men or whatever it is you have. It would be cool to have a superhero team. They aren't like... I mean, they're just out there? No questions asked?

[ Kate tips her head back and forth equivocally. ] I mean. Yes and no? Some are, there are a lot of really famous heroes. And villains. But there were also a lot of problems with people who were born with powers, mutants. Discrimination and registration acts and terrorism and stuff like that. They tried to make all superheroes register once, too, and there was basically a civil war over it. But it's pretty public at this point.

And we've got all sorts of aliens, [ She adds, like that's a casual thing to tack on. ] Some are green, but there are lots of colors. So do people have powers in your world too?

[ She is sort of mystified by all of this. And a little emboldened. And envious. ]

Some people do, some people don't. In some people it's a genetic mutation and in others it was manufactured, but the fact remains that the people who actually exist with some sort of ability don't exactly have it easy. It's kept secret, for the most part. Most people think that the rest of the world wouldn't really know how to do deal with it.

Yeah, that sounds a lot like how things are for mutants here. They're better now, but it's still harder for them than people who are just geniuses or had weird accidents or experiments and things.

[ She hesitates a moment, unsubtly. ]

What can you do?

[ A beat passes in which she doesn't say anything, sort of looking at the camera a little helplessly as she tries to determine what she wants to say. This is what she's wanted, to be able to be open about it, to just come out and say it. So why is it borderline impossible? ]

I - [ That's about as far as she gets before she smiles. ] I don't have a lot of practice at just coming out and saying it without thinking in the back of my mind that someone is either gonna kill me for it or turn me into a lab rat. [ Because she would rather not be the center of attention right off the bat - ] Can you do anything? Something with archery?

[ Kate doesn't quite apologize for putting her on the spot like that but she does nod understandingly, smile tilting crooked at the question. ]

No, I'm just human. I mean, I'm really good at what I do, but I don't have powers or anything. But all of my closest friends do, [ she offers and hey look an easier segue into it. ] Billy is a sorcerer, he can bend reality. We thought Teddy was a shapeshifter but it turns out he's actually a long-lost alien prince from a shapeshifting race, but basically he can make himself look however he wants. Tommy is super-fast. David could absorb all the knowledge and skills of people around him. He can't anymore, but he remembers all the stuff he learned. America... not really sure what she is exactly, but she can kick holes between dimensions, and fly, and punch people really, really hard.

You really have to watch out for those long-lost alien princes. They'll get you every time.

[ She does something like giggle, and a lot of the tension in her chest dissipates. ]

Being just human wouldn't be so bad. That's all I used to want to be. I've more or less gotten over it and accepted normalcy for what it is, which is basically an impossibility. I mean, look where we are and what we're doing. I can't kick holes between dimensions or punch really, really hard but what I can do is just... it just kind of is, you know? [ And now for a distinct lack of segue. ] Are you any good at combat? Like hand to hand fighting? Or with guns?

It's amazing how they crop up, [ Kate agrees of alien princes, and smiles. Being just (just) human is a thing she has mixed feelings about day to day so instead of engaging directly she nods. ] Yeah, I am. I'm best with a bow, but I've studied martial arts and my aim's great with pretty much anything. And I fence. [ She shrugs and pre-empts the question: ] Private school.

[ Her face is a mixture of nonchalant acceptance and something impressed. You don't meet too many people who can fence. Or maybe you do, here. ]

When I signed up with Shepard, I mentioned that I'd eventually want to get out in the field, the way the rest of you do. I feel like I'd be better suited for it. Which... we've probably all seen, since I just got caught gossiping about a potentially hot but proven otherwise due to lack of hat guy on our team. She mentioned something about a Jax, but... if the mission goes well and we actually do end up working together well - [ Claire, stop rambling. ] - would you be interested in teaching me some basics, maybe? My dad tried to teach me once but it... didn't really take.

[ Kate's grin is quick to return at mention of pirate gossiping shenanigans, but by the end of the rambling she's nodding more seriously. ] Yeah, absolutely. We don't have to wait until after recon unless you'd rather, I mean this stuff is good to know just-- for life. Whether you're on a horrorship or not.

Oh and Jax is Jax Teller, he runs the Gunnery department and does firearms training if you join or are doing recon. He's great, I'm a fan of Jax. [ As evidenced by her smile. ] He's like this big biker dude but I'm pretty sure under the leather and facial hair he's got a total baby face.

[ Don't worry, Kate. Gossiping will continue as part of a morale booster at some point. And she'll get back to the more serious aspects of this conversation just as soon as she clears up one thing: ]

But does he have a hat?

A grubby baseball cap I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole?

Yeah that won't do. I'll have to check out this gun training. Sounds just as helpful as combat training, if you're up for it before the recon stuff.

Yeah, the gun training is a good idea. And mandatory for recon field work unless you already know how to handle one. We can start the rest whenever you want.

I feel like it kind of sounded like Jax and I are hooking up or something so I just want to make sure it's clear for the record that that's not true.

Right. Of course. Totally not hooking up. [ She laughs. Again. God, Claire, get a grip. ] Now I'm expecting him to drop in on this conversation, too. Anyway, I've fired a gun before, but I know that doesn't count as actual experience when you come down to it.

Seriously! [ Kate laughs, and shakes her head. ] He just kind of reminds me of my partner, that's all. But yeah definitely get real training. What'd you do, at home? [ It comes out more vague than in her mind, and she rolls a hand in gesture. ] Like school, or job, or....

That's how it starts.

[ There is a waggly eyebrow in there, as much as she can make one work. ]

School, mostly. It never really - I was thinking about dropping out, before everything at home started getting crazy. It's never really been something I've settled very well into, probably since my junior year. [ Friends getting murdered and all the other stuff will do that to you. ] What about you?

[ More laughter and some eye-rolling from Kate at that, and another little shake of her head. ] They're both walking disasters I really don't need to get that close to.

[ But oh hey, that sounds kind of familiar. Especially the friends getting murdered part. Her smile returns, smaller and more wry. ] I know how that goes. I've taken a couple classes but couldn't really make the actual college experience work with the rest of my life. I'm not going to give up being a superhero for dorm parties and 8am lectures, you know?

[ Kate is literally the physical embodiment of basically every desire that Claire has had for herself over the last two years. Maybe not the superhero part - but then again, it depends on the day - and Claire finds herself a little taken aback. ]

You have. No idea. How much sense that makes. I don't know if I'm necessarily superhero material, I seriously doubt it, but there's something that feels distinctly wrong about sitting still when you know that you should be moving forward, in whatever capacity.

Really? [ Kate was hopeful, but the understanding is still a pleasant surprise. ] Yeah, exactly! Not that college isn't important or worthwhile but it just feels like I can be doing more than that. I mean I have been doing more than that already, so it was like a step backwards. "Sorry, I can't come help save the world today, I have a chem exam?" [ She hesitates a beat and then adds, ] And it was kind of surreal.

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